Dude, I should totally apply for this job.

[LeftyMom]

http://sacramento.craigslist.org/npo/723059984.html

:rofl:

[DarkTirade]

1. You're just looking for some underaged poontang, aren't you?

:P

[LeftyMom]

4. Oh no. The Holy Technical Virgins only do blowjobs and anal.

Only. :rofl:

[DarkTirade]

6. ... so where can I meet one of these Holy Technical Virgins?

[LeftyMom]

8. Schools in Abstinance-Only states, fundie churches, etc.

I got asked out on a date by a baptist youth minister once. I was seventeen at the time. Fundies are freaky people. :rofl:

[DarkTirade]

10. What about catholic churches?

I kinda like that whole plaid skirt thing. :shrug:

:P

[Radical Activist]

16. Hey, sign me up for that.

lol

[flvegan]

2. Yeah, its just screams you.

:eyes:

[LeftyMom]

5. I was a virgin once.

I got better. :D

[DS1]

3. It's time for the lounge to invent a fake resume for you to send in

I say the name "Fuckmaster B." would be a good start

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. Duties & Responsibilities

• Willingness and ability to make shit up when facts don't support Proud To Wait's agenda (i.e. always) and especially the ability to make shit up on the spur of the moment — like when some zit machine asks you about the failure rate of condoms, you must be able to say firmly and convincingly, "One hundred percent."

• (For men) Ability to refrain from pitching a tent while addressing a group of troubled youths with a crop-topped slutteen in the front row whose yabbos should have "Voit" tattooed on them.

• Educate and refer teens appropriately to other resources or services, i.e. fundamentalist churches. (Tent revivals acceptable with portable crucifixion re-enactment.)

• Demonstrated ability to refrain from squirming or vomiting when holding up a jar with a kielbasa left in the trunk of a car parked at the Elk Grove Wal-Mart for 83 days while saying, "This is what happens to your... mmmmm, boy thing if you get an erection."

[LeftyMom]

9. !

:rofl:

[Chan790]

11. I might actually apply.

On paper, I look like a good candidate with my experience in NPOs, 6 semesters of Theology and my B.A. from the only papal-chartered university in the US. The fact that the Supreme Knight of the K of C would write me a recommendation can't hurt. :evilgrin:

Of course...I don't have to tell anybody here that hiring me would be a very bad idea on their part.

Handjobs for Jesus! Can I get a Hallelujah!

[LeftyMom]

12. "Jesus has a plan for your life and your sexuality.

That plan includes buttsecks."

[DarkTirade]

13. ... I am so converting.

[Robeson]

14. I'm still trying to get past the "volunteer" and "paid"....

...:shrug:

[LeftyMom]

15. I figure that's a way to get around working somebody enough hours it comes out to less than minimum

:shrug:

[Radical Activist]

17. Also what I was wondering.

[tigereye]

18. yup, referral for birth control definitely not in the cards there...

good lord.


I think you would be a great antidote to this bizarre kind of thinking, actually.


:patriot:

[CreekDog]

19. must one be abstinent to apply?

:rofl: