Being married and raped

[Breeze54]

is real and LEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wtf:

That's all I have to say.

[fizzgig]

1. actually, it's not legal

we had a case here within the past few years where a man was charged with rape for having sex with his wife while she was asleep despite the fact she repeatedly asked him not too.

rape or sexual assault is defined as any unwanted sexual contact, regardless of the relationship between the parties

[DarkTirade]

3. It might depend on the local laws.

And some local laws can stay on the books for years, including ridiculous ones that never should have been made in the first place.

[fizzgig]

4. you are probably right about that

as shitty as that is x(

[DarkTirade]

7. I was a bit surprised that I had to explain that concept to an ex of mine.

I guess she couldn't imagine not wanting to have sex with someone she was with at the time. :\ But she was weird, she had some issues.

Let's just say she understood a few years later though when she was dating someone else.

And it's damn lucky for him that I never met him.

[fizzgig]

11. i think it's still a societal thing, unfortunately

there's a lot of pressure for women to always be sexually available to their partners

[DarkTirade]

13. I think part of it was that

A) She was young and sex was this wonderful new thing for her, so she couldn't imagine not wanting it and
B) She had only been with two guys. One who was a total weenie and she could have kicked his ass if he'd tried anything, and me, who wouldn't have tried anything.

But a few years later when she woke up to find her guy at the time trying to do something to her that she wouldn't have agreed to do while awake, that's when she figured it out.

[Breeze54]

20. Any ACT of VIOLENCE wakes the victim.. UP!!!

:cry:

[DarkTirade]

23. Yeah, she didn't end up getting him arrested...

but the people she was living with kicked him out of the house and sent him packing ASAP as soon as she told them about it.

[Breeze54]

25. He should be incarcerated.

:(

[DarkTirade]

26. He should be.

And from what I learned about him, he probably is by now.

At least one can hope.

[Breeze54]

10. Try reporting it.. but

I hear what you're saying BUT?!?

The laws do NOT hold water.

He held all the cards and yes, I'm not smiling.

[fizzgig]

15. i guess i'm lucky where i live

the sexual assault laws are taken very seriously

[Breeze54]

18. NO sexual assault laws are taken seriously!!

MEN run the country and they think it's OKAY to "take" a woman or turn a blind eye!

It is NOT OK!!! :grr:

:cry:

[Breeze54]

14. I don't fucking care if it's 'LEGAL"

I'm traumatized. :cry: :grr:

[fizzgig]

17. oh breeze

:hug:

[tigereye]

35. oh I am sorry

:hug:


perhaps a call to the local crisis line. That might bring some support for you.

[bicentennial_baby]

2. My Ex-BF used to do that to me... long ago.

I should have reported it, but I didn't.

As far as I know, he just got off a long stint in Federal Prison. Everyone I know is under orders to NEVER tell him where I live. Ever.

[fizzgig]

5. i'm sorry you had to go through that

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Thanks babe...I worked through it, mostly

the R.A.D. self-defense course did wonders. I'm not afraid of him anymore. At least not like I used to be. :hug:

[fizzgig]

12. i'm glad to hear that you're healing

i know a bit of what you've gone through, but nothing to that extent

[bicentennial_baby]

16. I'm getting there

Not to say that I don't have issues...Angry men make me freak the fuck out. It is what it is.

It's been about 9 years, there's a lot of road between then and now, if you know what I mean. I'm stable, that's cool with me.

I'm sorry that you can relate at all. :(

:hug: :hug:

[fizzgig]

19. it breaks my heart how many people can relate to this

:hug:

[Breeze54]

22. I'm sorry you were raped but

I'm also sorry for his victims, after you. :(

:hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

28. Oh, I know...Although guns were really his thing

I have come to believe that the forced sex was more a situational thing with him and I, as I have known both his former and latter GFs. He was violent though, he went to prison on ATF charges.

[LeftyMom]

6. Depends on the state. It's illegal here, but there was no point in filing charges

as prosecution was unlikely in the extreme, let alone conviction.

[DarkTirade]

8. There's always that too.

:\

[khashka]

27. It's a tough one

It's a HeSaid SheSaid thang. It's hard to prove, especially between spouses. And victimizes the victim all over again!

I feel very strongly about this and find it hard to think clearly it makes me so mad.


Khash.

[khashka]

21. In most places it's not legal

Doesn't mean the police will do anything though. But get out! Even if you have to sleep in your car. Then go back at night while he's asleep and take a very dull knife and castrate the fucking goddamn motherfucking asshole!

Sorry, I'm a rape survivor and it doesn't make me nice.

Khash.

[Breeze54]

24. I feel that same violence.....

I feel that same violence.

That's why I'm still single.

I Wish I could change it... but I can't. :grr:


:hug:

[khashka]

32. I was raped when I was 17

And I've got scars on my chest and belly where he sliced me up. It was pretty brutal. But maybe it was worse for you than me? Because he was a stranger, not someone I loved and trusted.

But you have every right to be angry and feel violent towards him (just don't act on it). It can and will get better. Just keeping reminding yourself that he was just an evil fuck. But it's hard - some days I can't look at myself in the mirror without seeing me as he saw me, a thing to be used, violated and hurt.

And there are good, decent, loving, understanding men out there.And maybe that's what you need - a good, loving man who understands what you've been through. It's worth a try :)

And we aren't all evil and some of us do understand.


Khash.

[mike_c]

29. the CHIEF OF POLICE in my town is sitting in jail right now...

...awaiting trial for spousal rape.

http://www.times-standard.com/localnews/ci_9241938

[Skittles]

30. if any guy ever did that to me

f*** reporting it, I'd get the nearest baseball bat and use his head and crotch as a pinata

[crimsonblue]

31. I'm smarter than to do that shit...

my fiancée would probably cut off my balls if I ever pulled something like that.. But it's a moot point, because she has a more energized libido than I do, and that's saying something.

[PeaceNikki]

34. You do know that rape, even in marriage, is not about "libido" at all, don't you?

It's about control.

That's an important detail.

[BlueIris]

38. Congratulations on being "smarter" than a rapist.

WTF?

[crimsonblue]

39. wtf to you.

I find getting all riled up about and obviously baiting OP without ANY statistics or facts is fucking ludicrous. If you want to effectively treat this like the problem it is, then write a calm and rational OP with statistics. Don't just go trying to bait responses...

[Fran Kubelik]

42. how is this a baiting OP?

What kind of statistics is she supposed to be quoting? I have to say that I think your post is incredibly insensitive.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

43. stupidest thing i have read all day.

[Name removed]

33. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[masshole]

36. It's certainly not legal in Massachusetts!

In most states a husband can be charged with raping his wife.
http://www.ncmdr.org/state_law_chart.html

Prosecute the SOB!

[SPKrazy]

37. Dunno that its legal

but it is very hard to prosecute and very underreported I'm sure.

Mostly it is very WRONG to force sex on someone who says no, period, end of story.

I don't understand why some people don't get that.

:grr:

[MonkeyFunk]

40. Marital rape is a crime in all 50 states

and Massachusetts has no exemptions.

http://members.aol.com/ncmdr/state_law_chart.html

[Inchworm]

41. So I was trippin' on kitty pics and vibe requests..

then BAM rape.

I think rape is generally bad.

:hi: