YoungerGreenKid got hurt in gymnastics class and refuses to go back.

[GreenPartyVoter]

It wasn't a huge injury, although it could have been. He'd been away from classes for 6 months and had just gone back 2 weeks ago. Last week the kids were throwing front tucks on the trampoline. He'd done them (not quite properly...no set or throw and his tucks are too loose) into the pit, but never on the tramp. So he goes for it, doesn't set, doesn't throw his arms, and then bails at the top and winds up landing on his head and neck. I could see from the parent area that he was holding back tears and was kinda flipping out. (no pun intended)

Anyway, once something goes wrong for him he never goes back. Had a bad experience at a restaurant? Refuses to ever eat there again. MEGA freak out if you even suggest it. That sort of thing.

So please send positive vibes to my little man for tomorrow so that he can get over this fear. He really could be quite the little gymnast or cheerleader if he just gives it half a chance.

Thanks! :D

[mainegreen]

1. I can't do it. I hated gymnastics. It's evil.

EVIL.

I'd wish it upon no-one.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. Yeah. Elder quit but the younger wanted to go back again, so we took him. And then that happened.

[tigereye]

2. how old is he? I think that has something to do with that refusal -

my son has been doing gymnastics for years, and somehow we haven't had any major injuries, which is amazing considering how long he's been doing it. It's the one sport he really likes.


Good vibes to you and him!

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. He's 9 and did 2 years before this. I put him back into level 2 since he was away for 6 months but

apparently they added front tucks on the trampoline to those classes since last year.

As for the refusal thing, he has _always_ been like this. Since the day he popped out. :P

[soleiri]

3. Positive vibes towards your son so he makes the best decision for him.

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. Thank you :^)

[DeepBlueC]

4. Oh god I'd never let him go back myself!

Landing on his head and neck...we have a girl hoping to qualify for the Olympics here who was paralyzed from the neck down during practice in just that way. When I read your post unfortunately that was all I could think about. We have health care here but you are on your own when it comes to covering many of the many many expenses involved in caring for a quad. I'm with YoungerGreenKid! Maybe he just doesn't like gymnastics enough to want to get over it?

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. Yeah, as a cheer coach I am very sensitive to the dangers here. And I was a little freaked when I

saw it happen. He did try again with the coach urging him on and did better, but the trouble was the coach thought he had done them before so he had no spot and little instruction until after the bail.

So I told my little monkey boy that he does need to go back _but_ he can choose to only do front tucks with a spot, in the pit, or not at all. The rest of the things he knows how to do and is comfortable with he should try.

As for the poor young lady who was paralyzed, they can't find a cure for that fast enough. I pray that it is found soon. :(

[DeepBlueC]

9. What a good mom!

Choices...everyone needs 'em. Kids especially. Though I've never tired of them myself as long as there aren't so many that choosing itself becomes tedious. As a cheer coach clearly you know the turf here. Do I take it that you have had gymnastics training yourself? Tell me, do cheerleaders acquire gymnastic skills from cheer-leading itself or is it kind of understood that they come to cheer-leading with gymnastic skills already?

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. My own gymnastics experience is rather limited, but I've taken workshops, studied

books and videos, and watched my kids in their own classes for a couple of years. So I've learned what is safe and what isn't and what works and what doesn't in training kids up to the back and front handspring level. And one thing that does not work is pushing too hard at the wrong time. It's one thing to try and give them the guts to go for it when they are feeling some mental resistance. It's another thing to force them to do something that terrifies them. (Mental blocks are common and I have seen them happen on skills even as basic as forward rolls.)

Some cheerleaders get their tumbling from their cheer coaches but honestly I feel it is best to get it from a gymnastics coach as long as they are conversant in cheer tumbling. (re: leave out the walkovers and so forth and go straight for power tumbling.) That way you get the excellent technique and true grace you expect from a gymnast, and it was taught in a much safer environment than a school gym or cafeteria. Sadly for a lot of teams it's all about "just getting over." Who cares if the back handsprings were ugly, undercut, and dangerous because hey, you moved into new territory on the score sheet! There is nothing worse than going to a competition and seeing poorly executed stunts and tumbling passes that could have gotten someone hurt. Cringe city. x( Fortunately these days judges will dock you pretty heavily for that stuff in order to discourage coaches from doing it in the first place.

As for my little guy, he needs choices to give him some control. He is really a control nut in some ways (like his mom :eyes:) and we lock horns over stuff all the time. But this is a slightly different situation than what pants he should wear. (He was a half hour late for school on Friday because we kept fighting over that. And he will starve himself rather than eat something he does not like. Good lord he really is a carbon copy of moi! LOL)

[DeepBlueC]

11. when I say choices, I MEAN control

That's me in a nutshell. :rofl:

[MadMaddie]

13. Does he participate in any other sports?

[GreenPartyVoter]

16. Same resistance issue. He'll dig in his heels and say he doesn't want to play

basketball, but once he gets there and is doing it he's having a blast. I swear this kid forgets how much fun it is until the minute he starts doing it.

(Half the trouble is sports are eating into his computer time, which was kind of our (the parents) point! LOL)

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. UPDATE: He told me he quit but I said we still had to go. I gave him the

options of limited or no participation in the front tucks and he chose none and told me to tell his coach because he was feeling shy about it.

He was all smiles and giggles for the most part during class. They did back handsprings today, but fortunately I have worked with him on those before so he knew what to expect. Still, he kept clunking down on his head (and laughing about it) and when he came out I said, "You know you're supposed to lock out your arms by your ears to support your weight, so what was that falling down business all about?" And he said, "Teacher didn't say to do it, so I didn't." :eyes:

Thanks for all the happy vibes! :)

[bigwillq]

14. He needs to get over this.

This behavior. You need to encourage him to go back. Take him to that restaurant. Do whatever it takes.

I hope his injury is again. Bones heal. Bruises heal. :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. We did get him back today. We'll keep trying with everything else too. :^)

[bigwillq]

19. Good!

I am not a parent, although I did work with kids for many years. This is not a pattern, or behavior, that a kid should fall into. Yes, in time, with age and maturity, most kids get out of that stage. Good luck to him. :hug:

[LisaL]

21. Why exactly does he have to participate in gymnastics?

There must be something else he can do.

[LisaL]

22. Why?

I am sure there are plenty of people who aren't meant to be gymnasts. Most of the world, in fact.

[bigwillq]

29. Not just about the gymnastics thing.

Sure, if you don't like it or it's not your thing there's no reason to waste your time.

But the OP mentioned that sometimes this is a habit with her son. The "fear" part. He won't go back to that restaurant because he had one bad time at it. To me, that's not a good thing.

[LisaL]

30. Define "bad time." If I went to a restaurant and got food poisoning,

I wouldn't go back. If I didn't like the food I wouldn't go back. It's only common sense.

[bigwillq]

35. You would have to ask the OP about

what exactly was bad about it.

This line bothers me: "Anyway, once something goes wrong for him he never goes back."
He needs to change that. In life, a lot of things go wrong, and kids need to learn that sooner or later and be able to move on. You can't hide or run away from everything your whole life.

[Flaxbee]

15. Gymnastics freaks me out, too. I got hurt when I was

a kid, too. Nothing bad, but enough to turn me off it.

Maybe try to get past his adamant refusal behavior, because I could see it limiting him later in life. Maybe he'll grow out of it, but a huge life lesson for me was to keep trying even after I'd failed or been scared. My initial response when I was young was also to walk away from things that upset me, and then in my mid 20s I overcame it, but I wish I'd overcome it at a much younger age. I missed out on some fun stuff, as I look back. Not sure how to help someone overcome that kind of resistance, though.

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. I broke my arm and was in a cast for 9 months and never went back either. :^(

I also flunked gym in tenth grade because I didn't want to look stupid in front of my boyfriend. Sat out every class all year.

[LisaL]

23. I fell when learning to figure skate. Never went back either.

There was a lot of blood. Still have a scar from it.
At least my parents weren't making me to go back. It's rather obvious I would never be any good as a figure skater. Doesn't mean it put me on a path of quitting everything else.

[GreenPartyVoter]

28. Sounds like you had a very traumatic experience. :^( Has it affected how you

decide what your kids participate in, even if it is something they really, really want to do?

[Flaxbee]

32. my sister was so afraid of looking stupid she'd

pretend, even if she got lost, she was where she wanted to be. If she'd drive into the wrong parking lot, she'd just park, pull out a book, and pretend like she wanted to sit there and read all along. Poor thing.

If you're afraid of looking stupid, as I was, life can be awfully limiting. Oftentimes shy kids really suffer. I hope your son can get past some of his hesitancy, with gymnastics as well as other issues. Give him a :hug: for me.

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. It's no trouble passing along a hug. He is a very huggable kid when he wants to be. :^D

It runs in the family, this innate need to be perfect at something before ever even trying it.

He can't even apologize. He'd rather pretend that he never made a mistake, even argue until he is blue in the face and get himself into trouble than admit that he needs to apologize for something. Especially if what occurred was an accident. We are having a lot of trouble with that one. :(

[LisaL]

20. Oh for crying out loud. Leave the kid alone.

Your kid ended up falling on his head and neck? He could have injured himself. Why do you want to make him go back?

[GreenPartyVoter]

25. Because believe it or not he likes it once he is there and doing his thing. And I thought

long and hard about whether or not the safety concerns outweighed the need to help him work through this issue he has that once something goes wrong he won't do it anymore. Missed a basket? Quit basketball. Tripped playing soccer? Quit that too.

It's not just a fear issue here. He has a perfectionism issue. I can let him always quit things once things get hard or don't go the way he wanted them to, but I don't think that's necessarily going to be helpful to him in the long run. :(

[LisaL]

26. Well maybe you are not raising an athlete.

But if you really want him to participate in some sport, maybe you can pick something less dangerous than gymnastics.

[astral]

24. I think he should be allowed to quit if he wants to.

He should be encouraged to think of other things he'd like to try and if he's not a risk-taker let it be. He may not end up being all that athletically or competitively inclined in the end, but time will tell, and I don't think it comes around by you telling him.

Just my opinion.

[GreenPartyVoter]

27. He had been away from gymnastics for 6 months and he was the one who wanted to go back. He is

actually very athletic and good at it, and he is definitely a risk-taker. (Once thought it would be a great idea to pile up blankets on the floor and jump into them from the upper bunk. I got wind of it and put and end to it in a big hurry!)

He had a blast at class today, and so as far as I can tell we made the right call in having him return but letting him decide which activities he would participate in. :)

[ThomCat]

31. Good vibes for YOungerGreenKid!

If he enjoys gymnastics then I hope he gets over the fear and goes back. :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

34. Thanks! He did go back today and he was in control over choosing whether or not

to participate in the activity that scared him. He chose not to and everything was just fine. :)