Should I go out in a blaze of glory?

[LeftyFingerPop]

My life fell apart today.

Vicodin and beer.

Lots of it.

Should I flame out?

I always push the envelope....work and play....always have.

Should I just fucking finally flame out?

Let me tell you....I am one hell of a good man. But I seem to get involved with people who fucking hate my guts. I have done shit you would not believe...good shit.

But, I don't boast. In here anyway.

That being said, I have some good friends who would kill for me.

I could tell you some things....

I have been in love. I'm not a casual sex type of guy....never have been.

I have been disillusioned this evening.,..see we can't always be perfect, me included. I have plenty of faults...but my actions serve me well and prove that I am good.

There are a lot of pricks in this world, but I am not one of them.

See, life has gotten too much for me. But this is not a suicide thread. I would never do that.

I do, however, want to help it along. I live a rough lifestyle...and no matter how caring or good I try to be...people disappoint me.

I hate what this country has become, and I hate how people treat each other. When you think you have found love, something slaps you in the dick and says "nope...you will get hurt".

And then people change on you and fuck you hard. And I mean HARD.

Then, you are left there in smoldering ruins.

So, should I flame out, or go out easy someday?

I don't know.

But, I'll tell ya this...if I did not have my mom to care for, I would be taking some risks and having some fun.

Because, fun is rare.

I've had it recently, but it's all gone now.

[Arctic Dave]

1. I think its always best to go out naturally. n/t

[Forkboy]

2. Is there a better way to go out?

If you're goin' down, take some with ya!

I may not be the best guy to ask these things.... :shrug:

[Canuckistanian]

7. Maybe not, in this case.

The OP is in distress.

Your solution is not the best.

[Forkboy]

37. Had I known his situation I would have answered differently, or not at all.

It's tough to know what's a joke in the Lounge and what isn't. I hadn't read his other threads when I responded, and I'm sure he's smart enough to understand that.

[LeftyFingerPop]

38. Hey forkboy!!!

It's ok man...and I understood. :pals:

[Forkboy]

39. Thank you very much.

I truly meant no harm, and was being my usual wise ass self. I honestly hope things are ok with you.

Thanks, man. :pals:

[LeftyFingerPop]

41. From one wise ass to another...

I enjoy your posts.

Thank you forkboy.

[Canuckistanian]

42. You are wise in the way of Lounge

I defer to your knowledge.

And apparently, so does philboy.

[redwitch]

27. Incredibly stupid response.

Use your head.

[Forkboy]

36. You know what?

Deal.

I'd rather someone gave me this response than a canned, "we all care" BS one. I don't follow philboy's life, and I'm sure he doesn't follow mine. I saw this thread and made a comment in a total kidding frame of mind. I'm sure he's adult enough to take it as such. Had I seen his other threads tonight I may have responded differently, but I didn't. I'm not a Lounge Lizard...I don't keep track of everyone's latest problems. I'm sorry he's going through what he's going through, but I didn't do a search of his posts before responding.

[greenbriar]

3. I have felt how you do right now

but family is always what keeps my perspective

[Chan790]

4. No need to flame-out...

but it sounds like you need to completely cut-loose (in your own way) and get the sad/bad/evil out. Worry about the consequences and problems later when you have a day's perspective and distance on them.

[styersc]

5. I completely misunderstood the title.

I thought you were asking if you should go out in a "blazer of glory"! Not knowing what a "blazer of glory" might look like I dropped in with the hope that you would have a photo.

I am a fan of men dressing up when we go out. I feel that most men, including myself, go out sort of scruffy looking and I was hopeing that this thread was an attempt to turn the trend around.

Maybe you should lose all the self-pity, near suicidal talk and concentrate on improving your wardrobe. We wouldn't have to worry about you and the possibility of a suicide thing going on while at the same time raising the average look of the modern American male.

Or you could buy one of those Wi things. A friend of mine said they have a bowling game.

