Ugh. Feeling a bit depressed now.

[DarkTirade]

Just spent a nice fun day reminding myself that yes, I am still head over heels for someone and no, I won't be able to be with her. Long story short, I met her right after I moved here, then shortly after that she moved. She was back in town for the day, we had fun. But it was just like there was this barrier there. There's mutual attraction, but we can't be together. And it's making it hard to just be friends too. If we could just be friends without that I'd still be happy. It's not just an attraction, the reason I want to be with her is the same reason I enjoy spending time with her in general. It just complicates things even more that there's that attraction there. Thank the gods I learned early on to ignore things like that and just be myself, otherwise we wouldn't have had any fun today. :P

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest so I'm not gonna be all mopey and depressed whenever I get around to calling my mom to wish her happy mother's day. :P Don't wanna be a bring-down for her on her day.

[Deja Q]

1. s'okay!

:hug:

I know how you feel; I've met a special woman once or twice in my life too...

Just keep being yourself. Shtick happens and, one day, things will work out and the person right for you will come along. And stay.

[DarkTirade]

2. I've met a few that I felt this way about but knew deep down they weren't right for me...

and found out later that deep-down was right and it was just infatuation.

I didn't get that with her. :\

Thanks. :hug:

I'm finding that listening to Rammstein is helping too. Hard to be depressed with that playing. :P

[DarkTirade]

3. I think part of it is just that the last week or so I've been really just stretched thin

(last week of school, cramming stuff, more medical stuff I have to deal with for my grandpa, ect.) and so I've been feeling really emotional and my brain has just been frikkin' EVERYWHERE the last couple of days.

Of course, that's cause me to have trouble getting my schoolwork done which is in turn making more stretching-thinnes. I wouldn't really call it stress, I'm not stressed out. Just stretched thin.

[Fox Mulder]

4. I know that feeling all too well.

:(

[DarkTirade]

5. A part of me's glad I'm not the only one...

but I wouldn't wish it on anyone else either so I'm conflicted. :P

[flvegan]

6. At least you had the day, right?

Sounds like you're well-grounded on this, playing well within your reality, and you got to have a good day with your friend. Who knows what tomorrow holds.

[DarkTirade]

7. Problem is that I know what tomorrow holds... her driving back home. :P

I just gotta try and get over her. Easier said than done, but it's gotta be done.

[flvegan]

9. No, not *that* tomorrow.

Tomorrow like a year from now. "Tomorrow" being metaphor type thing for "the future" or something. Sorry, I don't do "deep" well.

[DarkTirade]

11. I know, that's why I added the :P at the end.

I know what'cha mean. Gotta move forward. Life moves on, with or without me. Best to be there when it does. :) :hug:

[lost-in-nj]

8. I

know

just what you are feeling


I love someone


to far away....


hope to come to a
happy medium....



:hug:




lost


we are here for you!!!

[DarkTirade]

13. Thanks, that's what I need right now. :)

:hug:

[Danger Mouse]

10. My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

[DarkTirade]

12. I was thinking about it actually...

...better wait until after I call my mom to say happy mother's day though. :P

[Danger Mouse]

14. That might be a good idea.

Girl trouble sucks.

[DarkTirade]

15. It's either that... or go for a big bowl of ice cream.

Hmmm... I wonder if whisky and ice cream go well together...

[TK421]

16. Hope everything works out....although I'm something of a pessimist as far

as personal relationships go....I won't go into details here, but I hope it gets you somewhere

[DarkTirade]

18. Unfortunately I'm in a position where I can't leave this city, and she's in a position

where she just can't conceivably live in this city. :\ So if it is gonna happen, it won't be anytime soon. I just need to try and move on I s'pose.

[TK421]

21. Dude, are YOU happy where you are living?

That is very important.....are you? If so, don't move and make yourself miserable potentially, anyways

[DarkTirade]

23. I like it fine here, but the only real attachment I have is the reason I moved here.

I moved up here because my grandpa needs dialysis three times a week, but he can't drive and my grandma isn't physically capable of getting him around.

But even though I have fond memories of this area from my childhood, I haven't really fully connected with it yet. And I haven't connected with many people either.

[TK421]

24. You are close to your Grandfather, I take it? That is reason enough

I know all about moving into a new area....you ARE talking to a pro here, and it does take time to make those adjustments..it just "happens" and it happens when you least expect it to. I've made some connections to people here in this town ( small town that it is ) but it took me at least three years to make those connections....now I can't walk down the street without half the people I encounter knowing my name or where I work or asking for tickets to the show. Give it time....I used to hate small town life ( having lived through it before ) but now, I'm really starting to appreciate it more

edited to add: for what it's worth

[DarkTirade]

25. I've actually got a nifty combination of small town and city here. :)

So I'm not too worried about finding ways of fitting in. I'm just sayin' I haven't found much YET. :)

[graywarrior]

17. .

:hug:

[DarkTirade]

22. Thanks, I need a few of those. :)

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

19. Aww

...hate it when life gets complicated. Don't ever stop being yourself. :hug:

[DarkTirade]

20. I don't plan to. :)

:hug: Thanks.