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>> >> > The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to
>> >> > offer an early retirement bonus.
>> >> >
>> >> > They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a
>> >> > bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
>> >> > between any two
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > points in their body. The officer volunteering for
>> >> > retirement got to choose what those two points would be.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured
>> >> > from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was
>> >> > measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and
>> >> > asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands
>> >> > to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old
>> >> > Chief Petty Officerwho, when asked where he would like to be
>> >> > measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my
>> >> > testicles."
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to
>> >> > reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the
>> >> > previous two Officers had received.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along
>> >> > with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical
>> >> > Corps Officer.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > The doctor arrived and instructed the Chief to "Drop
>> >> > 'em," which he did.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of
>> >> > the Chief's weenie and began to work back.
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed. "Where are your
>> >> > testicles?"
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >> > The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnam ..."
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