Re: the last few days and why I got upset...and a big Thank You

[TZ]

First I want to thank all the people who PM'd me with support and advice. I know I didn't answer them all but I did appreciate them. There are so very kind and smart and funny people here which is one of the reasons why I will stay.
But I want to explain just WHY my feelings were really hurt by what happened. First of all, I am a pretty sensitive person in real life. And before anyone says then why are you posting, I can say if you read my posts in other forums you know that I am thick skinned enough to deal with most of the internet nonsense. But I come here to relax and play with friends, and to be treated so nastily, was a shock that upset me completely.

I don't think I "dumb down" this site, in fact I'm willing to bet that most of the people in the Lounge who have me on ignore have never read my journal or anything I've posted elsewhere.
And as for not being intellectual enough: Let me fill you guys in on a few facts. One of my grandfather was a talented painter, the other one a published writer (and ghost writer) and professional speaker. My mother is a retired English teacher so I'm well read and have gone to multiple plays and happen to love watching Shakespeare.
My family also has strong ties to the Dem Party. My aunt is a VP of a small lobbying firm who worked in the Carter WH. Had Gore actually been President, she would have been congressional liason to the WH.
I myself have a pretty long and impressive scientific resume including working with one of the premiere medical researchers in the WORLD (who if not a genius was damn well close to it). I've had data published in one of the most prestigious scientific journals in the world.
I also have a website devoted to science:

http://eurekasci.16.forumer.com/index.php

Which doesn't get a lot of traffic but is a good reference for scientific articles..Including a Vaccine pamphlet I wrote specifically for DU to help inform.
So while I might have what some consider, "juvenile" humor...and I actually DO try to be funny when I post copycats or whatever. I do have issues with people who think I help dumb down this site.
Finally for those who think that because MORE people think copycats are unfunny they should be banished or done away with..I will say that when I worked at NIH the majority of two factions there were incompetant, dishonest and lazy people who because of numbers and connections forced me and my boss out. So just because someone has a majority opinion, does not mean they have the right to impose their opinion on everyone.
Again, this post is not meant to insult anyone, but simply to explain where I am coming from on this issue. Sorry this is so long.
Susan

[Bunny]

1. You know, I've always liked you. But seriously, I can't figure out

why you took that thread so very personally. The OP did not call *you* out, after all. Granted, it got ugly as the thread progressed, but the initial post didn't name names, as far as I could tell. You and a few others seemed to automatically assume that it was about you, and things went downhill from there.

Any ideas as to why it hit home with you (and a couple others) in such a big way?

[TZ]

15. Because the implication was

that the lounge was better in the "old days" and that us newbies (and I've only been here over a year, so I qualify) were "ruining" the place and that *we* were the reason that "good people left".
Can you see how that might piss off a lot of people?
Oh and that people who do copycatting arn't trying to be funny or trying to hard to be funny and it felt like an attack. Anyone who didn't agree with the posters sense of humor was not funny.
Don't know if thats what the OP meant, but thats how it came off to me and a lot of other people.
As I said, I'm used to that kind of shit elsewhere, but not here.

[Bunny]

22. Well, I'm an old-timer and I do think the Lounge was a little better in those days.

That does not mean that the Lounge isn't still pretty good, however. I've always enjoyed your posts, you and some of the other folks here are pretty damn funny. One day I laughed until I nearly peed my pants when someone posted this: "Check in here if you dance like a douchebag". It struck me at the time as one of the goofiest, "Lounge-iest" subject lines ever. Lots of good stuff still comes out of the Lounge.

Having said that, I do share the other poster's opinion that a lot of the copycat stuff is painfully unfunny, and it gets pretty irritating to see the front page of the Lounge spammed with idiotic, one-word "copycats". There really is no attempt to be funny in those, just keyboard diarrhea, IMO. Other copycats can be very funny, when they are played right, so I'm not anti-copycat, FWIW.

BTW, as johnnie mentioned elsewhere in this thread, the OP of that other thread really is a pretty good guy. He was uncharacteristically harsh to some folks the other night, and it surprised me because I've always known him to be pretty warm and open with everyone. I'm not sure what was going on there.

