|
There is a Facebook group called "Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation". The following are some "facts" from the News section. If you're a fan of Jack Bauer and 24, sit back and enjoy. Some of these are pretty inventive.
**********
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.
Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
Jack Bauer has killed so many terrorists that at one point, #5 on the FBI Most Wanted list was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Jack Bauer was able to eliminate Bird Flu playing Duck Hunt.
Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
The answer is Jack Bauer, the question doesn't matter.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
