Jack Johnson. Can someone please explain?

[Beaverhausen]

I promise to be open-minded, but I just don't get it.

[Danger Mouse]

1. Fuck that bag of douche. I hate him.

[fizzgig]

2. don't hold back

:rofl:

[Danger Mouse]

4. Fuck him right in his pretentious douchy pretty boy ass.

:D

[Beaverhausen]

6. Wow. Your feelings seem very strong

:rofl:

[Danger Mouse]

7. I hate him nearly as much as sacks of crap like Nickelback...

at least Chad most secretly KNOW what a ridiculous tool he is.
Jack Johnson think he's great. He thinks he's apple sauce on pork chops.
But he's just puke on a pile of dead maggots.

[Iris]

76. ok. You just ruined pork chops and applesauce for me

but I'm laughing my ass off anyway!

So, I take it you didn't just LOVE the Curious George movie?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

31. Yeah. What HE said.

Sorry, I read the recent Rolling Stone cover story on this dink and the only thing I walked away with was "what a fucking DOUCHE."

So what Elrond said.

THAT'S it.

:toast:

[Danger Mouse]

47. Rolling Stone featured Smokey McPot on their cover?

What'd they have to say about Captain Asshat?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

50. I burned the issue and / or used it as two-ply...

...they basically praised him up one side and down the other as a genial stoner Hawaii surfer dude annoying piece of upper middle class shit.

I think he's nothing more than a lucky fuck, and as you said...a DOUCHE.

The world does not need a second Jimmy Fucking Buffett.

One is MORE than enough.

:toast:

[Danger Mouse]

52. he's not worthy to clean buffet's hershey trail with his tongue.

and i don't even like jimmy buffet.
toilet paper is about the only use for any publication that says anything about jack johnson not involving the words 'douche' 'shithead' 'smarmy prick' or 'proof that pot ruins your taste in music.'

[Amerigo Vespucci]

59. Johnson is tenth-rate Buffett...

...and I am not a Parrothead. I basically like "A Pirate Looks At 40" and beyond that Jimmy Buffett can kiss my royal Italian ASS.

I grew up in Massachusetts, and guys like Jack Johnson got their ass kicked 5 days a week...in the locker room, in the playground.

He's a stoner bubble boy...raised in Hawaii...but the core of his being SCREAMS to me "piss on me...PLEASE piss on me."

The Rolling Stone article was the deal breaker.

It sealed his DOUCHENESS in STONE.

:toast:

[Danger Mouse]

61. You, my man, are awesome. BTW, have you ever read 'America: The Book'?

One part of it mentions that there was a 50% chance our country ended up being named 'The United States of Vespucci'
...I wish it were!

[Amerigo Vespucci]

62. My ability to be humble is among my greatest strengths.

:rofl:

:toast:

[mokawanis]

3. I don't get it either

what makes him so damn popular?

[Danger Mouse]

5. He's a 'sensitive' douchebag.

[Deja Q]

8. John Jackson is his clone

At least on Futurama. :D

[nomorenomore08]

9. Bland and non-descript as they come. And he stole his name from a boxing legend!

I used to enjoy hearing some of his songs on the radio (I was in high school, gimme a break), but even so it was always in one ear and out the other.

[Danger Mouse]

10. I would pay to see the REAL Jack Johnson rise from his grave and pummel Douche Doucheson's pasty ass

[nomorenomore08]

12. seconded

:thumbsup:

[XemaSab]

11. If you lived in Santa Barbara, surfed, and smoked a lot of pot

you'd get it. :smoke:

[KamaAina]

15. Ahem...

...he only went to college at UCSB.

He lives and records out here, up on the North Shore.

Ergo, one of my homies has just been called a douche.

This means WAR!! We attack at dawn...

[XemaSab]

19. I stand corrected: If you live on the North Shore, surf, and...

:D

[nomorenomore08]

16. Oh, that's not an excuse and you know it. The SoCal pothead surfers could at least listen to Sublime

Not a great band by any means, but compared to Jack Johnson? :P

[Danger Mouse]

23. I'd need a railroad spike in my brain before I could consider him to be listenable.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

13. The poor man's Jimmy Buffett.

Jimmy Buffett is the poor man.

