i'm coming out of the closet (diagnoses, meds and weird thoughts)

[bertha katzenengel]

Not being schizophrenic or psychotic, imagine my shock when my psychiatrist prescribed anti-psychotics. She said that in low doses, anti-psychotic meds can help with bi-polar II disorder. Who knew? It turns out, of course, that she is right. (And after 20 years of mental health treatment, I've received BPII as a new diagnosis.)

On Thursday night, horror of horrors - seriously - I forgot to take my meds. Now, I fought nausea all day, as I expected to when I realized I'd missed my meds. Wound up barfing after dinner. But all that's not weird. All to be expected when I miss meds.

This was what was weird: I wrote a bunch of weird things. I've missed meds before, but this was different. My first time missing a dose of anti-psychotics, and suddenly I'm writing the weirdest things . . . .

"Rude people have to wait 24 hours before they can get into heaven. . . ."
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7683481

". . . according to the Magna Carta: Boil it in the bathtub with curdled yogurt, pebbles . . . "
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7683533&mesg_id=7683533

But these were NOTHING compared to the dreams. :scared: Two of the most disturbing dreams I've ever had. :(

Weird.

[auntAgonist]

1. ...

Please don't forget your meds :)


:loveya:

aA

[bertha katzenengel]

30. i'll try!

:loveya:

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. ". . . according to the Magna Carta: Boil it in the bathtub with curdled yogurt, pebbles . . . "

Are you saying that I shouldn't have tried that?

I'm kidding. I hope that everything straightens out now and that you're fine. Be well!

[bertha katzenengel]

31. LOL

:hi: thank you

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. Every time I turn around

they're learning something new about bipolar disorder. I hadn't heard there was a second type of the illness.

Talk with your doctor about the side effects of skipping medication. It seems like something she should know. :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

16. i'm seeing her tomorrow. that's among my many questions.

another is, why is my snoring so much worse? :cry:

Gig today, Goddess?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

37. gig tonight...

and driving practice for my older boy this afternoon. :scared:

[ThomCat]

4. I hope you don't forget your meds again.

:hug:

Weird is okay, but sick is not.

[bertha katzenengel]

29. ThomCat

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

5. Well do what makes you feel the best

sounds like not taking your meds leaves you feeling bad

[bertha katzenengel]

17. yeah... but y'know, i forgot. i rarely forget anymore.

i was upset about something, don't really remember what.

:hi:

[femmocrat]

6. I saw the one about the Magna Carta....

I just thought it was another DU post I just didn't "get" or a strange copy-cat. :shrug: What does that say about what passes for normal around here! :rofl:

Hope you are feeling better now, Bertha. :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

18. i am better. thanks, femmo.

:hug:

[Truthiness Inspector]

7. I often wonder

if Bipolar isn't used these days as a "catch-all" diagnosis. I would wager that it is, and because of that actual underlying disorders (and therefore appropriate treatments) get thrown by the wayside.

Just food for thought. I would hate to see you, or anyone, stamped with the "brand du jour" when it might not in fact be the right diagnosis or proper course of treatment.

[bertha katzenengel]

11. Thanks, TI, but after having read the Bi-polar TWO description

("Bi-polar" and "bi-polar II" are different), and having talked about it at length with both my psychiatrist and the therapist who treated me back home for fifteen years, it was a 'HOLY SHIT' moment. The tumblers all fell into place. This is the proper diagnosis.

With the proper diagnosis comes proper treatment, and the treatment i'm getting now is working better than anything has worked in ten years.

[Truthiness Inspector]

13. That is excellent news that you have competent (and concurrent) advice

And it sounds like you know, because you know yourself better than anyone else and it does fit. Best wishes, and I wish you well on your course of treatment. I have a good feeling that you will be just fine. :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

19. many thanks, TI

:hug:

[khashka]

8. in small doses

they can work wonders for BPD - especially when combined with certain anti-depressants (not all).

In large doses the problems can be terrible. But sounds like your doc is being very careful.

Bertha, I never knew you had BPD. You don't act like it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.


Hugs,
Khash.

[bertha katzenengel]

12. don't act like it -- LOL

Khash, if you're interested in it, read about BPII. It's somewhat different.

I am thrilled to have a combination of meds that work far, far better than anything ever has for me.

here's a serious :hug: for you

[khashka]

9. in small doses

they can work wonders for BPD - especially when combined with certain anti-depressants (not all).

In large doses the problems can be terrible. But sounds like your doc is being very careful.

Bertha, I never knew you had BPD. You don't act like it. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.


Hugs,
Khash.

[crim son]

10. Laughing. I just assumed you were channeling pawpicker.

I'm glad you're back on your meds because being ill is scary, at least I think it is. I'm not sure whether you should be comforted or not to think that nobody here noticed anything awry with your postings! :hug: :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

32. LOL awry

that's one of my favorite words. I see it and i think "AH-ree."

:hug: thanks, crim son.

[Fran Kubelik]

14. I love that Magna Carta bathtub thing

The sign of a truly brilliant mind, if you ask me. :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

22. truly brilliant? perhaps. truly mad? temporarily, yes.

:rofl:

:hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

15. I saw those threads.

The rude people one was very clever. The Magna Carta one was so weird that I thought that I'd missed some Lounge joke.