[redwitch]

26. Your lack of compassion is stunning.

nt

[flvegan]

6. Line 2: Vicodin and beer.

So my answer is no.

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. You have no idea flvegan.

[flvegan]

28. No, I don't.

And I'd never suggest I did.

However, it seems (at least to me) from your OP that you're living quite a bit for others and not for you.

That, that I do get.

[LeftyFingerPop]

32. Well flvegan...

I am only happy when I am making others happy.

Now, I have made someone unhappy and I am completely devastated because it is against my nature.

I don't think it can be fixed because the person I made unhappy is relating this specific incident to past relationships that have nothing to do with how I am as a person.

So, I am stuck...I can't fix it.

[flvegan]

40. We

are a lot alike, I think in these regards.

I'm an enabler to the nth degree as well. You?

[SallyMander]

9. Things will get better

And someone might be where you are someday - and they will need your perspective. :hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

18. they won't....

but thank you.

50 years, and every year they get worse. :hug:

[khashka]

10. No

Life isn't easy. I used to think about going out in a fountain of blood (mine), but even when it's bad there are still things worth living for. And you never know what will happen next - could be awfull, but could be wonderful, ya never know.

Khash.

[greatauntoftriplets]

11. We care about you. Drugs and booze are never a good mix.

Please call the number listed below.

1-800-784-2433

greatauntoftriplets
DU moderator

[LeftyFingerPop]

15. No suicide risk here....but thank you. n/t

[ZombieHorde]

12. Sounds like it ts time to watch some campy movies.

Or take up yoga.

[SPKrazy]

13. We all go soon enough philboy

despite the better to burn out than fade away view... I'd say this... your life is your life, you've done good things... there may be more to do... don't let it go right now.

I'm sorry you are so hurt, and sad, and all the other melting pot of emotions you seem to be feeling tonight. I can read between the lines and figure out what is going on.

Deep breaths... as you say "be strong", you will help people and you may not even know it.

Don't flame out...

fading away happens on its own.

stay with us

:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

14. I've been very strong....

my whole life.

I have put others before me, to this day.

I can't anymore.

[SPKrazy]

16. Then be strong for you

no one is worth flaming out over man

:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

19. Someone is. n/t

[SPKrazy]

20. I think you are hurting today

and that will pass

and you'd never tell someone else that was true I don't think.

So I'm officially kickin' your ass!

no one is...worth flaming out over...ever

[LeftyFingerPop]

22. You know what?

I will fucking abuse myself, and I will be here 20 years fron now, suffering like a motherfucker, but I will be here.

I'm strong. I'm very strong. But my mind is horribly fucked. It runs in the family.

If I can change someone's life for the better, then I will be happy.

But. I'm not doing a good job lately.

The person I shared everything with hates my fucking guts.

[SPKrazy]

23. and that happens

this too shall pass

head to bed soon

stop the vicodin and alcohol express 'cause its making you morose

you've been there for me at times

I'm grateful that you were... now I'm telling you to go to bed, sleep it off.

:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

24. SPK....

I have nothing good anymore.

It's all gone.

But I will awake in the morning, and take care of my mom. Because that is what I do.

[SPKrazy]

33. Well then that's what you do

and you work on having something good again...

personally I think you are mistaken, but hell, not gonna argue it... bed...get up and take care of mom...work on having something good again...

I mean you can drink yourself into an early grave, or swallow vicodin and drink and go sooner, but it probably won't be a blaze of glory, more like a fade away in your sleep kind of thing.

Don't really want to see you do that, and hope you don't my friend. No ONE is worth doing that over, ya hear me? NO ONE!

You take care of your mom. You take care of you. Your life will get better when you stop thinking it won't. Also your ass will look better because it won't have a fucking ring around it from sitting on a pity pot!

Now go to bed. Check in with me tomorrow and tell me how you are.

and don't tell me "its all gone", 'cause I effing know better than that! "It" didn't come with her, "it" was there with you already. If she has decided that she doesn't want "it", that doesn't mean "it" is useless or worthless. It just means that she and "it" have parted ways. (did that make any sense?)

good night philboy

:hug:

[badgerpup]

34. Aw, man....

You sound as though your whole damn world has fallen out from under you...again...and you're kind of balanced between pain and disgust and you've had it to HERE.

It sucks...I wish I could tell you I've been there (I have) and you just do THIS to make it stop and feel better...but I never found anything that worked except time...and that takes so damn long.

Did this once though...wrote out my suicide ON PAPER (way back in the Stone Ages...just hit fifty last year meself).
Stressing this because NO ACTION WAS TO BE TAKEN, just something to get the thoughts out of my head so they'd stop bugging me.
It didn't stop the pain of what had brought me to that point, but it did clear out the thoughts and I was able to proceed.
Saved it for when I was lowest, read it over...and for some screwed up reason it seemed to help.

And...if I may proffer some advice...it's not a good idea to make important decisions or take action while on any kind of painkillers. :hug:

[Boojatta]

17. "should I flame out, or go out easy someday?"

The Wright Brothers made their contribution by a combination of unconventional boldness, and a steady, conventional lifestyle. Their bicycle repair shop made it possible for them to design airplanes, build them, and make test flights. Without income from repairing bicycles and a certain amount of leisure time, they couldn't have bought the raw materials and transformed those materials into airplanes.

[Pierre.Suave]

21. Of course not

Other people will be themselves, there is absolutely nothing you can do about them. Just take your hits and move on.

Do not under any circumstances "flame out" In fact, it may be a good idea to put down the beer and vicodin right now and stop tonight, go get a good nights sleep and let it just be.

You have no control over other people, do not let them have control over you either.

Also, we would miss you here.

:hug:

[zingaro]

25. I do not know

the extent of what is going on in your life but it sounds like you're really hurting. And that is something to which I can relate.

It's so hard to find out someone you love isn't who you thought they were. It's so hard to find out something you thought was one thing really is another. It's so hard to be disillusioned, to feel fooled and fucked over.

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I can't fix it, or even say anything to make it better. But I am sorry, because I know a little of how that feels and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So have a cybersqueeze from me, OK? I hope tomorrow is a little better. :hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

29. Thank you....

:hug:

It is like this....

I got upset over something.

It escalated.

And now, I am alone and nothing good I have done is being considered.

I have pride, and I'm trying to balance this all out...I make mistakes as a human...we all do...but I guess I am not allowed to.

So I was dumped.

And, I'm not happy about it.

[zingaro]

35. So not only

disillusioned but discounted, too? Yeah, it sucks to be made to feel Less. I understand that too.

I will say that love should not make you feel Less than. And I'll add that it's really easy for me to say that, and ever so exquisitely hard for you to change how you feel about that.

And still more :hug: Tomorrow will be a different day. You'll have to decide how to move forward. And it's OK to make those choices.

[The Straight Story]

30. Not sure of what troubles you directly

But know that you have friends here you can talk to.

Been through some damned rough times myself these last few years to the point I hated myself and sometimes still do, so I get the general direction from which you are coming.

Been there before years ago as well. It is a rollercoaster where at times we want to get off and then at others we are enjoying the ride so much we hope it never ends.

In those bad times we have to live for the hope of the good ones and stay on the ride, else we will never hit that next joyous moment that will wash away the stains and pains that have left us feeling so bad.

If life can get no worse, then the only left for it is to be better. And that is hope.

[yellowdogintexas]

43. just be sure you dilute the beer and vicodin with lots of water

before you go to sleep.

I would like to slap the shit out of the person to whom you referred in your earlier posts, the person whose welfare is worrying you more than your own

hang in there, you don't need to leave yet.

[Fox Mulder]

31. I know how you're feeling.

:(

:hug: