To make it through the coming Depression, I'm starting a commune

[prolesunited]

If you want to get in, make a case for why you should be accepted. What assets and skills do you have that will be useful?

[Sugar Smack]

1. OK, I'll make wine and beer for trade, but I won't drink it

cause I'm not drinking any more. And I can draw caricatures. And I can read aloud to the blind. I'm good at decorating things with rhinestones.

Am I in?:bounce:

[BeachBaby]

2. I can cuss a mean streak when provoked.

How's that for contribution to the commune? :)

[Aristus]

3. I'll be the commune historian.

B-)

[leeroysphitz]

4. I can make anything out of anykind of wood. I've spent years refurbishing old

CNC machines and can make even antiquated machines work like new.

If, in the bleak and desperate future, you would like a nice piece of furniture you ought to make sure that me and My family have had something to eat and that you have a few extra gallons of gas set aside to run a wood shop for a few days...

[quadriga]

5. I can turn the world on with my smile

[Ellen Forradalom]

6. I will clothe the commune with my own two hands.

I can sew, spin yarn, knit, crochet and weave.

I can bake bread and put up strawberry-rhubarb preserves.

I can translate our manifesto into French.

[XemaSab]

12. I'll vouch for this:

Her homemade bagels are THE BOMB. :D

[LynzM]

25. Ooh, I forgot knitting and crocheting...

I'm not especially good yet, but I can do the basics for each, and I learn fast! :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

37. I'll clothe women's boobies with my own two hands.

:evilgrin:

[Ellen Forradalom]

45. As warm as cashmere and more environmentally responsible

that's for sure.

[prolesunited]

67. Thanks

but no thanks.

Got anything else?

[JoDog]

101. I'm willing to be Ellen's apprentice

I've got the knitting and sewing, just starting on the spinning. I'm working my way back to the sheep. Teach me, master!

I also have a gardening and food preservation skills.

[ThomCat]

7. I am falling apart, and I'm able to do less and less as time goes on.

So I'd almost certainly be doing less than everyone else. I've be a drain on the commune.

On the other hand, I'm cheerful and social, and I nurturing people and animals when I can.

I used to be a damned good cook. I will happily help with menu planning and I'll assist anyone in the kitchen.

I definitely have the skills to keep the books and manage expenses. And I'll happily work with other people and/or teach other people so that more people have those skills too. :)

Can I come? Huh? Huh? Can I? Please? :7

[Sugar Smack]

11. You can be the "Cat Whisperer".

Who the hell's going to turn you away with a talent like that? :D

[ThomCat]

Awesome! I get to commune with more kitties!

:)

[OnionPatch]

8. I'm a certified Master Gardener.

I can grow lots of good stuff. :) I also know how to preserve food. Am I in?

[ThomCat]

15. I would love to have your skills,

and the ability to use them. That is so very cool. :)

[stuntcat]

62. cool!

My mom's CRAZY about the Master Gardener stuff, she's one too.


I'm not a master, just a Mere Gardener.. also I can take care of the animals and help clean :D

[XemaSab]

9. I have a degree in soils.

You can expect me shortly. :D

[tigereye]

10. proles!

:hi:


I'm a good listener - and I bake a mean pie! :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

17. Oh, I make a mean cup of coffee!

:hi:

[tigereye]

22. hey Sugar!

someday maybe we'll get to have some coffee. And pie!

:hi:

how are you, my friend?

[Connonym]

13. I'm a really good cook

not to mention great in bed :evilgrin:

[Lethe]

16. Forget the commune!

can i call you sometime?

:spank: :hi:

[SPKrazy]

14. I can soothe the savage beast

and calm the raging inferno that will ensue amongst us

the peacemaker

[Godhumor]

18. I can get the internet up and running using a thimble, a toothpick, 3 droplets of water, and 6 mice

The mice, however, will have to be trained in Prussian military cadence for reasons I can't disclose here.

Also, I can get you a really sweet interest rate on a commune equity loan. Especially, if the banking industry collapses.

[zingaro]

28. ah I can do it with a thimble, a toothpick, 3 droplets of water, FOUR mice, and

some dandelion fluff.

If dandelion fluff happens to be out of season, I can substitute a dust bunny but it mildly interferes with download speeds.

And I can't believe you told about the Prussian military cadence! Did you not have to swear?? Sheesh.

ot: your sig line made me laugh out loud.

[pokerfan]

19. Let's see

I know how to farm. Didn't like it, but if push comes to shove... I am a fair mechanic and know how to weld. I can hunt and butcher animals. I have a degree in electrical engineering if you want lights and shit. I was an amateur radio operator but my morse is a bit rusty. I've had extensive first aid training from when I was on ski patrol. Basic mountaineering skills and wilderness travel. I have a canoe. I was a Boy Scout. I can work alone or as part of a team. I can take orders or give them. I was on a parliamentary team in high school. I'm phlegmatic by nature and can usually talk my way out of most fights. I'm sure I will think of others. Oh yeah, I know how to knit. My grandma taught me. I can make beer.

[LynzM]

26. Holy shit.

If I ever start a commune and you're not already part of this one, I'm calling you up! :rofl: Between you and Zornhau, you'd keep the place running and full of nifty gadgets and out of trouble!

[Bennyboy]

20. I have mad gardening skills.......

Just in case we need some type of cash crop to sell to the villagers.....

[Lethe]

21. We ain't gonna be sellin' none of that!

:)

[Bennyboy]

27. 3 medical cards and

that is a lot of money....

[RainDog]

24. I know how to make paper

from those plant fibers... in case anyone wants to recycle the stems... and have a frame and everything, and know how to make more...
and I can garden too, and know how to set up a rain barrel to water a garden and I've laid patio stones in sand (and laid other things in sand... which, as Connonym notes, may have it's uses...oh, and I have a mantis tiller, too!

I can bring along some starter blueberry bushes and raspberry canes and roses for rose hips and st. john's wort and rue and santolina and lavendar and nasturium seeds and a bamboo tree for shoots and my front yard has a plum and a peach tree and we could all meet up here to forage in the summer... :)

Oh, and I have waaaaay too many books - I could run a library to give ppl something to read. and we could have cd collections on flash drives for safekeeping (ahem) that ppl could listen to... only in the library, of course, no burning personal copies... (ahem)

And I know how to make books and have a bunch of leather I got at garage sales to use to cover books.
And I can bake breads and cook tasty, tasty Belgian food (supposedly Napoleon's chef was Belgian...just think about it. )
And I have lots of stuff in my garage like all sorts of nails and who knows what else... never can tell...like that Belgian food...
And I have some firewood in stacks here. for a fire pit. when we decide to sacrifice the virgins.

[prolesunited]

68. I think you just need to come to our house

with your bushes. and also set up a rain barrel.

We were surveying the back yard and I said, "You know how much food we could produce here?" I will rid the yard of grass yet.

[RainDog]

71. sounds good to me!

I planted useful stuff in my yard. I even have a pair of pawpaw trees - the fruit is like custard inside i.e. midwestern "banana" tree. But mine are too young to bear fruit yet.

If I were you, I'd plant some fruit-bearing trees... dwarf size. I planted two asian pear trees, but the deer ate them down to the ground. Asian pears are great b/c you pick them and then they ripen (unlike typical pears) and they keep for up to 6 mos! My peach is late-bearing b/c I'm so far north, but it's already borne fruit after only a couple of years. Find a nursery in your area b/c you need something hardy. Even if you don't buy from them... tho I do b/c locally they replace trees, etc. if you keep your receipt and plant them correctly yet they still die.

As far as soft and hard stem propagation, etc... check out a copy of the American Horticultural Society's Plant Propagation. It's my version of Hustler.

and here's a little spring porn:

[LynzM]

23. Skills that may or may not be needed

I can run a database. I speak German, and some French, a little Spanish, and a little sign language. I listen well, and am good with kids. I enjoy solving problems. I can work damn hard when necessary, and I'm strong for my size. I give decent haircuts for women. Um... hrm. :shrug:

[Skittles]

29. I will kick your ass if you don't let me in n/t

[DarkTirade]

30. I like makin' stuff.

So far I've dabbled with home brewing, leatherwork (which of course involves some basic sewing), and I'm trying to learn how to shape and carve wood in various ways, Although I'm mostly only doing that because I want to get into instrument making.

Also I'm a computer geek and if you want to try and sell hand-made hippie crap online to the few people left who have money, I can help set up websites. :)

[DarkTirade]

85. Oh, and I forgot to mention the other big thing I do...

I'm a musician. So I can help keep people entertained. :)

[Duer 157099]

31. I'll read DU and tell you all what's happening here

cuz y'all are going to be hella busy it sounds like, what with all them skills.

[merh]

32. I know how to survive after loosing it all

I'm pretty determined and stubborn that way.

I know how to weather storms.

I can plug car tires and do some basic mechanics,

I can do minor plumbing repairs and wood finishing and gardening.

[laylah]

33. I can make a mean

fire in the woodstove! As well as cook, bake, make goat cheese, and garden :hi:

[trof]

34. Y'all are all a buncha communeists. However...

Since I guess we'll have to raise our own food...
And unless this is gonna be a vegan commune...
We'll need some beef cattle...
And then we'll need a cattle guard...
So...I volunteer to be the Cattle Guard.
(Do I get a uniform?)
;-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

35. I'll sustain the community by impregnating the fertile women.

:bounce:

[pokerfan]

50. I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there

A computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross section of necessary skills.

Naturally, they would breed prodigiously. There would be much time, and little to do. But with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within say, twenty years.

The abandonment of the so called monogamous sexual relationship, as far as men were concerned, would be a regrettable sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

[PeaceNikki]

75. She said make a case to be ACCEPTED, not REJECTED.

:eyes:

[Magrittes Pipe]

80. Silly PeaceNikki.

They all yearn for my seed.

[BarenakedLady]

36. I'm naked

and I do Pilates.

I garden too.

:P

[achtung_circus]

39. Simulaneously? nt

[BarenakedLady]

40. Hmmmm

That would be interesting. ;)

Downward facing dog...pull weeds.

It could work. :)

[achtung_circus]

42. Breath in, breath out, there you go. nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. I will make meal times incredibly tense and anxious, causing stomach disorders

and psychological harm to the commune.

[lizziegrace]

41. Good!

I needed to drop some weight. :P

;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

61. That will probably straighten my right out...

Perfect...

[Inchworm]

43. Being from Appalachia...

I know all the basic skills. I can use stuff that can be gathered in the woods to survive. I'm also a packrat, so if you need a button or a container for screws, I'm the man to see. :)

:hi:

[BarenakedLady]

52. Can you make some mash?

Or other potent alcoholic beverages from fruit you can drink out of a pickle jar?

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

60. Indeed I can

It would be more of a potent wine unless we can fashion some sort of still.

I'll build a fire too, so you can serenade the commune while we imbibe the necters.

:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

77. Stills aren't that hard to make.

You just gotta make sure you have nice clean parts, so you don't get any contamination getting all up in your brew with disease.

[underpants]

44. Looking at this long-run you are going to need to reproduce

and I am just the guy to have around for that

:evilgrin:

[DS1]

46. perimeter security

When you see a convoy of trucks, and one of them has a porta-potty on the back, you know they're freepers.

[BarenakedLady]

51. You have beautifully flowing hair.

Wookie?

[DS1]

66. Nappy

:)

[youthere]

47. I play a wicked air guitar.

and I chew with my mouth closed. I'm also incredibly hostile when drunk. Am I in?

[DarkTirade]

86. If it were up to me I'd say yes.

We always need someone to make us feel better about ourselves. :P

I keed, I keed.

[GreenPartyVoter]

48. I'm good with kids and have a degree in elementary education, in case you need to

start up a school.

[siligut]

49. You would want my big guy.

You may not want me, but you want my spooning partner and he goes where I go. He could stop a raging bull with one hand whilst programming your computer with the other, this, after he hunkered down your finances, pulled you out of the fray and moved all of your furniture, twice.

I do have my qualities, but no need to go into that.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

53. i will make the ladies happy. i can cook. speak 3 languages. irritating as hell.

probably will ruin your commune. never mind.

[Blue-Jay]

55. If you do it topless, you'll make the men happy too.

[BarenakedLady]

56. And some women too.

:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

57. ..

:thumbsup:

[Blue-Jay]

63. I like it when everyone is a winner.

[prolesunited]

69. So, what are you going to do

Besides look at her boobies allday?

[RainDog]

72. LOL!!! n/t

[DarkTirade]

76. ... what else IS there to do?

:shrug:


:P

[prolesunited]

81. Well, I know two people

who won't be on the list

(Unless you can confine your gazing to a set period and find more useful things to d do with the remaining time.)

[DarkTirade]

82. I am an excellent multi-tasker.

[RainDog]

58. are you kidding?

we need someone to organize parties and make sure there are lots of good things to eat and drink and music and a beautiful location... not to mention your analytical skills.

[Fran Kubelik]

102. So listen...

If proles won't take you in her commune, you're welcome to come to mine. :thumbsup:

:P

[Tuesday Afternoon]

54. green thumb. good aim.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

59. hey we should make a commune together. you be useful, i will be silly.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

65. sure, but I get Tuesday Afternoon's off !!

:D

[Wcross]

64. I can fix almost anything, I am a good gardener, I can raise livestock & butcher it.

I can cook well enough to survive, I am normally fairly quiet & have been told I am well mannered. As an added bonus, I don't fart much.

Unfortunately I own my own home on 15 acres of really good land so I will be remaining here to ride it out. I will be in good shape no matter what happens!

[hippywife]

113. It sounds to me like

the party is at your place, then! :rofl:

[Ikonoklast]

70. I can lift heavy things, and set them down again.

I can slaughter, skin and butcher livestock.
I can weld, braze, and have a working knowledge of basic machine tools.
I can read blueprints.
I can rebuild internal combustion engines, and power transmission systems.
I can shoot straight.
I have my own tools.

I am able to operate many different types of heavy equipment (excavator, backhoe, dozer, trencher). I have been responsible as a crew leader, and shop foreman.

I only drink on weekends, and am a terrible singer.

[siligut]

73. Thanks for the reminder!

I can shoot straight too. My big best buddy can’t shoot, but he has me, so it works out.

[Mojambo]

74. I've got a killer pornography collection. n/t

[ellisonz]

78. And I'll mooch your pornography! n/t

[Critters2]

79. I'm a professional rabble rouser

If you need your rabble roused--and who doesn't, on occasion?--I'm your gal!

[Iris]

83. I'm a good organizer of groups.

And I can knit.

[EstimatedProphet]

84. I can raise fish, I know how to distill, I can make beer/wine

I can garden too.

[RainDog]

115. You mean like commercial fishing?

Cause I love to make blackened tilapia... my fav. fresh water fish. I saw that ppl are raising them in something like swimming pools with covers for cold weather. Is that in-fish-mane? Only fish I've ever had for pets were betas for my kids.

[SOteric]

87. I know how to build and operate a still, I can make soap from

raw materials, I know how to cook like nobody's business (and that includes knowing how to gut and dress out animals, how to make cheese from essential elements, and how to make my own pasta), and can design and build a solar oven with a few household goods. I can also make paper and I garden pretty well. Sadly, I'm kind of a delicate flower physically and require a fair amount of medical attention.

[DS1]

89. there can be early morning commando pharmacy raids

:*

[SOteric]

90. *LOL*

You'll be my official 'body' guard.

[conscious evolution]

88. Already in one

[prolesunited]

91. Very cool

Care to share your experiences?

[conscious evolution]

97. It is always interesting

There are fourteen people,nine dogs,four cats,chickens and an emu.Our place is only a couple of miles from downtown Atlanta.(the tornadoes passed half a mile away.)We are set up a little differantly then communes in the country in that most of us work normal jobs in addition to the work involved in keeping our place running.We also have to deal with the normal headaches found when living in the city that every else has to deal with.(taxes,crime,etc..)

Two things that make a commune successful:Everyone must pitch in and everyone has to look at it as a big happy family.
Nothing can wreck an intentional community like having people who won't pull their fair share of the workload involved in running a large household.Lazy people give rise to resentment amongst those who get stuck carrying the load.
Group cohesion is also important.Lack of cohesion can create factions and the intendent frictions that go with it.

[Connonym]

92. Has it been decided where we will be communing?

I need to know how to pack.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

93. Hey, I'm starting one too!!! How fashionable!!

I want creative folks with other skills at mine. Especially you who know several languages, as I would like to get fluent in two or three.

Some of you are quite arty.

I can cook, sew, knit, crochet, garden, paint, play the piano, sing, write music and play the violin. I can also make jewelry (the bead stringing kind) and do lost wax casting and enameling (jewelry also). We can grow food, can and freeze food.

If the OP's commune is too far away you can show up at mine!

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[laconicsax]

94. Before I apply, I need to know a couple things.

What's the starting pay?  How generous is the benefits package?  What opportunities for advancement are there?

I'm a multi-instrumentalist.  That has to count for something.

[prolesunited]

98. Pay? Benefits?

You must be confused.

We're going to put the commie in commune. ;-)

[laconicsax]

99. Oh, THAT kind of commune.

As long as I don't have to worry about being burned as a heretic, sign me up.  I can cook pretty well and can say the alphabet backwards.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

111. Excellent.

We have quite a few musical instruments and can record music (either digital live or MIDI) and burn CDs.

I even have a cheesy Hammond A-100 (just like a B-3, only with built-in speakers) for that cheesy 60s rock sound!!! My grandmother bought it in '64, because that's what little old ladies in small towns do - they join the Organ Club.

[RainDog]

114. Hammond B-threes rock

don't go talking smack about the b-3. What would Dylan's Rolling Stone be without that organ?

[Blue-Jay]

117. I love you more than usual because you know what a B3 is.

That's awesome! (I'm serious)

[RainDog]

119. hey hunny bunny

is proles around... ;)

(j/k, really, ms proles)

go to the random photo thread and check out a pic from The Cotton Club, St. Louis - 1920s.

pssst... I'll meet you on the dark end of the street.

[Blue-Jay]

120. I saw that thread. Cool picture.

That said, chicks don't have the proper "equipment" to play the tenor sax.

(runs and hides)

Proles should be home soon. I'll tell her that you said "hi".

[RainDog]

121. what "equipment" do you need?

if you mean the skills to make it wail, don't go forgetting the sisters.

When I managed a dorm library, I also did all the collection development, and then.... amazingly, some of those things ended up in my iTunes... don't know how that happened! But I now have a good sampling of Lester Young. It was the "alternative" dorm, so when I finally got access to some user data, I found out that the cd with the most circ. was Black Pearls. Loved those students. They didn't have any Ornette Coleman, which surprised me, but before I left they did..okay, not tenor.

my favorites, tho, tend to things like Blues To Elvin, or the sax on Tom Waits' Alice... I'm not very avant garde. There were twin bros. here for a while. -I think they moved to Chicago. Name Rashaan and Roland. If they're around, I bet you'd like them.

And you know, I can't live in a commune without jazz and blues.

[BlueDissenter]

95. Let's see.......

I'm pretty good at alphabetizing, making sarcastic comments about others and baking. Though I shouldn't be allowed near any vehicle for everyone's safety.

[puerco-bellies]

96. I'm a silversmith.

Eventually a bourgeoisie class will arise and you will need me.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

104. Cool!! You know about Oneida don't you?

Oneida was a commune started in the 1840s in Oneida, New York.
They started making silver.
That's why it's called "Community Plate".

Amana, Iowa started as a commune too.

Do you answer to "Paul Revere"??

[puerco-bellies]

109. Wikipedia is a wonderful thing.

And no, I don't answer to P R

[bikebloke]

100. I know a real funny Brazillion joke.

But I'll save it for commune holidays.

Otherwise, I spent 4 four years working on a kibbutz and moshav.

[Fran Kubelik]

103. I can cook and take care of the chilluns.

:hi:

[MonkeyFunk]

105. With the proper training

I can leave the toilet seat down at least 88% of the time.

[gorenobel]

106. Im a photographer

Not sure how exactly would help during rough economic times, hehe.

[Thirtieschild]

107. I can be the communal astrologer

Also cook, quilt, listen.

[martymar64]

108. I have a mean left hook

Anyone step out of line and BAM!!!

[Jamastiene]

110. Electrical, electronics, computers and nudity.

I hate clothes, so I only need to be housed and fed. I'll wear clothes if I am made to, but I'd rather be nekked and working on some electronics or nekked and doing something really fun. :evilgrin:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

112. I'm still trying to figure out what my skills are.

I know that I'd be good in a R&D type job, but I don't know what I could do with that in a commune situation. When I figure out my purpose in life, I'll let you know. But right now, I can play guitar and smoke weed :), as well as do most anything you put in front of me as long as there is a definite goal or instructions.

[Redstone]

116. Thanks, but no thanks. I have a business to run.

Redstone

[PassingFair]

118. I can sell everyone cell phone plans!

:sarcasm:

[RainDog]

122. LOL!

we'll have to have a store to sell stuff the artisans make for when we want to take field trips.

[stuntcat]

123. I'll help DJ too!!

(in addition to the gardening) I have hundreds of records and some turntables :headbang:

[Serial Mom]

124. I almost joined one in 1972