I fucked up.

[kedrys]

After a month of looking, we found a great loft apartment in a nice part of town in Montreal. Never mind that my parents said they wouldn't help us if "that's how you want to live" - a trendy neighborhood with tons of musicians and creative and professional types.

No, I fucked up because I was honest with the guy and told him how many cats we have.

When the deal fell through, the s.o. went postal, among other things throwing things at me, including the wedding ring. We had a big knock-down drag-out last night, and regrettable words were exchanged.

I have a job interview follow-up tomorrow morning, and even though it sounds like they're going to make me an offer, at this point nothing seems to matter.

I took my ring off too.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Why is it that every time I try to do the right thing, I fuck up large?

[shanine]

1. How many cats do you have?

:hug:

[kedrys]

2. Six.

They're our children - we couldn't leave them behind when we moved.

My dad just called. This is so fucked.

I gotta go.

Thanks for the :hug:.

[hippywife]

3. I'm so sorry you

are feeling so low this morning. It isn't wrong to do the right thing, no matter how many people try to make you feel that way.

I hope things lighten up for you today. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[kedrys]

9. Thanks

I just got back from talking to my folks. The s.o. is barricaded in the bedroom sulking.

My parents are ready to help, but the s.o. won't talk to Dad.

I don't know what to do.

[hippywife]

13. Just do the things

you need to do, have been planning to do. Ignore the sulking. Let him come around on his own. He'll eventually work it out and cool off.

[lost-in-nj]

4. sorry about the fight....

hope you both calm down and can talk about it...


:hug:

good thing you were honest
Imagine of you wern't, moved in,got caught
then got kicked out??

you would have NO where to go...


hope you find an even better place.....


lost

on edit: you didn't fuck up..... you were being a good person. NOTHING wrong with that

[kedrys]

10. That's what I keep telling myself

We'd have been pinched and evicted, and still liable for whatever time was left in the lease.

Somehow that doesn't help.

Thanks for the :hug:.

[ThomCat]

5. I'm sorry.

:(

I hope the fight blows over with minimal repercussions. :hug:

I hope you can find a really nice appartment.

[kedrys]

14. Thanks for the hug

We're sort of talking now, but it's not exactly pleasant. :(

[riderinthestorm]

6. 25 years married, can't tell you how many times I've taken off my wedding rings

Lost 2 of them when I took them off and then couldn't find them cause it was so long before I put them back on again!

It happens. You'll put them back on again when your hearts heal from this fight.

You did the right thing telling the landlord though. I've been on both sides of that deal and if you'd been discovered, you would have been evicted and that totally sucks. Find a landlord who is cool with your cats and you'll all be happier in the long run.

[kedrys]

15. There are a few landlords out there that don't care

but most of the places we've seen are pits. We're ready to peel off most of our belongings to fit in a much smaller place that at least has appliances - I've looked at hundreds of ads and visited dozens of places. That's part of why this sucks so much.

[Haole Girl]

7. Being honest is not fucking up...

However, it sounds like your s.o. fucked up by throwing things at you.

I wish you all the best. That sounds like a lot of stress to have all at once.

Don't really have any words of wisdom to offer... except to reinforce, again, it doesn't sound

like it was your fault. :hug:

[Erva]

8. So Sorry

I agree that you were better off telling the truth. The landlord would have discovered it anyway and you may have been in some other financial trouble for breach of contract. Something else will turn up. We have to move and have watched a few really nice properties slip through our fingers as well. Keep looking and try to be nice to each other. Good luck!!

[applegrove]

11. I'm so sorry. Don't make that mistake again and you should be alright.

[khashka]

12. You didn't fuck up

You did everything right.

It's your s.o. who fucked up. Throwing the wedding ring at you?

Good luck at the job interview thing. :)

Khash.

[kedrys]

16. Thanks

I have a new suit - that helps.

[RevolutionaryActs]

17. Aww sweetie I'm sorry.

:hug::loveya::hug::loveya::hug::loveya::hug::loveya:

[quakerboy]

18. Sorry

It sucks when everything snowballs. Why can't problems come in an orderly fashion and be dealt with appropriately?

[kedrys]

20. Someone once said that time is nature's way to

keep everything from happening all at once.

It's not working.

On the plus side, things had calmed down more than somewhat by midnight last night. At least I can go to my follow-up interview without geeking too much. :|

[Benfea]

19. Wow, he threw the ring at you over THAT?

Either he's mad about something other than that and taking it out on you over the cat/apartment thing, or he's a real jerk and needs to be dumped.

[stuntcat]

21. the follow-up interview!

*vvvviibbbeeess*

The apartment sound sweet but maybe it just wasn't meant to be, maybe there was something about the place, some reason you weren't supposed to go there anyway. I hope you'll find just the right place though.
Maybe after letting out a lot of anger and steam things will be easy and nice for a while, that's how it's always been in my marriage anyway.

[raccoon]

22. You didn't fuck up. What bothers me is your s-o throwing things at you.

I didn't think CANADIANS did things like that. :silly:

You deserve better than an s-o who throws things at you.

:hug:

[Forkboy]

23. Personally, if someone who claimed to love me threw stuff at me....

...I'd take off the ring too, and head straight out the door.

Your mileage may vary, and if it does then I hope you work things out for the best soon.

[grannylib]

24. I don't think you fucked up; you don't want to get into a place then

get evicted for having more cats than allowed; that would suck even worse than not getting the place to begin with, I think (just my opinion)
I'm really sorry to hear about the knock-down-drag-out, and the s.o. tossing things...I hate those scenes, and know how miserable they are and the next several days/weeks/months can be after one. :hug:

I wish you well on the interview follow-up, and in loft-hunting, and in being as un-miserable as you can manage.
Please make sure you're safe; I'm not trying to point fingers at your s.o. but I'd hate to see anyone victimized by abuse of any kind...

[IronLionZion]

25. Karma will work out in the end

Sure it seems tough. There have been many times when doing the right thing has fucked me over, usually financially. But I've had good things happen in other ways that it probably comes around full circle.

Keep on keeping on. It may seem bad right now but it will work out sooner or later. Keep looking for a place.

[petronius]

26. You didn't fuck up

Hiding one cat is doable, but hiding six isn't gonna happen. You'd have been found out, evicted, and the next rental would have been harder once you were on the landlord blacklist.

Your SO is understandably upset, but throwing things is way out of line, and he owes you an apology. Let him sulk until he realizes that (and don't put the ring back on until the apology shows up).

Good luck with the house search!