Tax Season Office Etiquette rant

[prole_for_peace]

1. If you take the last paper towel from the roll REPLACE THE ROLL MORON!!! When I walk in the kitchen and see an empty cardboard tube on the dispenser I want to beat you to death with that tube.

2. Fellow "ladies": If you must hover over our pretty darn clean toilet seats CLEAN UP WHAT YOU LEAVE ON THE SEAT!! You think the seats will dirty your lilly white ass but you are the one making them dirty...

3. And a related issue: FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET!! And if you are flushing and everything doesn't go down DO IT AGAIN JACKASS!!

4. If you get some Nilla Wafers out of the bag do not put the bag back with just FOUR NILLA WAFERS IN IT! What the hell is the matter? A coffee cup full is juuuust right but four more...whew no room for those... ASSHOLE!

5. And if you get a bag of cookies out of a box in the closet take the DAMN EMPTY BOX out if you take the last bag. Are your arms broken?? They weren't broke when you clothes-lined me for those damn cookies.

6. We are all stressed and want to something to help but listening to music or Christian talk radio loud enough to be heard down the hall DOESN'T LESSEN MY STRESS!! It actually makes ME WANT TO KILL YOU!!

7. Don't keep asking me "where are you at?" on my projects. When I am finished I WILL TELL YOU!

8. And why are you always more interested in the ONE project I haven't started yet and not the TEN I am working on and might actually finish IF YOU WOULD QUIT BOTHERING ME. sheesh.

9. Quit mentioning how messy my office is. It is this way because I AM WORKING!! If your office is all neat and organized then obviously you are not getting anything accomplished.

10. Yes Mr/Ms Client..I did not answer my phone the 10th time in 48 hours that you called. I send you emails on purpose so that you will respond by REPLY EMAIL. I don't have the time nor the patience to answer the phone everytime you call to tell me you received some kind of letter/notice. I always say the same thing "Fax it to me". So just shut up and use the email and fax that I KNOW your office has. I HATE YOU.



I feel better know.

[Seeking Serenity]

1. I can so relate, having served my sentence in a CPA office

But, hey, at least you're past March 15.

[leftyclimber]

2. Ah, tax season.

So called because it makes accountants want to shoot each other.

Hope your office is one of the nice ones that throws an April 15th party, then gives you a few days off to recover your sanity.

:hug:

[prole_for_peace]

6. After last years April 15th blow out there will be no more sponsored parties

Usually we all agree to meet at a local restaurant for drinks and the main partner (the one I work for) will show up for a while and pay everyone's tickets. Lasst year we were drinking shots and he got in the game and kept ordering rounds. They actually had to come get the shot glasses from our table because they ran out. He ended up putting the whole thing on the firm credit card and the other partners did not appreciate that at all. But damn it was fun.

[leftyclimber]

7. Oh, man. That's a shame.

Although it sounds like that was one helluva party. :)

Hopefully y'all still go out and get happy afterwards. (CPA offspring here.)

[prole_for_peace]

10. We are already firing emails back and forth making plans.

But this year there will probably be no impromptu pole dancing... as those two employees have moved on.

I'm telling you IT WAS A PAR-TAY!!

[HopeHoops]

3. Don't forget "I don't want to hear about your fat festering toe or other nasty wound"

[prole_for_peace]

4. I did forget that.

In my office it would be "I don't want to hear, in great detail, about what the burrito did to your insides"

[HopeHoops]

5. Or the exit details

:hurts:

[MorningGlow]

8. ...You have cookies?!

:yoiks:

[prole_for_peace]

9. Heck yeah!!

they try to keep us fat and happy this time of year. Our closet is filled with little bags of Famous Amos, Grandma's Cookies, Cheese Nips, Pretzles, Nilla Wafers.... We had peanut butter crackers until recently.

When we get about two weeks from April 15th we get CHOCOLATE!!!

[jakefrep]

11. 11. Dear Mr./Ms. Client....

...our state CPA society has a very powerful lobbying arm that has used its influence on our state legislature to guarantee us the right to shoot anybody who comes into our offices and dumps out the at best loosely-organized wad of receipts from their shoeboxes onto our desks at any time between Feb. 1 and April 15.

[prole_for_peace]

12. A few years ago one client brought in such a mis-mash of stuff

that it looked like they had just dumped out their junk drawer. After going through it I was convinced that they had done just that. Included in all the bits of paper and receipts was a birthday card (sans money. I checked) and a broken pencil.

[lizziegrace]

13. I had a client who hauled coal

kept a paper bag in his truck and all year, threw receipts into the bag. During tax season, he'd show up with a dirty, dusty bag and I'd go change into my old clothes and sort the mess out.

Oh, and one man brought everything in a Kotex box. Don't know if that's all he could find or if he was making a statement...

:eyes: