LinkI laughed for a good five minutes. Is that bad?
The blood.DAVENPORT, IA—In what eyewitnesses described as some kind of terrible dream come true, a warm and viscous liquid identified only as blood…dear God, blood…spilled forth from every conceivable direction Monday.
According to sources still able to speak, the blood first appeared shortly before dawn, horrifying dozens of citizens stirred awake by its ceaseless dripping. While many details remain unclear, including why, why won't it stop and is that…are those…Jesus Christ look, the situation has by all accounts only worsened with time.
"It's everywhere," said area resident Phillip Reynolds, who claimed he never knew such cold and unrelenting fear. "The blood is everywhere."
Accompanied by an odor at once familiar and yet strangely foreign, the blood has reportedly begun to flow from the walls, the floors, and, in several isolated incidents, has emerged from a child's sandbox. In addition, no, no, oh, no…what happened to all the lights?
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:rofl: