TIRED TIRED TIRED!!!! (USFS Adult Midwesterns)

[ThatsMyBarack]

Well, I just got back from Ann Arbor. I got bottom of the barrel for Champ. Gold Ladies AGAIN:

http://web.icenetwork.com/events/detail.jsp?id=34666

I worked so hard this past year to improve my skating, and it hasn't worked. What's worse, most everybody in my group made mistakes in their programs (including me), and THEY got away with it! :wtf: I've talked to my friends, coach, therapist, family, etc., over and over about the same old shit. Nothing works. The top four finishers are so balletic and thin, and I'm so fucking awkward and fat! I prefer eating over starving, and boy does it show! What's more, those pretty people have their parents in their stands to cheer them on, and my mom won't ever come to watch me skate 'cuz my dad has Parkinsons. :(

I was pencil-thin once, when I was 17. I had to starve myself to get that way, and I was weak and hungry all the time. In my 20's, I gained it all back plus more. Starving for perfection just isn't worth it, so FUCK THE PRETTY WINNERS OF THE WORLD! :mad:

(DU Lounge is the only place in the world I can vent without having getting fucking shamed into the ground. Knock wood.)

[ThatsMyBarack]

1. Unh!

kick

[ThatsMyBarack]

2. ....

:cry:

[Haole Girl]

3. Oh....

I have been there. Not in ice skating, but in crew. To be in the boat I wanted to be in, I dipped lower than 97 lbs. It really wasn't healthy. If I had it to do over again, would I? Probably. I wanted to be the best... and to be in the best boat on the team. But the things people do for competition can be so unhealthy.

Please don't be hard on yourself. It's really unfortunate that nobody could be there to cheer you on. Maybe, next time, post a thread and DUers in that area can try to attend... who knows?

:hug:

[SallyMander]

4. I'm sorry that you didn't do as well as you hoped

If you're a figure skater i am SURE you're not "fat"... you are just living in a world surrounded by very, very thin people. You should be proud of yourself for the work you've put into this, and *please* stay healthy! Nothing is worth the terrible effects of anorexia!

:hug:

[DarkTirade]

5. Slightly off topic, but do you have any videos?

As soon as I can afford it, I'm planning on switching from hockey skates to figure skates and giving that a spin. No pun intended. :)

[ThatsMyBarack]

6. Just on my YouTube page....

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=70s80s

[DarkTirade]

7. Nifty.

Kinda hard to see one of 'em. :P