I just found out a friend of mine died, and I don't know how...

[Mezzo]

I was paging through my hometown newspaper and I saw a friend of mine's name in it. I got out my phone to call her, I see her at the gym all the time. I left a message that said, "Jess, you're never gonna believe this, but someone with the same name as you is listed in our local paper this week. Call me when you can girl, bye".

Then I went to the message board for the obit on the bigger newspaper, and it IS my friend. Neither obit says how she died. I am shocked, saddened, and kinda freaking out right now. I don't have her parent's number anymore...I don't wanna trouble them anyway really. :shrug:


:cry: :cry: :cry:

[tekisui]

1. I wish you comfort.

In time, I am sure you'll find the details, in the meantime, peace to you.

:grouphug:

[Mezzo]

7. thank you so much for your kind words.

they mean a lot to me right now.

[mikita]

2. I'm so sorry

putting myself in your shoes, I'd be in shock too.

Hugs to you.

[Mezzo]

8. I am indeed in shock...

and realized through this what an emotional eater I am. I think I'm going to take a "mental health day" and jus veg out today. I didn't sleep all that well last night.

[KamaAina]

3. Join the club

I logged on to my go-to blog last week only to see "This is the last post" written by his widow.

http://ashleymorris.typepad.com/ashley_morris_the_blog/2008/04/this-is-the-las.html

Obit in the N.O. "cat box liner" only says he died in his sleep. Can you call someone a "friend" who you met (in meatspace) once at a party? :cry:

http://www.rememberashleymorris.com

[Mezzo]

9. looks like the dues are a bit high...

and of course you can call him a friend. If you wanna see a piccie pf Jess, click on the 'view the photo album' icon on the right hand side.

http://www.legacy.com/BaltimoreSun/GB/GuestbookIndex.aspx?PersonID=106987296

Here is the original obit, I am so sad.
http://www.dundalkeagle.com/articles/2008/04/10/obits/harvey.txt

[Mezzo]

12. if you do 'click on the photo album' the very first pic is classic Jess.

She was beautiful...inside and out.

[KamaAina]

17. Oh, Bawlmer! My original home town.

Dad's obit and pic turned up on that very same site last Feb. Not like anyone notified me or anything, nor did the notice include "survived by a son, KamaAina of Honolulu, HI" or anything like that. He and Mom had been divorced since I was 4; I last saw the man in 1971.

When I didn't get my usual birthday card last Aug., Mom mused that he might have passed away. So I searched the Sun, and bingo.

[Mezzo]

22. Oh my goodness KamaAina, how horrible!

I'd send someone on his side of the family a good piece of my mind. (But that's only because I am sad, shocked, and angry right now).

I promise you Baltimore is a better town than that.

[bigwillq]

4. That is so sad.

I am very sorry for your loss, and that you had to find out that way.

:hug:

[Mezzo]

10. thank you for your thoughts, and the hug. nt

[emilyg]

5. Send the parents a note.

[marzipanni]

6. I agree with emilyg, I think the parents would appreciate a note from you.

I'm so sorry that you lost a friend. :hug:

[Mezzo]

11. I will. I agree with emilyg too. nt

[Maestro]

13. Sorry to hear...

My condolences to you.

[Mezzo]

14. Thank you Maestro. I appreciate that.

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. Mezzo...I am so sorry...

I field phone calls, and get cards quite often, from people who are just now finding out. While there is some horrific grief involved in the reliving of the tale, I am (most times) comforted to be reminded of the impact he had on this world. I am sure her parents would be grateful to hear from you. The only time it really hurts is when people fixate on asking how or why instead of sharing a treasured memory. Her parents might find a lot of comfort in a memory or two that you can share.

I am so sorry for your loss...

[Mezzo]

20. Thank you for your kind words and advice MrsGrumpy. nt

[GreenPartyVoter]

16. I'm so very sorry *hugs*

[NJmaverick]

18. Go to the wake

I am sorry for you lost. My advice would be to attend the wake. There your questions will be answered and you can properly grieve the loss of your friend.

[Mezzo]

19. The wake happened on the 8th...

I found out on the tenth. I am so sad. I don't know her parent's phone number anymore. I could probably find it, but think I should wait a bit first.

[NJmaverick]

21. I really don't think you need to wait

You were a friend and you need to mourn as well. Call them or visit them, tell them you were a friend and you just heard about your friends passing.

[Mezzo]

23. ***UPDATE*** on the night of Thursday April 3rd...

Jess was in a car accident. At the scene, she seemed to be fine, and declined the ambulance (she didn't have private insurance and told everyone she felt fine) Later that night, she was airlifted to a Shock Trauma Center where she died of internal bleeding.

I feel better knowing what happened. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I still just can't believe that this has happened. I'll be sending cards to her family, and ran into our priest yesterday, so...



I can't tell you all how much your thoughts and prayers have helped me.

[NMDemDist2]

24. "she didn't have private insurance and told everyone she felt fine"

that is just so wrong

:cry:

I'm sorry for your loss :hug: