I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

This is the punchline to a "shaggy dog story" joke that I no longer remember.

Without the joke, the punchline is useless.

Can anyone help me out here?

The humanity!

[leftyclimber]

1. While we're at it, what goes with Better Nate Than Lever?

IIRC there's an clam that died and went to heaven. After some begging and pleading he gets to party in Hell with some of his clam friend Sam, is told that he has to remember his harp when he gets back at midnight or he can't get back into heaven. So he goes and has a ball with buddy Sam in Hell, who has taken up running a disco since his infernal demise. Midnight rings, the protagonist clam panics and heads back to heaven empty-handed. The minute he sees Saint Peter he freaks, saying.... (insert punchline here).

Although I'm sure there are folks here that can tell it better than I.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

2. That sounds about right. I was going to have to make up a whole new joke to fit the line.

Unfortunately I never heard the one you posted. :shrug:

[leftyclimber]

3. Oh, NOW you asked for it.

So there's this snake. His name is Nate. He lives by a highway, and by the highway there's this lever. And if you pull the lever, the world will split in half.

So one day the snake's crossing the highway (which IIRC is in Montana or Wyoming or one of those places with the wonderfully high speed limits) and this dude comes along, going about 90, not a care in the world. Suddenly he looks up, sees the snake crossing the road, and realizes he has a Serious Dillemma on his hands.

What to do? What DOES he do?

.......

......

Well, sadly our friend the snake is no longer with us, but as a consolation, remember what the passing motorist said when he made his decision:

Better Nate Than Lever.

(There. Now you have two horrible pun jokes. :evilgrin:)

[av8rdave]

4. All you need to get those jokes are the punchlines:

Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes (sung to Chattanooga Choo Choo)

If you live in a grass house, don't stow thrones

If the foo shits, wear it

It's illegal to retail spirits after midnight

Where were you when the fit hit the shan?

The charge: Making an obscene clone fall

Silly Rabbi, kicks are for trids!


The list goes on and on...

[leftyclimber]

5. Don't forget

Transporting miners across state lines for immoral porpoises

[DemBones DemBones]

9. Wasn't that "across stately lions for immortal

porpoises"?

[eShirl]

6. Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?

[BlueJazz]

7. Alright ..You asked for it. >>

There was this Frog who wanted to open up a Store. He tried to borrow money from his Friends but they were as broke as He was.
He thought "Maybe I can get a loan at the Bank".
He went into the bank...talked to the Loan officer's assistant, whose name was Patty Black.
After explaining what he wanted, she asked: Do you have any Collateral ??
The Frog said...Well..I have a lot of Nick-Nacks...will that do??
Patty Black said: "My Boss loves Nick-Nacks!
She went into her bosses office...
As soon as she told her boss what the frog had, he said, "Nick-Nack!!, Patty Black, Give the Frog a Loan!

[Bertha Venation]

11. I heard this version

Kermit Jagger went to the bank to get a loan. As collateral he took his favorite ceramic pink elephant.

The loan officer, Patty Black, said, "This is ridiculous. I can't give you a loan with this thing as collateral!"

Kermit called the bank manager. Patty plead her case. "I can't give a loan with that thing as collateral. What the hell is it, anyway?"

The bank manager said,

"It's a knick knack, Patty Black - give the frog a loan! His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

[BlueJazz]

12. I like your version better.

:)

[hedgehog]

8. Some threads should never die, and some should be put out of our misery!

:rofl:

[sarge43]

10. Sam Clam and Larry Lobster were good friends.

Larry was a good guy; Sam was a dirt bag. Both were netted and eaten. Larry goes to heaven, Sam to hell. When Larry arrives in heaven, he's told he had one wish, anything he wanted. He said he wanted to see his friend Sam. So St Pete grants him his wish. Sam is running a disco in hell and he and Larry hang for the day. When Larry returns to heaven, St Pete says, "Larry, haven't you forgotten something?" Larry answers, "Oh dear, I left my harp ...."