Blown out again.

[billyskank]

I'm trying to do something about my lonely life, really I am. I resorted to a dating site because it doesn't happen of its own accord. Everybody else who uses this site seems to rave about how good it is, how high quality the people on it are, how fast they get a result. I've been on it six months and met one person. And she didn't want to see me again after one meeting.

I don't get it. I don't know how to play this game of life. Do you get an instruction manual at the beginning? Mine got lost somewhere. I honestly don't know how to do this. It is a complete mystery to me. All my friends tell me not to think that there's something wrong with me, but obviously, clearly, there has to be. It's like the way a wasp is painted with black and yellow lines as nature's way of saying DANGER! DON'T TOUCH!! I feel like that. I've got a big warning sign painted on me, or just above my head.

If it's the case that you have to suffer the rejections before one person says yes, I say fuck it. My rate seems to be that I need to approach 1000 different people for one to like me. It isn't worth it. Women don't like me. Period. I need to just accept it and stop looking. And that WON'T be what makes it happens for me, so don't say it. It won't.

I quit. No more. I'm going to bed. Alone. Again. And for the rest of my life.

Goodnight.

[skygazer]

1. It took me until I was 40 to find my husband

I never believed in "love" because it had never really happened to me, even though I'd been married twice. I married the first time because we had kids, I married the second time because I was afraid of being alone but I didn't love either one. Not really.

I thought it was all a make-believe story. I dated a few people but nothing ever clicked. I got used to being alone. I got so I liked being alone.

I was 40 years old when Mr. Sky walked into my life.

I'm NOT saying that's what will happen with you. I don't know what will happen with you. But I do know that I never believed in any of it, thought it was all rubbish and it turned out I was wrong.

That's all I know.

[MonkeyFunk]

13. me, too

and I wasn't looking. Had just come off a bad breakup.

Trying to "find someone" seems to be the surest way to fail to find someone.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. ....

:hug:

[NJmaverick]

3. My brother did Match.com and was pretty successful

What he did was get a dummies book on internet dating. This helped him to be more successful.

[Skittles]

8. hey I gave that dummies book to a friend and he said it really helped him

turns out he was making some elementary mistakes - yes INDEED

[SPKrazy]

4. Sometimes when you aren't looking

is when it happens

:shrug:

:hug:

[Danger Mouse]

5. Don't despair...it's hard, meeting people. I know that loneliness right now...

and sometimes it's hard to resist it, but I know, deep down inside, that this is only temporary.
The same goes for you. Honestly, you're a great guy, and I bet there's more than a few DU ladies who would take care of you in a heartbeat.
Don't sell yourself short. Please.
:hug:

[Cabcere]

6. Being lonely sucks.

x( :hug: For what it's worth, billyskank, I think you rock, and the women on that site must be colossal idiots not to realize what a great guy you are. :pals: I know it's rough, but try not to be too hard on yourself - we love ya! :loveya: :grouphug:

[Haole Girl]

7. Don't give up

I would suggest getting a motorcycle (or do they call them motor bikes in the U.K.?), but I'm not sure if you'd like it. It's helped me, though... when I'm outside.. learning something new... feeling the blood flow through my veins. Do what works for you. If you say nothing works for you, then try new things until you find something!

Hope you find what works for you! :hug:

[supernova]

9. If we were closer,

geographically speaking, I'd love to go out with you. I hope you know that.

:hug:

Don't give up. You deserve all the happiness life can throw at you.

[AirmensMom]

10. Hey ....

There's nothing wrong with you. :hug:

[femmocrat]

11. ahhh... Billy...

Knowing how much everyone loves you here, it seems so hard to believe that you aren't beating them off with a stick.

:hug: :loveya:

I know that's not much consolation, but I don't know how to help. Sorry, Billy. I hope you find happiness tomorrow.

[Fran Kubelik]

12. Billyskank

I know you are a good person.

I've noticed lately that you seem very depressed. You have turned completely inward. You don't interact with people on this site. Even when you post something about how much you are hurting, and people respond, you don't respond to them.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? Talking this out with someone? I think it would help, get this anger and frustration out and let the real Billyskank - the really amazing sweet giving guy - back out.

[Callalily]

14. I'm so sorry to hear that you

are hurting. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you.

I too have stopped making the effort of looking for someone, and I too don't subscribe to the thought that once one stops looking that special someone will be found.

That all said, I'm fine being alone. I have a lot of friends, keep busy with interesting hobbies, always looking for something new to learn, etc. I think the key is to love/like oneself. That makes us happy overall. That special person can not make us happy unless we have happiness within.

You are a super nice guy and I'm sorry that you are hurting. I think we all go through periods like that. But I hope you feel better soon.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. I know from whence you come, for I come from that place as well. --

For them to be winners; they have to make us losers. Sometimes, I think it is really as simple as that.

I live just to piss them off. Do the same. Maybe, one day we will outnumber them. :hug:

[BarenakedLady]

16. I'm sorry you are so down.

:(

[applegrove]

17. Try pursuing your interests. Or play sports with people your age.

You gotta try and get out there in as many ways as possible to find the right person. Health club? Even if you normally wouldn't join such clubs..you need to expand your circle of aquaintances.