My Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot award for today goes to....

[SacredCow]

the author of this gem as found on www.fstdt.com:

The Americans also defeated the greatest army in the world at that time, the British army, with a bunch of rag-tag volunteer soldiers with no shoes, few weapons and out numbered. How could that possiblyhappen??? The greatest army in the world! God interviened. Got any other explanations? He wanted the United States to exist and that is why we have God mentioned in our Declaration of Independence, God in our constitution, God mentioned before our Supreme Court presides, God on our money, prayer to him before each day that our congress conviens and the President lays his hand on the Bible and swears to God when he is sworn into the office. We have some weird human creatures slithering around but as a whole, but the people of the United States believe in the God of the Bible. Sorry, you seem to me in the minority. Oh, one more thing, 99.99% of Americans eat meat because God says it is OK to do so.

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/comments.aspx?q=7387

[Aristus]

1. America defeated the greatest army in the world because we had help from the

second-greatest army in the world. Not to mention, the second greatest navy in the world. And because we finally started fighting like the professionals, instead of shooting from behind a tree and scooting away again...

edit: Plus, if God intervened, why did it take him eight years to defeat the British? Were they too strong for God even?

[TK421]

6. The British fought off Gods advances by threatening him with their food......

[Danger Mouse]

7. Stay back, God, or we'll throw Blood Sausages at you!!!

[Critters2]

10. That would explain the use of Scottish troops, too.

"Oh, God...we've got haggis..."

[Orsino]

15. And because the superpower lost its will for endless, unwinnable war overseas. n/t

[Blue_Tires]

2. i thought we won because the brits wore RED (!) in the forest...

[geardaddy]

3. I love this reply...

"Well, there were a variety of causes which allowed the colonials to overthrow the rightful rule of the monarchy, not least of which was their inhuman strength gained from their pacts with the devil."

[Critters2]

13. ...

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

4. That guy has no idea what he is talking about. I submit to you a Woodchuck Cider ad...

"In 1776, a rag-tag group of rebels defeated a well-equipped army ten times their size. Of course, they also drank hard cider for breakfast."

[Left Is Write]

5. Is our children learning?

[Danger Mouse]

8. I CALL BULLSHIT!!!! BULLSHIT!! Everybody knows...

we won the war because we had Mel Gibson on our side.

[KamaAina]

9. You don't suppose the author of this treatise might be a repuke, by any chance?

the President lays his hand on the Bible and swears to God when he is sworn into the office.

Unless, that is, he's repuke extraordinaire Richard Nixon, who took an affirmation instead of an oath because he was a Quaker. (The Quakers would later give him the boot over his incessant warmongering.)

edit: spelling

[Flying Dream Blues]

14. I'll bet he SAID he wuz a Quaker but wuz really a Muslin. Never trusted that Nixon.:) nt

Edited to correct was to wuz. ;)

[DemBones DemBones]

16. Are you sure Nixon affirmed instead of swore?

God only knows he swore on those secret tapes. . . :evilgrin:

I remember the media wondering if he would affirm or swear, thought he opted to swear. ???

[sakabatou]

11. FSTDT is full of gems like those

[Lex]

12. You know. God. God of the Bible.

nt

[Dr. Strange]

17. I agree: God interviened.

This interviention is the only possible explanation.