[nomorenomore08]

17. Jimmy Buffet, a poor man? I'm no parrothead, but his tour revenues and book sales say otherwise.

:hide:

[ghostsofgiants]

14. I wish I could explain it.

[Danger Mouse]

21. I generally respect your tastes. Please tell me you hate that douche.

[ghostsofgiants]

65. For me to hate someone, they have to be on my radar generally.

I am completely apathetic towards him, but he is definitely not someone I would ever willingly listen to, ahha.

[NightWatcher]

18. Jack rocks. it's a lifestyle thing. If you have to ask, you wont get it

I used to work in a surf/kayak shop and it was on a loop. I will play it on a loop too when I start my own shop

[Ikonoklast]

26. For that hideous transgression, you will be visited by

Inigo Montoya.

[NightWatcher]

34. bring it, I'll smash him over the head with my flip flops and ukulele

[bicentennial_baby]

20. Who?

I am ignorant of this person, and based on the posts above, I guess I should be happy about that.

[Danger Mouse]

22. Pretentious asshattery that is apparently very big among west-coast potheads.

[bicentennial_baby]

25. Gotcha. Will avoid at all costs

:hi:

[GOPisEvil]

37. I think you should listen and make up your own mind.

Maybe you'd like him. Maybe not. :)

[Chan790]

40. and east coaast potheads and me.

As I said last night, it's great background noise for kink. Very disarming and sweet...just like the firm embrace of shibari.

Edits:

Shibari (kinbaku)= Japanese rope bondage.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7682157&mesg_id=7682345

[Danger Mouse]

43. i'm more into trance and sensual music for that kind of stuff...

i like music to fit the mood.

[Chan790]

49. Ooohh...touchy-feely music.

wait...you think trance matches up well with BDSM? Are you doing it right? (Kidding)

I feel that Lords of Acid best captures the mood of bondage. :party: Sometimes I just need to break out some JJ so they'll soothe-out and stop screaming long enough for me to find the ball-gag, French whisk and the photo of Carrot-top showing off his guns. }(

:shrug:

I'm just being :silly: because my puckish pev wit had gone un-DUzyed yet again. :(

[Danger Mouse]

51. Eek!

:P

[BuddhaGirl]

78. I like Dead Can Dance, myself

it really sets the mood for me :evilgrin:

[SeanQuinn]

24. I like him.

I find his music calm and relaxing.
I want to be on the beach all day without shoes.

[Orsino]

69. Me, too.

Sure, most of his songs sound alike, but they are pleasant and clever.

[Ava]

27. good pool side music

chilled, fun, and just summery.

i play him while i'm out at the pool along with some reggae and other bouncy light summer music.

[GOPisEvil]

28. Eh, he's not the evil soul-sucking wretch some portray him to be.

I'll admit I don't love, love, love the guy, but he has some songs that get airplay on XM. They're not saving the world or anything, but they're ok.

[Danger Mouse]

29. Nooo....he is evil, evil, pure, unfiltered evil. With a side of evil sauce on a bed of rice.

[Ava]

30. then evil is hawt

:9

[Danger Mouse]

41. do not want.

:cry:

[GOPisEvil]

32. Well if you say it, it must be true.

[HughBeaumont]

33. I need him, Sublime, Phish, DMB, Jimmy Buffet, Dispatch, and ALL them damned bands explained to me.

Rusted Root, Widespread Panic, ekoostik Hookah, OAR, Barenaked Ladies, Our Lady Peace, Tragically Hip . . . UGHGGGGGHHHH!! I just CAN NOT handle music so painfully ordinary and whitebread as all that. Shit like that just DOES NOT ROCK.

[Ava]

35. i love sublime

you suck! :P ;)

[Danger Mouse]

38. some of their songs were actually pretty funny...'santeria' was cool and 'smoke two joints'

was so absurd it cracks me up.

[Ava]

39. yeah, but

can you play the guitar like a mother fucking riot? :P

[Danger Mouse]

42. no. i can't. i can't even play it like a motherfucking 5-year-old

[Ava]

44. ...

:spray:

[Oeditpus Rex]

45. That was a cover

"Smoke Two Joints" was written and originally done by The Toyes in 1983.



