hope this is not too hot a topic... is it racist or just preference?

[rebecca_herman]

Basically this is a hot topic that came up with me and an aquaintance lately and I was disappointed we could not come to a resolution or even agree to disagree.

do you think it is racist if someone only dates a particular race (be it their own race or a different race) because that is what they are physically/sexually attracted to?

she insists yes, I say no, I think the majority of people cannot help what they are attracted to (with the exception of people who might supress attraction to a certain type based on a really horrible experience in a past relationship, racism, or some other reason)

what do you guys think... if this is too hot a topic please close the thread!

[caty]

1. Since most people are attracted

to people who resemble themselves, I would not call it racist. Brunettes usually prefer brunettes---blondes usually prefer blondes, etc. We even tend to be attracted to people who have the same face shape.

[XemaSab]

2. I think it's common for people to mostly be attracted to someone of one race

but if they NEVER find ANYONE of another race attractive, that's starting to smell like racism.

[rebecca_herman]

6. well I sorta used myself as an example when arguing with her

I'm USUALLY attracted to men of my own race. Not 100% of the time... maybe 80-90%? I occasionally have been attracted to a man of another race, but it's not that frequent. I don't know if it's because I live in a non-diverse area (so I'm going to see 90%+ my race in a public place), or if I'm simply attracted to what looks familiar/similar to me (like I've noticed most of the guys I'm attracted to have the same hair color as myself) but the occasional dis-similar man stands out to me or something. I don't know, I've never really tried to analyze it until now.

[Lucian]

3. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm attracted to people from all race types.

Maybe it is racism, maybe it isn't, I don't know. :shrug: I don't think some people can help who they're attracted to. But if someone isn't attracted to someone because of the color of their skin, then it's racism.

[LeftyMom]

4. It really defends on their reasons.

For example, a lot of Anglo men in the US fetishize women of east Asian descent in ways that are absolutely racist and based in cultural stereotypes.

On the other hand, some people just have physical preferences or cultural expectations that tend to restrict them to a racial or cultural group- men who have no have no particular racial baggage may just be attracted to Asian women more than most because they like smaller body types or straight dark hair.

[XemaSab]

5. A lot of hipsters are into Asian culture

and macking on Asian women is a part of that. :crazy:

[Heidi]

7. Racism is the belief that race is the primary predeterminant of human characteristics.

Insisting on dating people of only one race might be bigoted, it might racist, or it might just be a sign of remaining in one's comfort zone. It depends on the person and his/her beliefs.

[jobycom]

8. Could be, could be not. Depends on how rigid the "preference" is, I suppose.

I'm attracted to people of a certain body type, hair color, intelligence level, etc, but I have also felt attraction for women nowhere near my normal pattern, and would consider dating them (if I remembered how to date, that is). I would never say, hypothetically, "I wouldn't date a woman with a certain hair color," or "I would never date a woman who weighed less than X or more than Y," though in general terms I'd be less likely to be attracted to them.

So I'd be concerned by someone who said "I wouldn't date a person of a particular race." I wouldn't be concerned if I simply noticed that they never dated anyone but their own race, unless there were other reasons to be concerned. Refusing to consider someone of a different race is "pre-judging" them specifically on race, and that's exactly what is meant by racial prejudice, or racism. Considering them yet never choosing them--in terms of romance, anyway--isn't prejudging. I guess it could indicate an underlying racial bias, but it's more likely that the person's love compass (clear your minds, no pun meant) points in a different direction.

My thoughts. Probably useless, as always.

[orleans]

9. part of the attraction to a particular race (such as one's own) might

have to do with an infrequent exposure to people of other races.

we have that problem out in the suburbs

(my own bias is that i think multi-racial children are gorgeous)