I'm scared shitless and need some lounge vibes

[lightningandsnow]

Alright, so my mom wants me to get "asessed" for autism. Which, although I've been told by a few people that I probably have asperger's, I was hoping to hold off on until I was out of the house (the official stuff, that is). It's weird, because I never said anything to her.

Except, I'm kind of freaked because the team doing the testing are from a residential treatment centre for adolescents... I know it's a little irrational, but I'm scared shitless that I'm actually going to be, like, committed to the treatment centre because of all the other emotional stuff I have going on. It's actually, like, a huge phobia I have.

I hate that I keep posting stuff like this... but can I have some vibes/hugs/whatever?

Thanks.

[mainegreen]

1. Sure,

but I'm sure you'll be fine.

:grouphug:

[Dora]

2. Yes.

:hug:

[Deep13]

3. How old are you?

The thing is, if you are somewhere on the autism spectrum, the result is the same: no treatment exists. The only thing you can do is learn to cope with it. Consequently there is no reason to put yourself in a position where insurance might be difficult to get in the future because you have actually been diagnosed. That eliminates plausible deniability.

If you are 18 or soon will be, I would probably refuse to go.

[MrsBrady]

5. i think she's canadian??? n/t

[lightningandsnow]

7. Yes I am.

I might be going to the US for university, though.

[Deep13]

9. In that case, you may as well go. nt

[siligut]

4. Hugs, it will be ok.

I don’t know you that well, but some people are able to identify the signs and symptoms of autism/Aspergers. Maybe your mom has been doing some reading. Act cooperative and polite during the assessment; don’t tell them the emotional stuff.

A diagnosis is not a life sentence and there are meds that can help as I think you may know from the aspie forum. Being scared will only add to the paranoia, maybe go get some exercise and here is a hug.:hug:

[TZ]

6. Hugs to you

If you do get classified with autism, it shouldn't make a difference. Its obvious from your witty and intelligent posts that even if you are, you are highly functioning. There are a lot of people who post here that are austistic or Aspies. I think it will be okay... I'm sorry your life has been so difficult for with. Wish I could meet you IRL. Despite your fears, you seem like you are a smart and nice person.:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

8. Thinking of you.

:hug:

[SKKY]

10. You'll be fine sunshine...

...they can only scare you as much as you let them. Remember that. :hug:

[Parche]

11. you will always get big hugs from me!!!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

:hi:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

12. Here come the unconditional hugs and "discernment" vibes...

...what's a "discernment" vibe?

A vibe that allows you to put the pieces together and make the right decision, the one that will be best for all.

"Ask and you shall receive."

:grouphug:

[abq e streeter]

13. I've read enough of your posts to recognize your intelligence

and that will be a wonderful asset forever. I have no advice but just a sincere wish for your happiness and well-being.

[Sugar Smack]

14. Hey, girl-

I feel for you. The worst part is waiting and not knowing, because you're probably feeling trapped in a box like an animal at this point. Whatever happens, I think being absolutely true to yourself is your main concern. You could keep a private notebook for nobody's eyes but your own.

I know you're scared. From everything I've seen of you, you're a beautiful and capable young woman. You have a rich imagination, you have energy, and you have integrity. I wish you all the best. I'll be thinking about you.

Here's your hug, my friend---> :hug:

[LeftyMom]

15. I hate to be suspicous

But is she pushing for a diagnosis in order to get some advantage in your parents' divorce (more support money or a way to get your desire to live with your dad ignored?)

[lightningandsnow]

21. That would fucking suck.

I have no idea why she wants to do this. But that would suck if that actually ended up being a factor in the custody thing - as my IQ is above average, I'm pretty capable of making my own decisions, and I'm pretty independent (I can cook yummy vegetarian food... and do laundry).

[fight4my3sons]

16. Is it because they

were the first available team to do the assessment? Were there other choices?

My husband works at a residential treatment center for ED adolescents. Sometimes the treatment team there does assessments for individuals that do not reside there.

Huge :hug: and positive vibes and whatever else you need coming your way.

[KamaAina]

17. That doesn't sound right at all

in addition to being an autie/Aspie myself, I worked in the field for many years. I even presented at an international autism conference in T.O., way back in '92! I sure never heard of anyone getting a diagnosis from someplace like that.

The real experts in autism in T.O. are at the Geneva Centre for Autism. If they don't do this sort of assessment, they'd certainly know who does.

http://www.autism.net or [phone].

Here's a teen-specific page:

http://www.autism.net/content/blogcategory/134/245

complete with someone who wants to be PM when he grows up! Couldn't possibly be any worse than Harper...

[lightningandsnow]

20. hmm.

Well, I checked on the treatment centre's website, and apparently, they don't just do resedential treatment (which is a bit of a relief).

Maybe I should tell my mom about the Geneva Centre? Their website looks great.

[KamaAina]

22. Absolutely. They're quite well-respected.

As soon as I saw this, I thought, "Wait a minute. Isn't there a really good autism centre up there?" A few seconds with teh Google later, there I was.

When I worked at Yale Child Study, we collaborated with a Cdn researcher named Byron Rourke, at Windsor (he has since retired). He did lots of research in to Asperger's, or as he calls it, "nonverbal learning disability" (NLD).

[laylah]

18. For YOUR own peace of mind

take care of it now. No shame, just progress. :hug:

[Chovexani]

19. Aww. Some good mojo to you.

:hug:

[RainDog]

23. simply tell your mother that fear

...without accusation.

if you're not okay with her answer, at an evaluation, in the presence of your mother, tell the evaluators that you are uncomfortable because the test is at that facility (for the reason you mentioned.) Tell them you want to be reassured, to hear that they are not going to put you into a facility if you go there for this test.

Your mom and dad are both informed, I assume. Some treatment centers can be aggressive about trying to encourage in-treatment when it's not needed - but only if someone has really good insurance. a place like that nearby closed down... so places like that don't last... but I wanted to also acknowledge what might be a source of fear. I don't think this is your situation, but if you're uncomfortable, you could ask your mom to check around with other drs. etc, to see if this place has had any complaints. I doubt that will be the case, but if it makes you feel better to have some tactics to deal with your concern - that's another one you can do.

AspieGrrl- my son was dx'd with aspergers when he was 8 years old. a therapist did it in her office, but she's also a specialist in aspergers (and has a son with asperger's syndrome too.) There was never any thought of him going into a residential facility. As you and others know on this site, Aspergers is just not "neurotypical" - but, as far as I know, there are no meds that will change that. My son has never been on medication, but at one time he considered it himself. Didn't do it, tho.

As far as other emotional issues... if I remember correctly, you said recently that your parents split up. ANYONE would find that stressful and emotionally difficult... lots of different emotions. So, the people who are doing an evaluation would realize your situation is stress-inducing.

If you don't already do it, I would suggest that you take a daily b-vit. complex (time-released) and 900m of essential fatty acids - omega 3 is most important, and a daily magnesium, calcium and zinc supplement. Studies have reported that some people respond really well to EFAs and calcium/mag, and the B is good for stress. No one in any study who is an aspie has ever had a negative reaction to these supplements. Because of some differences in digestive tracts among aspies, sometimes these minerals, etc. need to be supplemented.

From the person that I know as you online, you are a wonderfully thoughtful person, a beautiful young woman, interesting and interested in the world... and a boost to many - I still remember the poem you posted about someone loving you. that's a beautiful message. Do you ever do yogic breathing? Just deep and slow breathing, really. but it's a good way to calm your mind, esp. if you can use a word to get the fears out of your mind for a moment. ...why not try something like "yes" instead of om? the purpose of that word is to keep your mind from talking to itself.

I'm here (too often recently) if you wanna talk.

[lightningandsnow]

26. Thank you!

Thanks for the support and encouragement.

Interesting, about the nutritional supplements - I do have some minor digestive issues (my body basically rejects overly fatty foods, I think) - perhaps I'll try them.

Again, thank you!

:hug:

[RainDog]

32. link to power pts/htmls

there was a report on bbc about EFAs - that was a few years ago. can't find the link.

in about 7000 pt font... from U. Arizona work-

Vitamin B6 and Magnesium

* Over 20 studies, including 11 double-blind, placebo-controlled studies, found that high dose vitamin B6 (8 mg/pound bodyweight) with Magnesium (3-4 mg/pound bodyweight) resulted in wide range of behavioral improvements
* Only 2 negative studies: one with very few subjects, and one with half dose
* Overall, very safe, and helps 50% of children and adults.

...and lots more info.

I didn't check to see if these were dupes...from the same guy.

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:xRnfdJUvkJYJ:www.autismone.org/uploads/2007/James%2520Adams%2520AO%25202007%2520presentation%2520Nutrition.ppt+autism+and+calcium+and+EFAs&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=10&gl=us&client=firefox-a

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:pwhaAJLEpbAJ:www.eas.asu.edu/~autism/Research/Nutritional.ppt+autism+and+calcium+and+EFAs&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=6&gl=us&client=firefox-a

[RadiationTherapy]

36. I second the nutritional info above; very good choices.

[Blue Diadem]

24. Sending you hugs.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

25. Hugs by the bushel

:hug: :hug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Madrone]

27. Think positive.

If she makes you go and you are officially diagnosed with *something* (more likely asperger's from what I know of you) then when your mom's being ...well... your mom... you can point and cry that she's taking unfair advantage of you and your "disability". ;) Maybe that will short-circuit the "bitch mode" for you. Of course - since she doesn't sound totally unlike my OWN mother it's also possible that that may only make it more FUN for her to fuck with you.

*sigh* Bitch mothers ... they do add a whole 'nother layer of difficulty over life, don't they?

[GreenPartyVoter]

28. *hugs and good karma* Talk it out with mom and see whatthe whole story is. Let her

know what you are feeling about it all.

[BreweryYardRat]

29. Control freak parents are the worst.

:hug:

If I were you, I'd seriously consider LeftyMom's comment about mother dearest doing this to try and keep your dad from getting custody. I'd put good money on that being the reason for this assessment. Maybe mention that to the therapist who interviews you -- assuming they'll actually listen to you.

And take the suggestion about going to the other autism center! They'll probably treat you better -- anyplace/anyone she picked out in advance is probably going to take her side in the diagnosis.

[HEyHEY]

30. Hey, Aspie. Some advice

I lived for years with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I knew something was wrong but was too scared to find out for sure. After I finally got the guts to go to the Doctor and was diagnose, my life improve dramtically. So, good luck!

[soleft]

31. Best wishes and vibes for you

:hug:

[otherlander]

33. Lots and lots of hugs and vibes to you, AspieGrrl.

You gotta watch out for these bastards, there's a lot of rotten bastards in hospitals, who've convinced themselves that "normal" is the best of all possible ways of being, deluded themselves into thinking that they know what is best for you and determined that you will get it whether you want it or not, who care more about "socially acceptable" than true well-ness, who think that drugs are the answer to everything and the autonomy of the individual isn't worth dirt. But you're smart, you'll outwit them at every turn, don't be taken in by their bullshit, don't tell them anything more than you have to. If they wind up hating you, take it as a mark of pride.

Have you seen this website? Another DU'er introduced me to this website:
http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/
and I love it, because it's not about "coping"- the hospital bastards love to talk about coping- it's about actually FIGHTING BACK.
Stay free and stay proud. :hug: :patriot:

[hunter]

39. Fighting who? It is much less stressful to ignore the "bastards" among them.

"Coping" and its nasty sister "Tolerance" are BS to me. Acceptance and Practicality are what I seek.

I haven't always been functional in my life. When I was young diagnoses of Aspergers or High Functioning Autistic were simply not on the table. I was very obviously some kind of crazy, and most theories of why I was crazy were far crazier than I ever was.

Modern diagnoses do have some utility -- if you have to get a new therapist or doctor then having a diagnosis gets them up to speed a little quicker. Maybe. At the very least it helps you dump inappropriate therapy and therapists quicker when either they don't know what you are talking about, or they insist on taking you back down roads you know by your own hard won experience are dead ends.

Sometimes I can't see because I simply can't see. It's not because I don't want to see. I seem to be lacking the intuitive grasp of certain social interactions that other people take for granted. My mental state sometimes breaks free of my actual situation. Having a formal diagnosis and some helpful prescriptions in my pocket I don't really have to dig through all the useless crap in my attic yet again to explain myself to anyone.

[otherlander]

43. Sometimes the bastards are more ignorable than other times.

Like when they overanalyze your every move and try to change things about you that you don't want changed, so you leave and get a new therapist, then they're ignorable. But when you're locked in a confined space with them and they restrain and drug you for trying to intervene when they're obviously terrifying the little kid with down syndrome, well, maybe then not so much, eh? Love your sig line, btw. One of my favorite songs.

[hunter]

44. It's been my very good fortune to have people looking out for me...

... whenever I've been at my very worst. I don't exactly know how I did it, but as a young man I learned to cultivate relationships with people I could trust -- probably after a few relationships with people I couldn't trust.

[lightningandsnow]

41. I've seen that blog!

It's amazing. Thanks for the encouragement!

[Pushed To The Left]

34. Sending good vibes and hugs

:hug:

[Connonym]

35. Lots and lots of good vibes coming your way

Maybe it will be a good thing and you won't go to the treatment center but perhaps be able to get some counseling as a result. My best wishes and :hug:

[I Have A Dream]

37. Good vibes and hugs are coming your way.

:hug::hug::hug:

[Callalily]

38. Sending hugs

and moral support. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[applegrove]

40. (((HUGS))).

[DarkTirade]

42. Ooh, free hugs over here!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7578879">Free hugs!

[Brewman_Jax]

45. Good thoughts to you

from me and the cat.