Anyway, carry on with the laughter, please, and try not to let it get you down. :hi:

[johnnie]

2. Seriously, you are taking this place too seriously. :)

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about defending yourself here in the lounge. It isn't worth the trouble and chances are most people here are fine with you posting and the ones who aren't are probably just crabby people anyway.

Just try to remember that it is just another forum of millions on the internets and it's not as important as you (and some others) think. I'm not trying to sound like a dick, just trying to help.

And the OP from the thread you are probably talking about is a pretty decent dude..really.

[LeftyFingerPop]

3. Susan...

You do not have to justify your existence here.

It matters not your intellectual capabilities, your posting abilities, your posting content, etc.

We all have a right to be here, and we all have a right to be treated with respect.

"Dumbing down the lounge"...holy shit what I could say about that. I have been lurking and posting here for a LONG time, and this place has always been a train wreck.

I don't know if you have read any of my posts before, but several people here are constantly calling me things like "self-righteous asshole" for defending people who are ganged up on here. So be it...I have certain ways that I feel about things, and I do not think a rational person who does not have their eyes glued to their monitor every waking moment would criticize me for standing up against gang attacks.

You were attacked by several people at once. When that happens, it is almost impossible to hold your own in a disagreement.

A lot of the "old timers" here feel they have more of a say in the way the lounge is "run". Just ignore that shit, be yourself, continue posting, and apologize to no one....because you hurt no one.

[Dr. Strange]

4. STFU Minderass!

:loveya:
You rock, and don't even think about changing. Here, let me play a tune just for you:

[quip]

8. You need a hug

[Sock Puppet]

10. oh, overweight women are so funny

:eyes:

[quip]

11. She is the nekkid piano player's wife

[GreenPartyVoter]

23. No wonder people always laugh when I'm around....

[youthere]

5. You know what's REALLY funny?

I remember people getting chewed out for being "too serious" in the lounge. Don't let it bother you. The humor nazis show up every six months or so and take a giant dump. The smell usually goes away after a few days and everyone goes back to playing nice. Copycats will ALWAYS be a part of the lounge. It's tradition...and no one is going to change that by threatening to take their crayons and go home.
Post on...Copycatter.

[xchrom]

6. i didn't see the dog-pile -- but--

:loveya: :hug: -- but hopefully you already knew that.

[Haole Girl]

7. One of the biggest mistakes I made at DU is trying to "fit in"...

Isn't it amazing...the way we sometimes allow a simple message board to result in so much pain? I'm constantly amazed.

I've shut down my PM's again... to protect myself. Maybe it would work for you... I don't know.

Hugs for you... :hug: :hug: :hug:

p.s., I'm sorry I started the thread about wanting to limit the number of threads a person can start in one day. Believe me when I say it wasn't only aimed at you. :hug:

[quip]

9. ...

:hug: :pals:

[Sock Puppet]

12. Please reconsider taking this all so personally

I would be surprised if one single person who posts on DU doubted your intelligence.

[SarahB]

13. Take a deep breath just be ok with yourself.

I have been around this place for 5 &1/2 years (I changed my name 4 years ago). In the course of these years on DU, I've gone through a divorce, had a "failed" (well, complex anyway) relationship with another DUer (whom I now consider a good friend), some other near misses in terms of relationships, made a handful of close friends, was stalked and posted about by an ex-DUer repeatedly on a conservative site, went through over a year of being banned for being an idiot and posting stupid shit under a sockpuppet, made an utter ass of myself on hundreds of occasions, and for chrissakes even met my husband initially here (Finnfan and I were friends for a couple of years and were geographically close enough to begin dating IRL shortly after we expressed a mutual interest) and our whole initial relationship was a public drama in of itself.

DU and the relationships with some of the people honestly changed my life. In the end though, it's a public website. Not everyone is going to like me or think I'm cool, charming, or whatever. That's ok. The people who matter to me do (usually ;)) and I have learned to take it all with one big grain of salt. :hug:

[merh]

14. Don't let the critics bother you

or the lounge nonsense. Post for yourself and your friends and f*ck the rest of 'em.

Sometimes it feels as if the lounge drama gives some folks a reason for feeling, sometimes its like some folks are cutters, crap here helps 'em ignore their real world woes -

Just post as you like, if folks bug you or start their nonsense, put them on ignore and go on. Hide a thread is also wonderful.

[theredpen]

16. I have you on ignore.

Oh wait. No I don't.

Sorry I missed whatever it is you're talking about. I was in GD-P. Pity me.

[youthere]

19. There wasn't a lot of difference between GD-P and the Lounge yesterday.

[theredpen]

20. Ouch

Well maybe I was better off in GDP. I have a lot of GDP posters on ignore... no so much in the Lounge.

[EstimatedProphet]

17. I haven't been involved in much of this

But let me just ask one question: why does it matter? This isn't real. If people here don't think you're "intellectual enough" (which wasn't the criticism, really) well, so?

Really. Take a deep breath. Your life has enough to be proud of without worrying about what people put on discussion boards.

For the record, I need to take that advice myself.

[NJmaverick]

18. What asshat suggested you "dumbed down" the lounge?

That has to be one of the dumbest comments that could have been made (which I guess would mean if anyone is "dumbing down" the forum it would be him/her).

[Richard Steele]

21. Seems that I've missed some DRAMA.

I don't know what you're referring to with this post,
but I just thought I'd chime in to offer you some general support.

You are "good people" turtlensue; it's just that simple.

I don't agree with you on every issue- never have, probably never will.

But you've always posted with HONESTY and INTEGRITY.
That's way more important to me than the specific issues
we don't see eye-to-eye upon.

You are "Good People" turtlensue; one of my favorite DUers.
Anyone who has a problem with you, has a problem with me.

[GreenPartyVoter]

24. I think you are great

:hug:

[ForrestGump]

25. I'm seeing a lot of whiny and snide crap

being posted here (in the Lounge, I mean, not in this thread) by a fairly predictable group of posters, basically the few I placed on ignore because they're -- by no great coincidence -- the very same culprits I referred to in my post, and it's only making the place more of a downer than it already was. That's even more so because the intent of all these passive-aggressive and not-so-subtle attack threads, to rail against me and people who feel at least somewhat the same way about what's been going on here, is pathetically transparent.

So, in reference to this thread, let me just say:

i) I never said that you "dumb down" this site, or that you are not intellectual enough. I never said that about anybody and, as has been pointed out here and elsewhere, I was never directly referring to you in the first place -- you just assumed I was.

ii) if you read what I wrote, you'll see that I'm not coming down on copycats, in general, just the really inane and pointless ones (as brilliantly sampled by DS1). I've written tons of copycat threads in my time, and even in my worst I think you'd find there's a fundamental difference between them (and the copycats of a great many others, prior to the past year or so) and the waste of electrons and bandwidth that these days infests the Lounge. Also, my diatribe about copycats was almost an afterthought in my original post...it's not the prime thing that peeved me.

iii) I, for one, am never impressed by lists of attributes, or relationships, intended to show how 'intellectual' a person is. For one thing, I know too many people who are well educated, academically, but basically clueless when it comes to common sense and other uncommon traits that, to me, are more relevant to living in this world. Also, scientists are generally not known and widely admired for their facility with nonspecialist communication or with humor. I know this pretty well in that I am a scientist.

I'm not going to rebut any of these nyah-nyah, jab-jab indignant threads that've been inspired by mine, that now pollute the Lounge like a spill of used Pampers, because I have neither the time nor the inclination. Y'all need to take some advice that was directed at me in my thread: get over yourselves.

[madinmaryland]

26. ..

Well, this might require some..

:popcorn:

:hi:

[KamaAina]

27. Oh darn. I knew I picked the wrong day to do legislative advocacy

at our state Capitol! I should've stayed in teh cubicle so's I could've fired back with a few well-placed copycats, and possibly the timeless classic photo of a gray tabby giving the finger.

Instead I spent the whole day chatting up legislators about developmental disabilities issues 'n' stuff. :eyes:

[LSK]

28. the lounge has always flared up into some nasty flame war every few months or so

Just don't pay much attention to it and you will be better off.