Ah'm afeared my lovemakin' wuz not up to par last night...

[LeftyFingerPop]

Ah'm shamed of myself.

Mah lovemakin' skils have Dee teeriorated.

Am'md shamed.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

1. Were you given

sodium pentathol or just drunk when you posted this?

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. No sodium!!!

Watching my blood pressure....

[SOteric]

2. Thanks for the update. I'll pass this along to Reuters.

I'm sure they'll want to lead with it on front pages internationally.

[LeftyFingerPop]

3. Please don't....

I'm trying to keep it a secret.

[SOteric]

5. *L*

Weeellll, you're off to a bad start if you're posting it on the internet.

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. Internet?

I thought I was sitting here talking to you people. I shy away from the internet.

[FloridaJudy]

6. Jeez, I get about 31 e-mails a day offering to fix that problem

Want me to pass them on to you?

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. Just 31?

I get hundreds of penis enlargement ones.

They don't work on me thought because at 2.5 inches, I'm much larger than the average internet male.

[AlCzervik]

7. Did your hand not want to cuddle afterwards or something?

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. No, it just smoked a cigarette, ate a sandwich, and then....

rolled over and fell asleep. It didn't even wave goodnight to me.

[RainDog]

13. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I think that may be the funniest thing I've ever read on DU.

[LeftyFingerPop]

14. It's not funny when your own hand uses you then dumps you. n/t

[QueenOfCalifornia]

10. Locking

haven't you heard?

No S.E.X. threads.

It offends people who don't get to have any

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. Unlocking.

This is not a sex thread. It is a "lovemaking" thread. The mods told me that lovemaking threads are ok.