I don't understand the physics behind Donald Trump's hair.

[amitten]

I know it's a comb-over of some sort. My question is:

Did this asshole grow out a piece of hair until it was really really really long, shape it into some kind of complex whorl, hold it down and spray it into place like a piece of bad hair sculpture to cover his baldness?

Because that is just so very bizarre, and I want to know exactly how it was accomplished.

RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW!!11!

Please include diagrams.

[Shell Beau]

1. He could afford a decent hair cut. It is beyond

me why he keeps that brillo pad on his head. I guess it is his trademark now.

[amitten]

2. I demand to know how it has been constructed. n/t

[Shell Beau]

3. Aerodynamics or something

[DS1]

5. He'd look better bald

and a bit like Jigsaw

[amitten]

7. Thanks for the diagram. My hair instincts disagree, however.

I have very strong feelings that the numbers are listed backward.

My theory is that #4 is actually the home base for this comb-over's long, twisted journey.

[Shell Beau]

6. Of course he may use this

[KamaAina]

17. I heard he had some kind of transplant back when that was brand new

and, obviously, hadn't been perfected yet. The Combover is there to hide the resulting scars.

[barb162]

21. I bet he pays thousands for that concoction. n/t

[tjwash]

4. No physics needed...just a lot of staples to hold the dead ground squirrel on.

I think he goes to the same rug store that:


Goes to.

[amitten]

8. This picture only adds to my confusion.

I want so badly to have a "before" and "after" pic, with all the steps in-between clearly laid out for my consideration.

[blogslut]

9. I had one client

...That would have me cut the sides and nape short but keep the temple bits long. I was not allowed to comb it into place but watched with fascination as he took those two sad bits of hair and swirl one to cover the front of his scalp and the other to cover the crown.

He was a sweet man but was completely convinced that his career in sales would end if he exposed his bald pate. Believe me, I tried to convince him otherwise but he would have none of it.

I truly believe that when it comes to hair, some people have a clinical inability to see what others see. Kind of a follicle Dysmorphic syndrome.

[amitten]

10. I find that fascinating, as well.

Kind of like bad plastic surgery.

People don't seem to realize that though their original look may not be perfect, the "fix" creates what amounts to a freakish appearance.

We have a society full of duck lips, tupperware boobs, and swirly byzantine comb-overs.

[Rambis]

12. "bacon head"

this guy would arrange his pathetic hair like bacon going across his completely bald head. I saw him a the shops one day and his hair fell off his head. It hit the floor and he was reaching for something on the third shelf.

[trof]

30. Like this?

[kimmerspixelated]

15. Rofl!!

Best Response!

[Lost in CT]

32. Follicle Dysmorphic syndrome... is suffer from this...

One trip in the pool brings me back to reality.

[Rambis]

11. I don't understand rich people with hair like this

[amitten]

13. They're going for the devil-may-care look.

Actually, it requires a fair amount of grooming to look like that.

[Rambis]

14. wow

waste of time:)

[alarimer]

16. Donald Trump's hair defies the laws of physics.

It might be the only thing in the universe that does.

[Orsino]

29. Completely faith-based hairstyling. n/t

[InvisibleTouch]

18. Call me weird, I like his hair.

But then, I have a fondness for the unusual. :)

[amitten]

19. Wow, I didn't know you were a DU'er, Mr. Trump!

Color me surprised.

[InvisibleTouch]

20. Heh. If only I had his money! ;) n/t

[barb162]

22. No one else does either

I think he must comb it forward over his forehead and then somehow he flips it back up. It's the weirdest thing.

[amitten]

25. It keeps me up at night.

I need to know where it starts and stops...

and what lies in-between. :scared:

[barb162]

26. Ha! It probably starts around the top of his head and he combs

forward and then he perhaps curls it back up. It really is the strangest hairdo. I bet he lets it grow really long to do that curling over his forehead.

[barb162]

27. Okay check this; a stylist says it is a toupee.

http://www.beautifulhairstyles.com/hairpolls/donaldtrump.html

[amitten]

28. Like hell it's a toupee.

It is one big frizzy mess of poorly-arranged natural hair sculpture from another dimension.

[barb162]

37. I'll go along with that too!

[Canuckistanian]

23. There was a new discovery of a weak-magnetic force anomaly

Trump kidnapped the researchers and put them to work on his hair.

They've done an admirable job so far, but now a competing gravity theory is threatening the consensus of the group.

Let's hope Trump can keep them together. Failure is NOT an option, trust me.

[TreasonousBastard]

24. No physics-- chemistry. Glue, lots of glue. n/t

[woo me with science]

31. part cat. nt

[Arugula Latte]

33. Yep -- It's very long and he doubles it over on top of his head.

Good gawd, what a freak.

[Heidi]

34. I miuch prefer bald to The Donald's faux full head of hair.

CMW has been losing his hair since his early 20s and is now almost completely bald on top (and REALLY cute). He considers combovers the height of delusional behavior.

[amitten]

36. I chalk it up to men's vision not being very detail-oriented.

I've noticed that when they look at women for instance, they seem to notice general physical traits rather than specific, more detailed ones. They tend to look at the overall picture.

That sort of thing exactly would lead to the acceptance of a comb-over, I think. A man looks in the mirror and thinks, "well, there's hair there" and he figures it's good enough.

[Rambis]

35. really effin long on one side

Figure 6 is grown 3 to 4 feet-
Then placed on top of head like strips of bacon with one strip occupying the space directly above the brow ridge (not shown in this diagram) and subsequent strips spaced evenly over the entire head. this is achieved by circling the hair back and forth across the scalp so that you look like you have a snake resting on top of the head.

[Xipe Totec]

38. It's not hair, its a living barnacle