What type of funeral do you want, when you die?

[neoteric lefty]

I am a young guy, (in my 20s) so I am not expecting to leave this world anytime soon. However, I have been to too many funerals (including my fathers) in my short time here. I think most funerals are traditional, quiet and a place of solace. I respect the tradition of our culture but I can't stand being in a down room like that and when I die, I hope to have something different. My ideal funeral (I know it sounds morbid to be talking about this, but I think it quite normal) is have a short wake and burial (everyone in casual clothing because I want to die at the end of summer) and then everyone to my backyard to have a grand ol' party. I don't want a somber remembrance of my death, I want a loud, fun celebration of my life that all my friends and family can enjoy. I want them all to be hanging out in the backyard, bar-b-que going, some jimmy buffett and others playing on the stereo with some tiki torches and such. I want people to remember that I was a pretty good person (hopefully :) ) who loved to have fun and tell funny stories about our lives together :toast: . I want everyone's last memory of me on this Earth to be of a great time had by all.

Thats not asking a lot is it??? :headbang:

[SoCalDem]

1. I don't want one at all

cremate me.. and do whatever :)

Go out to eat , and say nice things about me..

move on :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. i will be cremated and want belly dancers

at the ceremony and not a word about God!

[arwalden]

8. Much The Same, Except No Belly Dancers. -- DEFINITELY NO GOD... NO JESUS..

And plenty of disco music. Preferably the theme from Car Wash by Rose Royce.

-- Allen

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. but belly dancers are so pretty (EOM)

[arwalden]

45. I'm Thinking Drag Queens And Go-Go Boys...

... might be a decent alternative.

-- Allen

[La Lioness Priyanka]

47. that is true...

i think both those will work well...male and female bellydancers for my death i say...

[Loonman]

3. Cremation ASAP

So necrophiliac morticians don't mess with my corpse, then throw the ashes into the ventilation system of a skyscraper, so I can have the last laugh.

[Bucky]

46. Four words: Soilent Green is People!

When I tell someone to "eat me" I want it to mean something

[TlalocW]

4. I want to be...

Frozen in carbonite like Han Solo and plunked down in the middle of whatever town/city I was living in.

Either that or cremated and mixed into the plastics to make juggling clubs - juggling being a hobby. And I want the package to list me as being part of the process. :)

On Edit:
Oh, just remembered another scenario - Eaten by my bereaved and the mortician with baby carrots and broccoli (said broco-lie) then thrown up into a hole dug in the ground. It beats being dumped in the Thames. (Thank you, Monty Python)

TlalocW

[Kamika]

5. As long as people remember ME as being a great person...

Being really nice.. and remembering all the good I did..and hopefully have a bunch of grandkids etc..


Aslon as they remember the person I was.. I don't care about the funeral..

They can just dump me in a hole somewhere with a nice tombstone (not too expensive) and spend the money on toys for my grandkids instead.


I think I'll tell my future kids to do that :D

[Beer Snob-50]

6. I also want to be cremated

and then I have asked my wife or kids to drop some of the ashes onto the field at Fenway Park or whereever the Sox are playing at that time. IN the meantime I love the idea of a fun party to remember me by.

[BOSSHOG]

7. Jazz Funeral

Cremate me; Parade my ashes down bourbon street in a horsedrawn carriage with Jazz Bands playing to and fro; then party all night long and be happy that for a time I was alive on this planet. I do have a special place I want my ashes (put on display).

[TXlib]

9. Eat me.

I bet I'd make some tasty BBQ!

[jimbo fett]

35. You've been watching too much Monty Python.

I love that sketch with the funeral director suggests they eat the guy's dead mother!

[pagerbear]

10. I've planned the music

• Byrd, Mozart and Elgar settings of Ave verum corpus


• John Ireland's Greater Love ("Many waters cannot quench love")


• Charles Stanford's Beati quorum via est

Yes, I'm an Anglican choir queen. You got sumptin' to say about dat?

[jus_the_facts]

11. Cremation....and have my ashes released......

.....at a local lake I spent a LOT of time on growin' up...with some of my favortie songs to be played. :)

Fade To Black~Metallica
Fly To The Angels~Slaughter
Thank You~Led Zeppelin
Wish You Were Here~Pink Floyd
The Rose~Bette Midler
Silent Lucidity~Queensryche

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

12. I want to be cremated too

I want to be cremated and have my ashes released into the ocean right in front of Cape Hatteras Lighthouse , yes I do :) I don't want any of my family members to be sad , it was life and I made it through it : I won .

[Exultant Democracy]

13. I want a big party, live music, open bar, the works.

Then, do you remember those tall carts that they used to wheel TVs around in school, I want them to put a tux on one of those, and then on the TV have home movies of me playing in a loop. This way I can get one last party in.

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. I love the TV stand idea!

That's brilliant!

[Exultant Democracy]

24. If there is some technically feasible way to do it

I would like to have it motorized with a drink tray attached to it so that it would move its way around the party.

[Rabrrrrrr]

26. And maybe occasionally throw up and stumble into someone

perhaps?

That is a really neat idea to have the videos of you playing, but not in a way that everyone HAS to watch it, like at some weddings and graduation parties, but there for those who want to watch and see.

[DEM FAN]

14. Cremation Is What I Want. I Want My Ashes Put Some Where In My Home

State Of Vermont. :-)

[NoPasaran]

15. Viking funeral for me please

It beats the deal Ted Williams got.

[hatrack]

39. Cast adrift in a burning longship would also be my first choice

My second would be to have my corpse abandoned atop a Zoarastrian pyramid for the vultures to devour.

[EstimatedProphet]

57. Me too

I've already told all my friends to plan for this-I want a Viking funeral, lay me out in a boat with one or two of my swords, set it adrift, and shoot flaming arrows at it.
Also, I want them to play Brain Damage/Eclipse from Dark Side of the Moon, and Ripple.
My SO is totally horrified by this.

[southerngirlwriter]

16. my friends (most of whom are musicians)

are under strict instructions to:

1.) Show up at whatever monstrosity my parents decide to hold and announce that they want to sing in my honor. Then they will play the Green Day song "When I Come Around" (a wonderful funeral song if you really listen to it) and

2.) After my parents' monstrosity is done, they are to adjourn to a certain place in town (not telling where, don't ask) and throw one hell of a party.

:party: :party: :party: "(My name)'s dead!" :party: :party: :party:

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Funeral parties are cool. :D

[papau]

17. I told my relatives to surprise me!

:-)

[felonious thunk]

18. Whatever will comfort those who love me

I want them to do whatever will make them feel good. What I want then is irrelevant. I'd just want my loved ones to do whatever they felt like they needed.

[pagerbear]

25. Exactly!

Those we leave behind need some sort of event to commemorate our lives and deaths. The same way we need public rites for other important stages in life--birth, coming of age, marriage, etc. My humble opinion is that denying our loved ones that experience makes it much more difficult for them to deal with the grief of our passing.

[DoNotRefill]

19. Viking....

me, piled in a boat, covered with fuel, and set out to sea.

[Exgeneral]

53. me too

only you can light mine....:)

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. I want the entire nation in mourning, for a period of one year,

with everyone wearing sackcloth, covering their heads with ashes, and gnashing their teeth. Every morning will be a nationally mandated one hour broadcast of The Teachings Of Rabrrrrr. At the end of the year on the National Mall in DC will be a ritualistic sacrifice of all babies born that year, thus giving a living memorial to my memory of an entire year's worth of missing people: so that in five years, there will be no kindergartners, in 18 years, no incoming college freshman, etc., and people will remember my name in perpetuity.

Not really, but the narcissistic side of me thinks that's kind of cool.

What I'd really like is to be cremated, do a little memorial service that's a celebration of life, and then a big ol' party of happiness and fun and talking story. I haven't decided yet where I want my ashes spread, though. I'm thinking Kilauea, but somehow I want my ashes returned to the earth from which they came. I think burying bodies in hermetically sealed coffins is environmentally wrong, and quite likely theologically wrong (as I see it). The body is but a shell, and should be returned to the earth, either burned and ready for mixing with the dirt, or buried so as to decay and rot and turn into dirt.

But mostly I want celebration and fun and happiness. maybe a concert of Mahler's No. 2 also done in my memory, but at the memorial party, let it be free jazz and an open bar and lots of space (and low enough volume) that people can talk story and have a blast and remember, at least that day, that life is precious and should be lived.

[Hoosier Democrat]

22. I wanna go out in style!

I want my funeral to be a good trip down memory lane, not some sob-filled grief fest.

I want my friends to tell THE TRUTH in their eulogies. None of this "We have lost a great person" crap. Tell them about the time we got drunk and puked in a mailbox. It's a good laugh!!!

I do NOT want ANY black clothing at my funeral. I want bright colors. For me, death will be a happy occasion! It will reunite me with the true guiding star of my life, who passed on too soon.

I want GOOD music at the service: Annie Lennox "Into the West", "The Prayer of St. Francis", and "Circle of Life". As you wheel me out of the Church, please play "Spirit in the Sky" (I want Heaven to be like it was on Drew Carey!)

Finally, put me in the family crypt with the others and go off and have a PARTY. I'll leave the money for the food and bar bill, so knock yourselves out!


OR, if I'm too badly messed up for a viewing, just cremate me and stick my ashes in the coffee pot at the Republican National Committee.

:kick:

[neoteric lefty]

33. amen on

the "no black" clothing rule. Death shouldn't be looked upon as a loss in your own life when some else dies; at least when are around abunch of family and friends. I feel thats somewhat selfish. We should celebrate that person and his/her life and their accomplishments on this Earth. It should a celebration about the person, not a mourning of ourselves. At least for that one day. That is what I want.

[myopic4141]

23. I wish

to be cremated, have the ashes taken to 20,000 ft, and dispersed into the atmosphere. I am going to get into someone's eye after I die.

[Whitacre D_WI]

27. Don't care about the funeral.

Just want my corpse to be stuffed and mounted, grizzly-style!

[mistertrickster]

28. The CHEAP kind. Buried in a flimsy, pine box, that would really

bother me, except I'll be DEAD.

So I won't care . . .

[buddhamama]

29. no funeral, no party

cremation and a quiet send off is all i want.

[DinahMoeHum]

30. Cremation, plant a tree, . . .and throw an island-style party !!

1) Scatter the ashes in the waters of New York harbor, near the Statue of Liberty.

2) A tree, not a tombstone, please.

3) Party with lots of Jimmy Buffett music, BBQ, and booze.


:party:

[kitkatrose]

38. That's similar to mine except

that when I'm cremated, plant me under a tree so that I can still be useful. That's my memorial. :)

[Padraig18]

32. A plain coffin, a fast Mass and burial and one HELLUVA wake!

I want it short, sweet, plain and fast (the funeral, that is), and then I want a wake that people will talk about for generations. :)

[ProdigalJunkMail]

34. i would rather be able to choose the type of DEATH I have...but

since that wasn't the question...just an old pine box and a sufficiently deep hole that I don't stink up the place. Or just cook me down to the enamel and then have a heck of a party...

theProdigal

[Dogmudgeon]

36. Calling Rolf Harris ...

Freeze me head when I'm dead, Fred,
Freeze me head when I'm dead
So we froze his head
The minute he was dead
In a flask in the back of the shed

--bkl
Tiny kangaroos drown, sport.

[TrogL]

37. Big noisy one

A full Requium Mass with all the bells and smells.

Faure Requium (or mine if I ever get around to writing it)
Psalm 130 to "Thule after Purcell"
Hymns: Westminster Abbey, Lasst uns Erfreuhen, St. Anne, Navy Hymn
Prelude: Vierne from the 24 pieces, Bach Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor
Postlude: Vierne, Postlude from the 24 pieces

Followed by a drunken wake of sufficient volume to require police intervention.

[ronnykmarshall]

40. Something simple ....... like this

[catmandu57]

42. None

Being dead I won't know what happens, but I'd just like to be toasted and scattered.

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. Is that Evita's funeral?

"Don't Cry For Me, Argentina!"?

[ronnykmarshall]

54. Yeah, I knew someone would recognize it.

[Old and In the Way]

41. I like Blind Willie McTell's idea.......

Dyin' Crapshooters Blues
sung by: Blind Willie McTell (1949)

little Jesse was a gambler
night and day
well he used crooked cards and dice

Sinful guy, good hearted but had no soul
heart was hard and cold like ice

Jesse was a wild reckless gambler
he won a game of shame (change?)
got a many gambler's heart he lead in pain (?)

when he began to spend and lose his money
he began to be blue and all alone
but boys his heart had even turned to stone

what broke Jesse's heart
while he was blue and all alone
sweet loreen had packed up and gone

police walked up and shot my friend Jesse down
boy I got to die today

he had a gang of crapshooters and gamblers
at his bedside

here are the words he had to say

I guess I ought to know
exactly how I want to go

how you want to go Jesse?

eight crap shooters to be my pall bearers
let 'em be veiled down in black
I want nine men going to the graveyard buddy
and eight men coming back

I want a gang of gamblers gathered around my coffin-side
a crooked card planted on my hearse

don't say the crapshooters will never grieve over me
my life been a doggone curse

Send poker players to the graveyard
dig my grave with the ace of spades
I want twelve polices in my funeral march
high sherriff playing blackjack lead the parade

I want the judge and solicitor who jailed me fourteen times
a pair of dice in my shoes

and what else?

Let a deck of cards be my tombstone buddy
I got the dyin' crapshooters blues

Sixteen real good crapshooters
sixteen bootleggers to sing a song
Sixteen racketmen gambling,
Couple tend bar while I'm rolling along

he wanted twenty-two womens out of the hampton hotel
twenty-six offa south bell
twenty nine women outta north atlanta
know that jesse didn't pass out so swell

now his head was achin'
heart was thumpin'
jesse went down bouncin' and jumpin'

Folks don't be standing around with Jesse cryin' -
He wants everyone to do the charlston while he's dyin'

One foot up and a toenail draggin'
Throw my friend Jesse in the Hoodoo wagon
Come here Mama with that can of booze

Dyin' crapshooters blues I mean
the dyin' crapshooters blues.

[Bucky]

44. I wanna be shot up with fireworks, incinerated midair. Mebbe soaked in rum

If I could die right before a Republican national convention, all the better for choosing the locale.

[Bunny]

48. I would like for everyone involved to be absolutely devastated.

With much weeping, wailing, and tearing of clothes. Then I'd like for everyone to take to their beds, and insist that they simply cannot go on without me. After that, I think 6-8 months of refusing to eat, take a bath, or change their clothes would be a nice touch. After that, I suppose they could go on with their lives, but only if they are reduced to being pathetic shells of their former selves.

:evilgrin:

[Cuban_Liberal]

49. I want to look like it's for a Rockefeller!

Big old bronze or mahogany casket--- one of those 800-pound jobs, a two-night wake, Requium Mass, stretch Cadillac limos, a mausoleum, the whole 9 yards! I only get one of these, so I want it to be showy as hell! :P

[Padraig18]

55. Fine, but I'll not get a hernia being your pall bearer!

:P

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

50. Throw me in the ocean and return me to the food chain

[slackmaster]

51. Viking with major FIREWORKS!

All survivors MUST be entertained.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

52. Funerals are for the living...

Whatever gives my loved ones comfort is fine by me. My only wish is that my remains not take up precious space. I want my ashes sprinkled around some beautiful place that isn't in danger of being developed anytime soon.

[Blue-Jay]

56. I want a New Orleans-style wake

Complete with a blues band and many drinks for the guests. The celebration of my death should be similar to my life: light-hearted and smiling. I might not be in "a better place", but hell, at least I ain't HERE anymore.

One caveat: I need to have "Piper At The Gates Of Dawn" by Van Morrison played at my wake.