Help! I'm having an identity crisis!

[OnionPatch]

Help me! Am I a toothless hick from Appalachia (I am actually missing one of my molars) or a latte-sipping liberal elitist? (Oh how I love my fancy coffee.) Let's see, I live in California but I was born and raised in rural Appalachia. I love fancy coffee, but I drink it with my farm-fresh eggs every morning after tending the chickens. I work in a professional, high-tech, white-collar job in the city, but I don't have a university degree and I live in the country. I'm a tree-hugging dirt-lover, but I have a well-stocked gun cabinet and a freezer full of elk meat. I haven't set foot in a church in years and years and many of my friends are atheists, but I believe in God and pray several times most days. I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. :crazy: How will I know who to vote for?

[LaraMN]

1. We'll just call you a "Califachian"

You're thinking too much.
:silly:

[OnionPatch]

4. I like it!

Thanks. :)

[mainegreen]

2. Make a list carefully weighing out the pros and cons of each candidate.

Be sure your list is tabular and organized; for a bonus do it in excel.

After you create your list, flip a coin to decide who to vote for.

[5LeavesLeft]

3. Well, according to GDP

you'll vote for Obama if you're a sexist, Clinton if you're a racist, Paul if you drink kool-aid and McCain if you're A @*#)!(*#!