Match Game Story style: "Ethel lost her mummified terrapin in Vancouver. She was _____ donuts."

[Rabrrrrrr]

Standard rules: ten words or more in the blank to make a story out of it.

The grosser and more twisted, the better.

[underpants]

1. dryhumping

[DS1]

2. mourning by reading another one of Rabrrrrr's match-games

and wondering how many douchebags would fail to read the instructions and reply with one word answers, and of course snacking on coffee and

[Chan790]

3. but I only need one word.

[DS1]

5. Then you stay in the corner and think of 9 other words you need

[Chan790]

6. ...

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blowing

it lacks a certain je nais se quois this way. :dunce:

[Dr. Strange]

4. Wow.

But not just wow: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

10. That was a one word response.

Are you trying to annoy the DS1?

[Dr. Strange]

11. No. If I wanted to annoy the DS1...

I'd post something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4c-dLeELZM

:evilgrin:

[av8rdave]

7. completely devastated, drowning her sorrows in dry apple martinis and

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

24. WTF is a dry apple martini?

[av8rdave]

25. I don't know...but I've overheard the term before.

I don't drink martinis and know absolutely nothing about them.

how about a dry vodka martini? Sound better?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. I think all martinis taste like MEK.

So I'll pass, I guess. :)

[av8rdave]

27. Actualy, I've never even tried one, so I guess I'm not one to judge

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. I've never actually tried drinking MEK, but I can kind of imagine...

Martinis are nasty. Give me a nice cold Bombay gin & tonic any day.

[av8rdave]

33. Bombay G&Ts are awesome

I "rediscovered" them last summer while on vacation.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

36. Maybe someday,

not too long from now, when you and I both work for the same gargantuan airline, we can meet and have one... :)

[av8rdave]

37. I take it that the deal in the works will have us at the same outfit?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

38. Yep!

Gonna be fun. Or something.

[av8rdave]

39. It's gonna be interesting before it all gets settled

Let's hope it's good for all of us! At any rate, we may have the opportunity to either celebrate or commiserate! A G&T might be the appropriate beverage.

[AlCzervik]

8. unconcerned at first but as the day wore on it slowly sunk in that the terrapin like

so many others in her life had rejected her as well and in the end she turned to the one constant in her life that was always there for her, never questioning, never judging, the always comforting powdered

[Dr. Strange]

9. Buckle up...

Ethel lost her mummified terrapin in Vancouver. She was drowning her sorrow with a baker's dozen of the pastries from Ma Fit that she had heard so much about (but never gotten around to trying) and catching up on her mail, when she read the test results from her doctor; she gasped weakly in horror, her throat starting to constrict, as she read the prognosis: she had been deemed deathly allergic to donuts.

[BuelahWitch]

12. Dunkin'?

:hide:

[Z_I_Peevey]

13. Ethel

lost her mummified terrapin in Vancouver. She was afraid to report the news to Lorenzo, who had grown so fond of her collection, and instead began to frantically rifle through her collection of World War II-era recipes, which ironically contained instructions for fresh terrapin soup as well as orange cake donuts.

[TZ]

14. Hey Rabrrrrrr...

I hate to tell you this but I am alive and well..far from being mummified....:P

[madinmaryland]

15. Pfffthh!!1!!

:rofl:

:hi:

[Liberalynn]

16. Even she a donut afficianado couldn't stomach the thought of orange donuts,

maybe she should do a twist on the recipie and make them taste like someone's-----

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. ?????

:shrug:

[Liberalynn]

18. Okay I will fill in the blank

Ethel would change the recipe to make the donuts taste like someone's old sneakers.

[Rabrrrrrr]

19. I still don't get it.

[Liberalynn]

20. I was kind of continuing on from I-Peevy's story cause I kind of got hooked, but I'll try again. LOL

[Liberalynn]

21. Second Attempt

"Ethel lost her mummified terrapin in Vancouver. She was innocently baking donuts when the mounties confiscated more than just the terrapin.

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Almost, but not quite.

You didn't technically fill in the blank. Good stuff, but not within the parameters of the task at hand.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

23. "Ethel lost her mummified terrapin in Vancouver. She was

on a Reptiles of Western Canada tour sponsored by the National Geographic Society, when, during a visit to the All-Canada Chelonian Relic Society and Bondage Supply Outlet, she purchased the mummy at the gift shop (after passing on a stunningly ornate but highly impractical ball gag), paying a premium for it because the Canadian dollar is now actually worth real money, a fact of which the gift shop clerk (a large, pasty woman with a pendulous brown wart that lopped over her left eye like a wasp's nest hanging off the eave of an abandoned shed) haughtily reminded her ("Buyin' the old turtle, eh? You using that funny money money of yours, eh?"); but Ethel had never seen anything as fascinating, in a crusty, dead sort of way, as the mummified terrapin, which was not the mere shell, but the entire animal, a reptilian King Tut, as it were, but without the gold and the eye makeup, but lovely nonetheless, its eye sockets shrunken and its limbs shriveled, and Ethel knew there must be some kind of curse associated with it, some ancient, eldritch spell, some hideous juju; but this made her desire it more, and having paid the toadlike cashier (who thoughtfully wrapped the terrapin in a plastic bag inscribed with a yellow smiley face and the words "Have A Nice Geologic Era"), she clutched the package to her ample, heaving bosom and joined the rest of her group, who by then were waiting impatiently on the tour bus; and as soon as Ethel sat down next to Dr. Imhotep Nelson, the herpetology professor, she gasped -- for no particular reason -- "Cthulhu fhtagn!" at which point the terrapin suddenly came to life and ripped through the plastic bag, flew around the interior of the bus and exploded in a shower of sparks, confetti and turtle guts, which made Ethel suddenly remember she had not had any breakfast that morning, and she turned to a very flummoxed Dr. Nelson and commented that they should get some donuts."

[Dr. Strange]

29. Wow.

Add some illustrations, and you've got the great American novel!

[GCP]

31. OMG - ROTFLMAO

You are a genius!

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. Fantastic!!

We can always count on ocelot to give us a hell of a story.

:applause:

[DS1]

35. Bravo!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

30. She was found with a kilo of Tim Horton's

And 10 Cases of Moosehead, giddily making snow angels in a pile of jelly donuts.

[Tikki]

34. "Ethel lost her mummified terrapin in Vancouver. She was....

out in the parking lot pulling donuts when it flew off the hood
of her car, where she had left it, after showing the mummified
terrapin to some cute Vancouver guys at the local drive-in.


slang...donut: To drive your car in a tight circle.


Tikki