Opinions wanted.

[npincus]

OK, in a nutshell: a friend of mine feels she may be losing her job, so has started looking around for another one. Her 5-year old and my 5 year-old are best friends, and consequently we've gotten to know her and her husband and we're all friendly. Anyway, this friend had emailed me yesterday to ask if she could put me down a a reference. I didn't get back to her until today, and said "sure". She then informed me that she had already put me down as a "friend/co-worker". I am not sure with what company or companies.

Anyway, I feel kind of miffed; I am hapy to be a character reference, but when it comes to the co-worker (fabrication) part, am not comfortable. We're not in the same fields, I don't have a copy of her resume-what if someone calls me and starts asking a lot of (specific) questions about the kind of stuff she did, who what when where... I emailed her back and said I was happy to refer her character but am not so comfortable with the other part.

Your opinion?

**on edit: UPDATE: she just emailed me back and apologized. She said she only put me down for the head hunter interview, so far. Said she didn't mean to upset me.

[skygazer]

1. Double post

Tried to fix a typo and it all went to hell. :P

[skygazer]

2. She overstepped big time

I hate it when people put you in a position in which there's the potential that you have to lie for them. On the one hand, I've never known any company that checked references all that diligently but I would be pissed if someone did that to me.

Frankly I would tell her that if anyone called wanting to know about her character, I would now have to say, "She's a liar." :shrug:

[npincus]

4. and furthermore...

through a connection of mine (nice neighbor) she has one job interview set up... I will be pretty galled if she has me down as a co-worker, because that one could be easily exposed.

[Raven]

3. I think you did just the right thing by emailing her back and

telling her what you're comfortable doing. You won't need her resume if you are going to limit yourself to a personal reference.

[Inchworm]

5. friend/co-worker?

You can say friend easily enough on the phone if asked. Just be honest and those calls are easy peasy.

:hi:

[npincus]

6. thanks!

:hi: I'm a bit of a straight-arrow, a very bad liar, don't like to lie. Every time I tell a whopper, it comes bc to m a thousand times worse!