:hippie:

[HughBeaumont]

54. To HACK with that buncha pot-bellied dope addict beach bums.

"Lovin . . . is what I got . . . I said imagine " . . . BLAAH! How many damned times did I have to hear that song on every radio in a five mile vicinity when you were in kindergarten, youngster? TOO many. This is what I chill to when I'm poolside:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8tjchas2I4

. . . obviously, I don't spend too much time by the pool . . .

:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

[Ava]

56. YOU EVIL EVIL MAN

you just scared the hell out of me.. that is just... WRONG

i'm scared.. very scared :scared:

[HughBeaumont]

58. I'm about as evil as that sugar bowl in your kitchen.

:P

[Ava]

72. sugar bowls are very very evil

as a matter of fact, i think satan himself created sugar :P

[Danger Mouse]

80. Splenda is the sweetener created by Jesus. Blessed by 20 popes.

[Ava]

81. splenda is freaking horrible

crap in it will kill you

[Danger Mouse]

83. what?? i didn't know this...

:cry:

[Ava]

86. do some googling.. it will scare the crap out of you

new chemical sweeteners (like splenda) and the sweetener blends (aspartame, sucralose and acesulfame k blended together in one product) may be causing users to show signs of weight gain, disruption of sleep patterns, sexual dysfunction, increases in cancer, ms, lupus, diabetes, and a list of epidemic degenerative diseases.

the FDA approved splenda even though they acknowledge that it is a chemical compound containing chlorine(you know.. the stuff in SWIMMING POOLS) even though there were no long-term tests conducted to fully determine potential health effects on humans.

[Danger Mouse]

89. DEAR LORD...okay...

back to sugar... :cry:

[Danger Mouse]

36. Hey, BNL ain't bad...even had a really damn good song about AIDS.

[HughBeaumont]

55. BNL = missing two "A" s.

PHPHPHPHHPHPHTTTTTTTTT!

I totally hate their Schwebels cover of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen".

[bbernardini]

71. What does a religious garment have to do with this?

BNL + two "A"s = "an alb". An alb is a "white vestment worn by clergy and servers in some Christian Churches."

:)

[ellisonz]

70. lol

Sublime is not white bread and does not belong in that group at all.

[Oeditpus Rex]

46. What's to explain?

He just kicked white dude ass. :headbang:

[Danger Mouse]

48. He looks ready and willing to pound Douche Doucheson silly for daring to use his great name.

[DaydreaminHippie68]

53. I personally used to like him

but now kids who live in Beverly Hills and other places that have signiffcant amounts of money think that just because they listen to Jack Johnson and wear sandals and grow thier hair long and smoke pot think they are the coolest things on the earth and alos call themselves "hippies". In wbesters dicitonary it's defined as someone who goes against the cultural norm. I bet about half of those kids have no clue wat that actually means.

...sorry now that I have gone on a tangent, How's everybody?

[Danger Mouse]

57. It's just like goths or emo kids. They're different, just like everybody else.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

91. Um actually I really like Jack Johnson...

and I'm pretty sure other people do too. People are entitled to listen to whatever they like and it is unfair to label people even if yoy do consider them to be "fake"

[DaydreaminHippie68]

96. delete

......nough said

[Cant trust em]

60. So boring.

How many barefooted acoustic songs do we need?

[WorseBeforeBetter]

63. I can't ... he brings out the inner Bluto in me.

And I'm happy to hear I'm not alone.

[MilesColtrane]

64. The REAL tribute to Jack Johnson as recorded by Miles Davis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTjJEr4NuRw

Fusion before Kenny G sullied the name.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

73. Kick for you.

:thumbsup:

[begin_within]

66. ...but... but... but...

don't judge Jack Johnson until you've listened to (and sang along with) his "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" while staring at a campfire.

[Adsos Letter]

67. I haven't read any of the posts in this thread, just the subject lines...

...and all I can say is: "What in the HELL are you people talking about?!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

68. not even a blip on my radar screen.

not.even.

[Beaverhausen]

74. I can't believe this thread is still going

you guys are funny!

[S n o w b a l l]

75. I swear...

I wish I could understand the absolute HATRED for someone because of their music. You see it a lot here and I'll never understand.

You either like em or don't...but HATE them? I wonder... did your mother play that over and over in your crib while withholding your bottle and it made that big of an impact on you or what?

I try to understand so I think how I feel when someone's sitting at the next desk popping gum or something. But in that situation, I usually don't have the option of turning them off.

[Danger Mouse]

79. Music is just about my favorite thing ever. I love music.

Therefore, when music offends my tastes, I despise, just like a gourmet hates awful food.

[rch35]

99. Edited out furious barrage of insults, because mocking dumb people hurts my conscience. nt

[av8rdave]

77. It seems to me that maybe....

I sorta like him.

[Fox Mulder]

82. I don't mind him if I'm trying to fall asleep.

[Danger Mouse]

84. I prefer Mandalay for that.

I would rather be sung to sleep by a gentle female voice than by a pretentious self-important douche.
:evilgrin:

[Jamastiene]

85. Who? n/t

[leftofthedial]

87. chill dude!

like totally.

[samdogmom]

88. "This ship is going down"

Let it be sung so we can carry on.....

I love Jack Johnson...end of story.

[Danger Mouse]

90. go back to smoking your marijuana cigarettes, or 'reefers' as you hip kids call them.

[samdogmom]

94. HA! Thanks for the compliment (?)......

I'm no kid...I'm 52 yrs. old and I've never smoked "reefer" in my life.

Despite these "flaws" I still really like Jack Johnson, although I think his latest album isn't his as good as earlier efforts. Over time, it's growing on me...but it's taking time--unlike earlier efforts.

If you read the article about him in "Rolling Stone" you would probably like him a little more. He's very grounded, environmentally-conscious and devoted to his wife and family--not the typical, troubled music superstar. Plus, he fits music in around his life and his surfing addiction--how can you not like someone like that?

[samdogmom]

97. New song out today....

Check it out...."Family"--can't figure out how to link...but it's a single on iTunes with Zack Gill. (Apparently it's on the Baby Mama Soundtrack).

Enjoy...it really is good!

So sorry you don't like this guy--what a loss for you.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

92. Like I said...

it is unfair to label and people can listen to whomever they choose.

[Iggo]

93. Chicks dig him.

Dudes that dig chicks tolerate him.

That's the best I can come up with.

I guess he's good at what he does, but what is it? It's like summertime beach music, mostly atmosphere, and eminently forgettable...(except for that one song, which I can't remember the name of, which I like...shhh...)

[Enrique]

95. what part of Jack Johnson do you not understand?

[rch35]

98. What the fuck does everyone hate Jack Johnson for?

He is outspokenly political on a huge range of liberal issues, is loudly against the Bush regime, built an energy neutral recording studio, and makes chilled out music that sounds good stoned or sober.

I just saw him in concert at Coachella and it was amazing, he is all about just everyone getting over their differences to get along and coexist. He performed an amazing song live called "Jesus, I love you, and Buddha Too" about that very thing.

[begin_within]

100. Excuse me for interrupting the hate fest, but

"Jack and his band work tirelessly towards raising environmental awareness.

Johnson and his wife set up the Kokua Hawaii Foundation, and Jack has performed in school classrooms to help raise awareness for the charity and the environment.

Johnson supports the Australian Marine Conservation Society, which is working to increase protection for threatened sea turtles through the Save Moreton Bay campaign. Ten Jack Johnson concert tickets have been donated as a reward to the charity’s volunteers.

Johnson recorded a John Lennon song for a CD compilation to raise funds for Amnesty International.

Johnson, with his management and crew, created the All At Once Campaign.

Jack supports the Inspire Foundation’s ActNow program."

Besides all that, he also wrote the song, "Sitting, Wishing, Waiting," which you can thank him for if you ever sang it or heard it sung around a campfire.

[PVnRT]

101. I'm glad he is pursuing good causes

That doesn't mean I have to like his music, much like that wanker Moby.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

102. He's very generous, but his music still sucks.

I remember Big and Rich (country duo) did a benefit for Darfur, which is great, but they still suck as musicians.

[underpants]

103. Yeah plus it is just cool sit back and relax music

my wife loves it. I can't argue with it myself.