[Droopy]

20. If I miss a dose of my anti-psychotic I sure as hell won't miss the next

Because I'll feel weird as hell until I get that next dose. I get the cold sweats and my head feels like it's as thick and heavy as a bowling ball. I think it might actually be a good thing now that I think about it. It keeps me from missing several doses and ending up in real trouble.

[bertha katzenengel]

24. hi, Droopy

You know from what I'm talking about. :hug: Nice (if that word can be used) to find company here.

:hug:s

[Droopy]

25. Certainly

Don't forget about the mental health forum. We aren't as fast moving and populous over there, but we're there for support, too. :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

28. I had forgotten.

Maybe I'll cross-post this there.

[Sanity Claws]

21. Can I offer a suggestion to help you remember your meds?

I'm sure you already know many tips and hope you don't mind.
As you know taking the meds at the same time everyday helps. Can you set an alarm to go off every 24 hours to remind you?
Also, have you ever had days blur into each other and not be able to remember whether you took your meds on a particular day? Measuring your meds into one of those weekly boxes (do you know what I'm talking about) will help you remember. If the box is empty for Tuesday, then you took Tuesday's meds.

Finally, I can see someone writing the first post, regardless of meds. Someone annoyed you and you wrote a gentle response.
As for the second one, it is indeed strange. Are you able to figure out what your mindset was at that time? Were you trying to be funny? Were you serious? Did you really believe the Magna Carta had something like this in it?

Sweetie, take care of yourself. :hug: We need you around to take care of all those kitties, both feral and domesticated.

[bertha katzenengel]

26. as for the second post

I was contemplating buying a pressure cooker. It made me think of new cast iron, and I thought of the seasoning process for that material, and it led to "prepare . . . ."

I routinely take meds when I wake and meds before going to bed. I've used the boxes before and can't seem to stay consistent in filling them each week. But I really appreciate your thoughts.

Especially the kindest ones at the end. :hug:

[Lars39]

35. Get one that is for 7 days a week, 4 times a day.

That way you only have to fill it approx. once a month and you can look ahead to when you will have to refill your prescriptions.
Just use left to right. I got mine at Walmart, but you could get it online, too.

This one is all in one piece, and the bottom of each compartment is curved, making it easier to get the pills out.
http://www.forgettingthepill.com/organizers.html

[Zuiderelle]

23. LOL

Those threads are funny. And Odd. But good that the diagnosis is good for you. Just remember to take those meds. :scared:

:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

27. hey, PelosiFan

:hug:

You'd'a never thunk it, would ya?

[Kajsa]

33. I'm glad you have a good doctor, and

an accurate diagnosis, Bertha!

My ex struggled for years with the "diagnosis of the day" and different meds.
until he found some that helped him. To this day, no one is really sure what's
going on with him.

Please be careful, missing meds is serious stuff.

Personally, I liked your 'Rude' thread- it hit the nail on the head.

Your 'Magna-Carta prep for the pressure cooker' sounds like something
straight from an Allen Ginsberg poem- and I like Allen Ginsberg!

Take good care of yourself, dear lady.

You are very loved and needed.

:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

34. thanks, Kajsa

i still don't know where the pressure cooker bit came from. :weird:

don't call me a luddite, but i've never read Allen Ginsberg.

:hug:

[Kajsa]

36. If you get a chance, check out 'Howl',

a collection of his poems.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howl

including the title poem,

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Ramble/howl_text.html

It takes a while ( at least for me it did)
for it to sink in.

Afterthought- your MC pressure cooker was a VERY upbeat
Ginsbergian type poem.
:)

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

38. I have not had any luck with the anti-psychotics. I am on tegretol and re-trying lamictal but

the skin on the roof of my mouth is already peeling and I itch all over, so this may not work. Again.

Have you ever seen this site: http://psycheducation.org/ ? It's been very helpful to me.

[bertha katzenengel]

43. I had never seen it, GPV

but I'll check it out at home tonight. :hug:

[Ellen Forradalom]

39. Those are fantastic posts

Treasure them.

[Ellen Forradalom]

40. And how interesting

that they should be perfectly spelled and punctuated! Freepers don't make any sense, either, but they can't do that!

:rofl:

[bertha katzenengel]

41. *choke*

:rofl:

[hedgehog]

42. I read an analysis of brain function that suggested that a lot of what

we call mental illness happens when things aren't quite coordinated. For example, if you were awake and active but in an ongoing dream state, you might type something like using the Magna Carta method for prepping a pressure cooker. It reminds me of talking to various sleepwalkers in my family. (My brother got very disgusted with us one time when we told him he was asleep and went back up to bed!)
The analysis is in the opening pages of a book called "Out of its mind - psychiatry in crisis, a call for reform" by J. Alan Hobson.


Anyways, it's good to hear that your medicines are working for you!

On edit - I've often wondered if the pills give me weird dreams or if I've been having weird dreams all along and the pills help me to remember the dreams!

[bertha katzenengel]

44. Me too! About pills & dreams.

:shakehands: glad ta meetcha, neighbor :hi:

[hedgehog]

45. FWIW - one of my kids has been on Risperdal for depression for about

10 years and is doing fantastic!