Two science jokes. The first was seen on a bathroom wall of either the biology, chemistry, or

[Strong Atheist]

physics building at my college:

If it's green, it's Biology,

If it stinks, it's Chemistry,

and if it doesn't work, it's Physics.

The second, I would guess, was seen on the chemistry bathroom wall. It had a symbol that looked a lot like a certain car hood ornament, except more straight lined, and it said "Mercedes Benzene".

[TZ]

1. hehehe. those are good...

I'll add my own..if its green, stinks and works only 50% of the time its biotechnology....:P

[Strong Atheist]

2. Wouldn't know; never got that far... nt.

[DemBones DemBones]

3. . . .

If it's green, and it stinks, and it doesn't work, it's Psychology.

[Strong Atheist]

4. ? I guess you have to be a psych major to understand that. Or maybe, I am being

unusually dense today... that could be it...:shrug:

[DemBones DemBones]

10. My organic chem prof had a plaque in his office

with what you posted plus what I posted.

[Strong Atheist]

11. Oh. Cool. nt.

[Dr. Strange]

5. Math jokes!

A mathematician is showing a new proof he came up with to a large group of
peers. After he's gone through most of it, one of the mathematicians says,
"Wait! That's not true. I have a counter-example!"
He replies, "That's okay. I have two proofs."

*************************************************************************

Q: How many numerical analysts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 0.9973 after the first three iterations.

Q: How many topologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It really doesn't matter, since they'd rather knot.

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One -- plus or minus three (small sample size).

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, if it knows its own Godel number.

Q: How many classical geometers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You can't do it with a straight edge and a compass.

Q: How many analysts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 0.999999...

[Strong Atheist]

6. I understood two of those! nt.

[Dr. Strange]

7. Mathematicians do it, baby!

Algebraic geometers do it for variety.
Algebraists do it in groups.
Analysts do it smoothly.
Analytic number theorists do it in the critical strip.
Applied mathematicians do it by computer simulation.
Banach spacers do it completely.
Chaoticians do it with sensitive dependence
Classical geometers do it on the nine-point circle.
Combinatorialists do it discretely.
Commutative algebraists do it regularly.
Complex analysts do it between the sheets
Constructivists do it without excluding the middle.
Decision theorists do it optimally.
Differential analysts do it in a degenerate case.
Functional analysts do it with compact support.
Galois theorists do it in a field.
Game theorists do it by dominance or saddle points.
Group theorists do it with the Monster.
Hilbert spacers do it orthogonally.
Large cardinals do it inaccessibly.
Linear programmers do it with nearest neighbors.
Logicians do it consistently and completely.
Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more.
Measure theorists do it almost everywhere.
Moebius always does it on the same side.
Pure mathematicians do it rigorously.
Real analysts do it uniformly.
Ring theorists do it non-commutatively.

[TZ]

8. Me too. Probably the same two...

:)

[Strong Atheist]

9. The easy ones. I never got past Calculus (part two of three...) nt.

[TZ]

12. Thats as far as I got.

Thank heavens for business major calculus!

[Dr. Strange]

13. Business calc?

DTM

[TZ]

15. okay.

Note to self: send jello wrestling pictures from last visit to Jersey to Pi Guy ONLY....

[Dr. Strange]

16. Curses! Hoist by my own Picard!

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

14. I always thought the mercedes-benzene gag was dumb.

Especially since the symbol is a dead ringer for Newman projections, not benzene.

[Strong Atheist]

17. The one I saw looked like a squashed hexagon, and was drawn in such a

way as to look like the chemical drawings...