Here's a question I bet none of you has EVER been asked.

[Midlodemocrat]

I, for one, sure never have been asked it.

Lots of family is winging their way southward for TM's graduation next month. Most are staying here with us. Mr. Midlo's sister just emailed me to ask if we will have enough toilet power?

Not sure what that even MEANS, let alone how to respond. I wonder if she thinks we go outside to use the bathroom. :wtf:

[Dr. Strange]

1. Do you have a square to spare?

I think that's the question.

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Apparently, she is under the impression that we use leaves.

Series. You can't make this shit (hahahahaha) up.

[arcadian]

25. Verbascum thapsus

If you must use leaves. Mullein works great. The leaves are soft and it grows as a weed in most waste areas and empty lots.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verbascum_thapsus

[Midlodemocrat]

26. Um, yeah. Not gonna happen.

[arcadian]

35. Okay, you don't like mullein, can I interest you in some Lamb's Ear?

;-) That name even SOUNDS like toilet paper. Very soft. Plant some now and it might be ready by the time she gets there. :rofl:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stachys_byzantina

[MilesColtrane]

55. But, that would be baaaah baaaaah baaaahd.

[AllegroRondo]

2. is she asking about low-flow toilets?

cuz some of those dont have enough power, and need a couple flushes to do the job.

[Midlodemocrat]

5. Now see, THAT would make sense. But alas, she's just certifiable.

[TZ]

4. ohh man...

I so think I know what was just asked...I don't want to lock this thread but..A certain member of my family is notorious for ummm clogging up somebodies toilet when he comes to visit..Its kind of a family joke now...:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

13. Don't worry about that.

DS1 will get it locked. He specializes in that kind of behavior. :eyes:

[Madrone]

22. That is exactly the thought I had.

"Toilet power" to me says in no uncertain terms .... :hurts: :nuke:

[Ilsa]

53. Passive aggressive person? nt

[Flaxbee]

6. lol! "Toilet power"

It's like a super power, only it's toilet power, instead. :rofl: I don't know why, but this cracks me up.

Probably just trying to calculate how many toilets are available... you never know, someone might have bladder or other issues, and needs to know he/she won't have to stand in line forever. And perhaps Mr. Midlo's sister just doesn't want to divulge anything too private, so she wanted to make sure there are enough potties. :D

[Midlodemocrat]

11. Weird thing is, she's been here plenty of times. She knows exactly

how many bathrooms, toilets we have.

If she had a sense of humor, I would think she was kidding, but alas, not the issue.

[KamaAina]

44. "Defeating evil with a single flush"

:rofl:

[datasuspect]

7. maybe she just takes big dumps.

[DS1]

8. Since they're headed south, it simply means they are better than you

and eat more fiber and cheese and drink more coffee. Their regular BMs, which is a rarity in Virginia, might be a sort of system shock to your above-ground septic tank. Don't try tell me you all ( or ya'll ) have actual sewer systems there.


edit: You know who else is constantly concerned about toilet power



That's right. Freepers.

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Listen you elitist Masshole.

We certainly DO have a sewer system. AND, I'm born and raised in CT, which is superior to Massachusetts in every conceivable way.

[DS1]

15. Except land mass, education rates, not being the exhaust filter for New York City

[Midlodemocrat]

17. What about being the exhaust filter for Boston?

How about that? :eyes:

[DS1]

23. Maine

[Parche]

9. You Look A Little Flush...

:blush: :blush: :hi: :hug:

[LeftyMom]

10. I guess she wants to make sure there won't be a line at the outhouse?

You can email her back and let her know that even there in the old confederacy, you have them fancy indoor water closets now.

[Midlodemocrat]

14. 3 even!

And, there won't even be an issue with showers for the event, because it's at 7PM!!!

:woohoo:

[LisaM]

16. Well, what you should do.....

is get all of your existing rolls down to about half, then pull them off. Put them aside until she comes.

The day she is set to arrive, hide all your packages of new toilet paper. Put half a roll on each spindle, and make sure there is no visible sign of any replacement TP. Act surprised if they look for more and say, "but there's plenty! How much do you USE?"

[Midlodemocrat]

19. I think she'd have a heart attack.

She's a bit, shall we say, different. And, not necessarily in a quirky fun loving way. More like the batshit crazy aunt in the attic way.

[quip]

18. What a shitty question to ask! If I were you, I'd be pissed!

:P

[LynzM]

20. I've been to places where this was an issue...

If you've got a septic system, you can't necessarily just quadruple the number of people using it without having... issues. Nice of her to make sure that it will be ok, although yeah, strange!

[Midlodemocrat]

21. No, we have sewers. Don't listen to DS1.

:eyes:

I just never would think to ASK that of someone when I was going to stay at their house.

[City of Mills]

24. Maybe she meant toilet PAPER?

Even still, probably not something I'd bother emailing someone about. :hurts:

[Midlodemocrat]

37. Series. Does she think I don't know how to purchase my own?

By the case from Costco, TYVM.

[Lars39]

27. This means she manages to overflow the toilet every place she goes.

:)

[DS1]

29. Is she the Clog Whisperer

[NJmaverick]

28. Better go out and buy a plunger, good gloves, googles and a face mask

[City of Mills]

30. Googles!

LOL :rofl:

[NJmaverick]

33. thank you mr helpy helper- goggles

[gilpo]

31. I think I know.... She meant that with SO many people using the septic system...

...will it be a problem... That's my take on it.

[Midlodemocrat]

32. We don't HAVE a septic system. We're civilized, not like DS1 and the other Massholes.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

42. Elitist sewer-bigot

But just in case, start saving the liners from boxes of wine.

:rofl:

[LynneSin]

34. Nevermind - I was thinking she was asking about toilet paper

:blush:

[Midlodemocrat]

36. Nice one, freeper.

:eyes:

[LynneSin]

38. My ears are CLOSED to you - you pre-cursor to the Anti-Christ

:grr:

[Midlodemocrat]

39. WOOHOO!!!!

:woohoo:

My work is done. I think I'll take a nap.

[madinmaryland]

40. I assume she is asking about whether you have a septic system or city sewer.

Otherwise just tell her that you have plenty of toilet tornados!!1!!

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

41. We've lived here for 17 years. She's been here countless times.

For all kinds of other family events. Not sure why she's so worried THIS time. :rofl:

[Bake]

43. Tell 'em you generally use sandpaper, and they should bring their own.

:rofl:

Bake

[Mutley]

45. Of course, you have to make sure you have no toilet paper in sight when they arrive.

:D

[sammythecat]

46. Can you handle a real life shitstorm?

Sounds almost a threat as much as weird question.

I think I'd be a little apprehensive about what was to come. :scared:

[GOPisEvil]

47. Well, there was this issue I had with matcom's toilet...

:yoiks:

[malta blue]

48. LOL ...

The ex Mr MB was raised in upstate NY on a property that had a septic system. He came from the school of "if it's yellow let it mellow..."

When we moved into our 1860 farmhouse that had a septic system, he informed all the men that they had to go au natural when possible.

This was strictly enforced when we had our frisbee golf tournaments.

:rofl::rofl:

good luck gf....

[triguy46]

49. Not in that many words, but our son has his way of challenging any plumbing system.

In fact, when we go to his maternal grandparents, we warn him not to "stress" their plumbing.

[Jamastiene]

50. Considering the fact that my step dad says I sound like I am cranking a lawn mower

when I pull the paper off (why he's listening to my bathroom trips, i don't know and I don't want to know), I would imagine they may use more toilet paper than most people? Maybe that's why they are asking?

[ghostsofgiants]

51. It the flush a little wussy flush or a powerful river of flushitude?

That's what they wanna know.

[Midlodemocrat]

66. Powerful river of flushitude.

Which she should know as she's only been here like a brazilian times. :eyes:

[ghostsofgiants]

68. In that case, what a weird question.

[Midlodemocrat]

69. Not as weird as this.

I emailed her to 'save the date' for the graduation. THen I put paper invites in the mail.

She emails me back that she didn't realize I was inviting her to the actual graduation? :wtf:

Did she think I was going to make her sit in the car?

[ghostsofgiants]

70. Hahaha, sounds like you've got your hands full with her.

[Midlodemocrat]

71. She's a flat out nutbag.

And, when she visits, I take the high road so much I have a perpetual nosebleed. :grr:

But, in the interest of family harmony, I do it. I'm a goddess. :rofl:

[ghostsofgiants]

75. Goddess sounds like an understatement.

:P

[krispos42]

77. And I bet...

she wants to know where to get the uniform when we get our new uniform ID cards?

:crazy:

[doc03]

52. They're full of shit n/t

[MilesColtrane]

54. Insist upon an American Standard™....it's "Madden Approved".

[jakefrep]

56. Is she doing one of those colon-purging treatments...

...they advertise on late-night TV?

[Midlodemocrat]

62. Oh, like I'm going ask her THAT.

No. Fucking. Way. :rofl:

[Haole Girl]

57. lol!

Maybe you should tell her she'll be fine if she doesn't eat heavy foods!

:rofl:

[mike_c]

58. moisten the seat and sit on it in the usual position to get a good seal...

...then flush. If your ears pop, you have sufficient toilet power.

[DarkTirade]

59. She might have a point.

Voltage is probably fine, but I'd say up the amperage on the seat until you've got a few gigawatts running through there.

[siligut]

60. She probably didn't know what to ask.

Maybe she is having some trouble and is self-conscious. You know that certain personalities affect the bowels. As people age, those with bowel troubles have more troubles. Perhaps this is why she would bring it up, not that the number of bathrooms you have has changed, but because she and her habits have changed.

Women particularly start having bladder trouble as they age, especially if the have children.

I am saying this from experience with an older relative, of course with my background and all, I got more information that needed, but I am here to help. Her concern this time may be due to the number of people who are staying with you and her troubles.

Put candles and matches, or lighters in all the bathrooms, and put your SIL in a room close to one. I suspect her question is more about her than it is about you.

[begin_within]

61. Tell her no you don't, and ask her to bring some.

[LaurenG]

63. My brother lives in a home with "low toilet power"

The sewer system can't handle large groups so he rents porta-potties during large extended gatherings. Maybe that's what she meant. :shrug:

[matcom]

64. you live in Virginia

she can go out in the woods like the rest of you do

[Midlodemocrat]

65. Oh, schmoopy. Where have you been?

I've missed being attacked by you. :rofl:

[texas1928]

67. Just tell her, yes...

We are adding three more spaces in the outhouse. So people can encourage each other.

[Blue Diadem]

72. Maybe she wants to bring her own porta potty?

BYOPP?

I'd email her back and tell her it's a BYOTP.

Seriously, did you ask her what she means? I'd never heard of such a thing as toilet power.

[Midlodemocrat]

73. No. I'm too afraid to.

I *think* she means that with all these folks staying here, we might have an issue. :wtf: Never had one before and the house is bigger than it was the last time she visited.

Oh, and did I mention she's flat out batshit crazy?

[krispos42]

74. "Cap'n, we dinna hae t'power!"

"I'm puttin' warp power to the toilets, but I dinna think she'll be able to hold!"

[Midlodemocrat]

76. Okay. Now that is funny.

:rofl:

[krispos42]

80. Is your main energizer bypassed like a Christmas tree?

That might be affecting your toilet power levels.

Don't give it too many bumps.

:crazy:

[Blue_Tires]

78. your SIL just earned the forever nickname of "The Unflushable"

[Midlodemocrat]

79. Ha. You should hear what WE call her.

:rofl:

[Taverner]

81. Toilet Power! - FUCK YEAH!