Hey, fellas, FYI: Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex

[flvegan]

The Associated Press

Published: March 6, 2008

NEW YORK - American men still don't pull their weight when it comes to housework and child care, but collectively they're not the slackers they used to be. The average dad has gradually been getting better about picking himself up off the sofa and pitching in, according to a new report in which a psychologist suggests the payoff for doing more chores could be more sex.

The report, released Thursday by the Council on Contemporary Families, summarizes several recent studies on family dynamics. One found that men's contribution to housework had doubled over the past four decades; another found they tripled the time spent on child care over that span.

"More couples are sharing family tasks than ever before, and the movement toward sharing has been especially significant for full-time dual-earner couples," the report says. "Men and women may not be fully equal yet, but the rules of the game have been profoundly and irreversibly changed."

Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of "The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework," said equitable sharing of housework can lead to a happier marriage and more frequent sex.

"If a guy does housework, it looks to the woman like he really cares about her - he's not treating her like a servant," said Coleman, who is affiliated with the Council on Contemporary Families. "And if a woman feels stressed out because the house is a mess and the guy's sitting on the couch while she's vacuuming, that's not going to put her in the mood."

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2008/mar/06/men-who-do-housework-may-get-more-sex/

[mainegreen]

1. Last week I cleaned the house top to bottom while the Mrs put the little one to sleep.

We're talking mopping, dishes, kitty litter, putting away toys, and starting a load of laundry.

I can confirm the findings of this study.
:D

[supernova]

2. ....

:loveya:

Now that's sexy!


:thumbsup:

[dread]

32. Bullshyt

laundry, dishes, cooking, sewing, vacuuming, dog shyte removal, lawn cutting, garbage extraction, shoveling, the list goes on....

Not nearly often enough.

[mainegreen]

33. K, what are you saying?

Are you implying because I have a dick I don't pull my weight at home? It sounds that way. If so, kindly go fuck yourself and go back to your long lurking slumber.

If all you're saying is there's always too much work to do, well yes there is, and ignore the above.

[PRETZEL]

3. I've always helped around the house,

both marriages. In my first marriage I literally did everything. I cooked, cleaned, did alot of the running with the kids.

I still do a great deal of the housework. I've never had a problem with it.

I'M THE SERVANT.............................

[MissMillie]

7. I'm glad you're chipping in.... however

the language implies an attitude that it's not your job. "I've always helped...." Somehow that says to me that the responsibility belongs to someone else but that you're there to help out when needed.

How about, "I've always done my fair share" or "I pull my weight when it comes to household chores and child-rearing"?

Yeah, I'm being nit-picky, but it bugs me. Like men who say that they're "babysitting" their own kids. No one would ever say that a woman is "babysitting" her own child.

I think until the attitudes change, the dynamics never will.

[demmiblue]

13. The "babysitting" thing grates on my nerves, too!

:toast:

[youthere]

17. Oh spot on Miss Millie!

That's been a pet peeve of mine too...my husband works with a guy who uses that phrase all the time "I have to babysit tonight". AAAAARGH! They're HIS kids! My husband always asks him how much he gets paid, and if he gets to drink as much soda as he wants.

[PRETZEL]

18. Sorry, that isn't what I meant,

not in the least. I never considered the housework as something I shouldn't be chipping in on. My wife's days are just as long as mine and considering her job some days are more stressful (she works with autistic children) than others. I generally let her take whatever time she needs to unwind and during that time I'll do those things that we do everyday (usually she'll clean the bathroom while I straighten up the rest of the house) but many times she'll take time to talk to freinds or family and I'll do everything. That's not the issue that I have with my own situation, but with this article in particular.

Household chores are both people's responisbilities. No ifs ands or buts.

But at the same time, it is nice to have some degree of recognition and appreciation.

[MissMillie]

19. you know, I'm really sure that it isn't what you meant

I believe you when you say that.

It just seems to me that the standard phrases like that bring with them old-fashioned notions of gender roles.

And I just wanted to bring that to your attention.

:hi:

I hope you do get recognition and appreciation. You deserve it!

[PRETZEL]

20. thank you,

:hi:

[mike_c]

4. um, no....

I mean, I do ALL the housework around here. I do housework EVERY DAY. I'm not getting any.

I wonder if being single and living alone has anything to do with it? :rofl:

[MissMillie]

8. you think?

lol


I know exactly how you feel....

[NightWatcher]

5. hey, no housework threads

[youthere]

6. There is no bigger turn-on than having a cup of tea while your husband does the supper dishes...

best foreplay on Earth.

[MissMillie]

9. I like it when you do the dishes together....

... and you start the foreplay while you're working, snapping each other w/ dish towels and splashing water at each other....


(can you imagine that no one wants to marry me?.... I'll never understand it....)

[youthere]

12. It defies logic. Really...it does.

[MrCoffee]

26. yeah, so you can get another damn teacup all dirty?

:eyes:

[youthere]

34. Dirty Teacup vs. Hot Naked Sex...

decisions...decisions..decisions

[LeftyMom]

10. Tell you what.

You fly out here and we test that. Deal? ;)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. makes sense. i think women who are less tired and feel more appreciated

and much more likely to want sex

[youthere]

14. Plus its easier to "relax" knowing the laundry isn't going to topple over on you.

[Gonzo Gardener]

15. Nothing gets me hotter than seeing Mr. GM strap on...

his apron!

[BeachBaby]

16. Okay, this formula won't work for me.....

The boyfriend is more than willing to do his share around the house.....but I'm the one who wants sex all the time. In other words, he turns me on all the time without trying, so doing extra housework will only tire HIM out - and I just can't take that risk. :)

[tonkatoy57]

21. Hmm, exceptions to every rule i suppose

I'm responsible for house cleaning, fixing all the meals, laundry, yard work, making my wife's lunch in the morning, loading her car for work, and warming up the car for her every morning.

Ten years. Not even a come hither look.

[NewJeffCT]

22. Not always true

With my ex-wife, I did almost all the housework, but our sex life went downhill after we got married & she moved in... (always a good argument for living together first, IMO) She would cook a few times a week, but that was about it... I mean, i went away on a business trip for 3-4 days and came home to a mountain of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.

To be honest, I don't think she really noticed all the housework I was doing because she lived at home with her parents before we got married and had her mom cleaning up after her, and it just continued for her when she changed houses.

[MissMillie]

23. of course it's not always true

it's just statistically true!

:hi:

[NewJeffCT]

24. I know

just venting a bit. If it was true with ex and I got laid more often for doing more housework, I'd likely have spent all my free time having sex.

;-)

[Yavin4]

25. I Hear That If You Wear A Speedo While Doing The Housework

Makes the wifey a uncontrollable sex demon.

[China_cat]

27. And then there's the tried and true maxim:

No woman ever shot a man while he was doing dishes. (Or vacuuming, I might add. Laundry may be problematic, though)

[guitar man]

28. hasn't worked for me

:(

[Mugu]

29. While I don't have any real disagreement with what's been written,

but I would remind all that this is a two-sided coin.

Who is it that's out in the unheated garage in the middle of winter changing the oil, repairing the flat tire, or replacing the EGR valve so the 'Check Engine Soon' light goes out. There's nothing like cold steel to make old fingers ache.

When the snow gets knee-deep, who is it that mounts the blade on the tractor, gets the cranky old diesel engine running and clears the lane before going to work?

Whose responsible for emptying and reseting the mouse traps, digging the grave for the family pet, running the weed whacker, and cutting down and hauling off the dead Willow tree?

When the family outgrew the house and it was decided to improve the basement, who was responsible for framing, wiring the electrical outlets and lights, installing the plumbing, hanging the drywall, and stretching the carpet.

She picked out the new carpet, but he cut the bottom off all the doors so they fit and built up the threshold so the wind stayed outside. She pick out the tile and helped lay it, but it was his responsibility to replace the window that the dog broke and the rollers on the sliding glass door when it quit sliding.

I understand that the house work and kids is repetitive and stressful and I don't mind helping. But, it's also easy to forget that there are other tasks that are also necessary to keep a household running.

And if at the end of the day I have any energy left, I'll do my very best make it worth your while.

Regards, Mugu

[av8rdave]

30. Not accurate

[raccoon]

31. Also, one might get more sex if one doesn't watch TV until late at night, and then

wants to have sex, and both parties have to get up early to go to work.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

35. Kicking to send a hint...

[Deja Q]

36. I'll get the mop!

:D :D :D

[SKKY]

37. I cleaned the house, top to bottom, and yes, I can confirm the findings of this study as well...

...I even washed her car, vacuumed the inside, wiped everything down with Armor-all. The whole nine yards. She was impressed. Not "let's go to 5th base" kind of impressed, just generally impressed.

[RadiationTherapy]

38. Hey ladies! Reasonable requirements for cleanliness get more men involved in housework.

Also, not REDOING THE ENTIRE CHORE after he does it is also a major double plus good.

Also, having a modicum of control of the nesting instinct and not keeping every single thing that may, someday, have a use might help keep the clutter down.

Sorry if I am projecting, but I am a very clean person when it comes to biological cleanliness, but I am not rearranging the closets, dressers and garage which are all OVERFLOWING with clutter and multiple versions of the same useless, but sentimental trinkets.

Now, if I could only say this to my wife!

[LeftyMom]

40. OMG, Tim, is that you? Your wife sounds just like my Mom.

She comes by it honestly though- my late Grandmother once yelled at my late stepfather for cracking the icecube trays wrong in his own kitchen, while she was a guest.

[RadiationTherapy]

41. It can be delicate around the Therapy household.

My wife isn't controlling; she just knows what she wants out of every single moment in life down to atomic detail.

Meh. I'm still so in love, it doesn't matter.

Clutter wise: when we got together in Iowa City, she was on a road trip in a small, old Dodge RV. I had a back pack, a front pack and a guitar. We could barely fit my stuff into her RV. True story.

Oh, and I began learning guitar at age 24 and it totally changed my life. Guitar skill is measured 100% in hours spent. Keep at it, it is SO SO worth it.

[seemunkee]

39. Does paying for a cleaning service work?

[mwdem]

42. ...after 35 years of marriage,

Working, going to school, (both), raising kids (me, working when I can), me doing allll the housework, how does he even think he'll get laid???? He still comes home, eats, falls asleep in front of the tv, weekends, he spends with his f--king aquarium. WHAT...A....STUD......

[CreekDog]

43. Ahem, I keep a very clean house

I'm waiting. :eyes:

[Bucky]

44. Forget it, it's not worth it

I like sex, but I refuse to compromise my values.

[Bucky]

45. Why would I want to have sex with a woman who won't even degrade herself by cleaning up after me?

Really, I'm willing to compromise, but I just don't see an upside here.