Woman held for raping man.

[ohiosmith]

Woman held for raping man in Stockholm
Published: 27 May 08 18:03 CET

A 41-year-old woman in being held by police in Stockholm on suspicions of raping a 30-year-old man who went home with her after the two met at an area pub on Monday night.

According to police, the two were hungry and under the influence of alcohol as they made their way home from the bar.

“She invited him up for a little midnight snack,” Towe Hägg of the Stockholm police told The Local.

Once getting the man up to her place, the woman began to make sexual advances toward the man, which he resisted

http://www.thelocal.se/12046.html

[hiaasenrocks]

1. Strange, the headline says "Women"

[ohiosmith]

2. My bad. The original article referenced several cases.

[hiaasenrocks]

5. Wait. I wasn't directing that at your title. Sorry for the confusion. It's just a weird headline

"women held for raping man" when there was only one woman. Just a typo on their part, I'm sure, but the headline sure makes the story sound more interesting.

[undeterred]

15. Did she want to be "held" afterwards?

[Zuiderelle]

3. I don't QUITE understand how it's possible to perform oral sex on an unwilling person who's awake.

Did she tie him up first? Is she twice his size? I suppose there are always anomalies like this, but I can't even begin to fathom that this is entirely true.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

11. Perhaps you've never heard of a handy instrument called a "weapon"

:eyes:

[Zuiderelle]

13. I would think that if she had a weapon it would have mentioned it in the article.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

23. That really doesn't have much to do with the statement in your title. (nt)

[Zuiderelle]

30. What are you talking about?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

37. WTF? I directly answered you.

You said you couldn't understand how a woman could orally rape a man, wondering if she was twice his size or if he was tied up. My statement was in very direct response. I really have no clue how you can't understand what I'm talking about. If a woman has a weapon, it doesn't matter how big the guy is, does it?

[Zuiderelle]

39. And I answered. Why are you being hostile?

I said that I thought they would have mentioned if there was a weapon involved. In other stories linked there, there were weapons involved and they were mentioned.

So, Yes, I have heard of weapons, and if she had one then yes, of course, I understand how it could have happened. I don't understand your hostility toward me though.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

42. The hostility stems from the notion that a woman couldn't possibly rape a man.

At least not without extenuating circumstances. Which is precisely where you seem to be coming from with your posts. If the genders were reversed, would you be confused in the slightest as to how it might even be possible?

[Zuiderelle]

44. No, because it happens all the time the other way around, and it's pretty clear how.

I think I've made it pretty clear by now, if you read my other posts, that I believe it happened, so it's not a question of whether I believe it or not. I am simply curious to know the details. And there aren't many details in the article.

All this strange exchange aside, it's horrible that he was raped and I feel very sorry for him.

[Dr. Strange]

Who knows? Does it matter?

If he said, "No," shouldn't that be enough? These are issues that come up on occasion here in America. (Although usually with women as the victim. Did she "fight" or "struggle" and if not, is it rape?)

In addition, they were under the influence. I don't know what the law is in Sweden, but in America, if you have sex with someone who's drunk, you open yourself up for accusations of rape.

Legally speaking, this could be an interesting case.

[Zuiderelle]

19. I'm just curious how it happened. Of course him saying no should be enough, if that's what happened

[redqueen]

27. Exactly. There's no avoiding the "WTF" factor here

no matter how PC we try to be.

[khashka]

29. A woman can rape a man

even if she's half his size, if she knows what she's doing. She can overpower him. And his body may respond while his will does not. It's very rare, but it happens now and again.

Don't know about this one though.

Khash.

[Zuiderelle]

33. I'm sure it happens, as apparently it did here. I am curious as to the details though.

[IronLionZion]

62. I'll try not to get deleted when explaining this

alcohol was involved and some women are very strong and/or have crafty ways of doing things, keep that in mind.

One plausible scenario. They were drunk and she was fooling around with him and maybe even started to loosen his pants a bit. Then when he said no, she could have quickly pulled them down and put it in her mouth. You are a woman so you might not understand the ramifications of this situation. But I certainly can. When your sensitive bits are in someone's mouth, you are in a very dangerous predicament with the serious risk of injury. That could limit his fighting back considerably. Men can get badly bruised or bleed from rough oral sex.

Now, just about everyone loves to receive oral sex...when they are in the mood for it. If you don't want it but someone forces it on you anyway, it can feel terrible depending on your mental state. That can be a very bad experience and will leave you feeling vulnerable and ashamed and used. It's a common misconception that men always want sex. That's completely bullshit. If you get it when you don't want it, it can be pure hell. Sexually assaulting someone against his/her will is rape, no matter who the victim or the attacker.

[madeline_con]

66. Well, yes, there's that to consider. n/t

[Parche]

4. NROG

:woohoo: :hi:

[redqueen]

6. She performed oral sex against his will? Successfully?

Really?

on edit: yeah if like PelosiFan guessed she tied him up first... that'd make sense. Still though... wtf?

[Name removed]

7. Deleted message

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[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

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[khashka]

35. She could have

If she had him in the right grip so he couldn't fight back or was afraid to. And penises respond to friction and wetness and warmth, regardless of their owner's thoughts. So it's possible.


Khash.

[redqueen]

36. Yeah... hadn't thought of that... that she had him by the short ones, literally.

Guess he must've got so drunk he didn't realize what was goin on till it was too late.

[khashka]

45. From the few cases I've known

It's usually a choke hold, cutting off his breathing. And this isn't a laughing matter... there are few enough resources for women rape victims and almost none at all for men. Sorry, hit a nerve as a rape survivor. I wasn't raped by a woman, but a male serial killer, so I don't see the humour.

But I get it. That's often what guys say about the girls they raped. And it makes me sick, violation is violation. And it's not funny.

Khash.

[redqueen]

46. What humor?

I think any implied "humor" in this story was from the blowjob. Cause many guys would (or at least act like they would) take one from just about anyone, and... well it seems like people just like to talk about blowjobs.

What do you get? I hope you don't think I was trying to make jokes. I was just trying to figure out wtf happened.

What do guys say about the girls they raped?

[khashka]

48. Sorry, redqueen

I know you're not the sort of person who would make rape into a joke. Just I'm way too over sensitive on this topic. If you wake yourself up screaming or crying every night, you become so. So I react too strongly.

What do guys say about the girls they raped?

That they asked for it, that they wanted it, that no really means yes. Any excuse, really. And the person who was raped usually believes that too.

Courtney Love:

"When she was asking for it, did she ask you twice?
When she was asking for it, did she ask you nice?"


It just hits me hard, but I"m sorry if I offended you or anything.

Khash.

[redqueen]

49. Oh gosh no sweetie...

:(

You made me cry... I know too well exactly what you mean... re: waking up, crying... *sigh*

I'm sorry this thread made you recall all that. But I thank you for explaining to me how this is possible... how it happens. I really didn't understand at first, and I'm sorry if I was insensitive in my cluelessness.

[khashka]

73. Oh, sweetheart

You weren't insensitive, not your style at all. As for clueless - well, unless you've dealt with male rape victims (or are planning on raping a guy or have already done it or are one yourself) why should you know? There is some information you don't want in your head.

I'm sorry for flying off the handle at you. I'd read too many posts in this thread that treated male rape as a joke. And it reached the point I had to strike back. I've gone back and read what you said. You weren't making a joke of it.

But you have nothing to be sorry for. It's I who needs to apologize. But I think you understand why I did. But it is I who should say I'm sorry, not you.

Khash.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. since we dont know much else about this, i am going to side with the victim

as i would in any other rape situation

[Zuiderelle]

17. Good point.

:thumbsup:

[Forkboy]

20. That's my rule on these things too.

[IronLionZion]

22. agreed, and gender should have nothing to do with it

and I have no reason to doubt that it happened against the victim's will.

[lukasahero]

28. I absolutely agree

Too bad we don't see this type of positive reaction your post is receiving here when women are the victims. Then it's all "innocent until proven guilty" (oddly enough by some of the very same people posting in defense of the victim in this case...)

As I am not in a position to indict the accused, I see no reason not to support the victim and allow the law to uncover the truth.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

32. to be fair male rape is rare, and rarer still that women commit rape.

i think its a question of educating and informing people that male rape can occur and that erections do not necessarily equate to arousal neither does ejaculation.

i did a lot of research of male to male rape and found that the system cannot deal with male rape victims at all. that on top of the fact that men who have been raped often ejaculate, making it an embarrassing issue for them.

we live in a crappy world.

[redqueen]

38. No we don't. There are some crappy people in it...

but it's a lovely world.

[NewJeffCT]

54. You can have female on male as well

though, I am sure it is rare.

But, men can often get aroused while sleeping - if a woman were to have sex with the aroused sleeping man without his consent, I would think it might be considered rape in some situations.

I was in a situation like that before where a woman attempted that with me.

It did not bother me at the time and still does not.

But I thought about it afterwards and what if this person was somebody I did not want to have sex with?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

55. that was my point. it can and does happen but since its rare people

dont always react to it the way you wished they did. :)

[NewJeffCT]

57. I know

the stunning thing to me was that somebody actually wanted me that badly they had to try while I was sleeping and couldn't wait until I woke up, or they woke me up...

[HEyHEY]

10. It can happen, I have a friend who was raped by a woman.

He was really drunk. But, still had it up because of what was going on. But he couldn't fight her off. Really kind of disturbed him for awhile.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

12. It's sad how people seem to think getting an erection is always a voluntary thing.

Granted the logistics are always easier to understand how a woman could be raped, but to think it doesn't or can't happen to a man is ridiculous.

[HEyHEY]

16. I know, eh... just cause it's up doesn't mean you want it to be

It's not like it's hardwired into your conscience. What do they think mornign wood is?

[Zuiderelle]

14. That sounds awful. I guess it's hard for men to report that to the police.

I hope your friend is ok.

[HEyHEY]

18. He's fine now - however, sadly, that WAS how he lost his virginity.

[Zuiderelle]

21. I'm sorry to hear that. What a horrible thing to happen.

My first sexual experience (as a child) was also an unwilling one. I know how that feels, and it stays with you forever.

[IronLionZion]

24. That site has an article where a woman raped another woman as well.

http://www.thelocal.se/11926/20080522/

[redqueen]

25. Yeah... at knifepoint... after the male accomplice raped her, too.

Guy's still at large.

Fuckin hell.

[Zuiderelle]

26. That's really really really awful.

:(

[Book Lover]

31. Why is this in the Lounge?

It's neither funny nor lighthearted.

[IndianaJones]

34. its light and airy. nt.

[Book Lover]

40. Thanks for your content-free reply

Rape is just hilarious :sarcasm:

[IndianaJones]

41. who exactly are you angry with? nt.

[Book Lover]

47. That's a pretty long list, friend

If you intended sarcasm in your original reply to me, I apologize for not getting it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

43. umm i thnk you just misread sarcasm. nt

[hiaasenrocks]

50. Then move on to another thread. It's not that difficult.

It's odd news, certainly, which lends itself to being funny, if in a quirky way.

Humor, oddities, etc. are in the eye of the beholder.

[Book Lover]

51. You know what? Rape is never funny.

Never ever. You can, obviously, think whatever you want, about this story and about me, but it is all of you who laugh at this revolting violation, who are contemptible.

DU is really getting to be a disgusting place to be.

[hiaasenrocks]

52. Well, we view this story (and how it was presented) differently. But at least

your earnestness and outrage make up for those of us who are contemptible. Thank you for being there.

[IronLionZion]

61. There's a huge double standard in regards to gender

all sorts of people think prison rape is funny when it happens to men.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

63. thats also homophobic which is frequently rooted in sexism

[lukasahero]

71. Most of the people who take rape seriously when it happens to women,

take it seriously when it happens to men. Those who think it's funny when it happens to men don't really take it seriously when it happens to women either. Many who think it's funny think it could never happen to them. They're the same type as those who talk about how women should learn self-defense to avoid being raped - they say these things to make themselves feel safer, superior. But like whistling past the graveyard, it's an illusion.

[I Have A Dream]

65. I agree; rape is *NEVER* funny.

x(

[NJmaverick]

74. Rape is never funny, never was and never will be

end of story

[Chan790]

53. Because...

it's something worthy of discussion and because it doesn't really fit well anywhere else. Personally it seems like a GD topic...but man could you imagine the shit-storm if this was in GD? It'd be the provocation of one of the largest mass-tombstonings in DU history.

Sorry...these things need to be talked about...not hidden in the closet. The more they're talked about...the less shameful they'll become...the sooner people will be aware of the issue...laws can be changed to face the reality that this happens...and possibly victims will be comfortable seeking justice. All victims of sex-crimes deserve justice.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

56. ...

:thumbsup:

[Dr. Strange]

58. In that case...

post it in GD-P. There's a serious need of tombstoning in that Forum!

[Chan790]

59. Nah...

it would just end up moving back here. Then we'd have to deal with the infestation.

[IronLionZion]

60. The lounge crowd are decent enough to handle it

GD would ruin it. The folks there are very stubborn about their pet issues and viewpoints.

And yes these things do need to be talked about because they do happen. It's still too embarrassing for many of the victims to report it or even feel like victims. Men are supposed to be tough about these things and are often shamed if people find out. It's still sexism if the issue is handled differently because of the victim's gender.

[Lyric]

64. Because there are lots of times when Loungers

are calmer and more rational than GD'ers. Therefore, there can be more productive discussion and less screeching and foot-stomping.

[Name removed]

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[lukasahero]

69. Wow - did you really think after reading this thread

that this would be an appropriate response?

Lame, dude, really lame.

[Elidor]

70. Oh, is there a flame war up there? I didn't get that far.

And I'm not terribly concerned about it, either.

[Name removed]

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