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There was a Florida girl took a shine to me In a little blue dress as cute as can be She took my hand, I could see she was grievin' Said "Five judges told me I must be leavin' On a jet plane For the Twin Towers This is gonna hurt"
I was out there paintin' on the old woodshed When a Koran fell and hit me on the head Opened the cover and flipped the pages Got jumped from behind and wound up in a cage In a jumpsuit Waterboarded The pork was good, though
Came back home, and I fell asleep Dreamed I was walkin' on a Baghdad street When my Florida girl came from the riverbank With purple fingers and an Abrams tank I was runnin' Through a Pizza Hut Through the embassy Through a KBR shower stall
Well, my telephone rang and it wouldn't stop It's President Obama callin' me up He said, "Hey, derby, how can this country stand tall?" I said, "My friend, Barack, we need Kim Catrall Bridget Marquardt Angelina Jolie Your wife's pretty hot, too"
Well, I got a woman with a gavel in hand She says her favorite color's plaid Whispers in my ear with frisky assurance Tells me the kids need health insurance We’re taxin' unions We’re taxin' cigarettes But not my Lamborghini
Man on the podium's talkin' to me Says he's the new head of the GOP Out there preachin' in front of the steeple Tellin' me he loves all kinds of people He's eatin' couscous He's eatin' bagels He's eatin' mole He's servin’ bullshit
Oh, set me down in front of the screen I'll flip the channel to two-nineteen The gym is filled up with dodgeballin' clones And they'll send me a card if I pick up the phone Spaghetti Jimmy wins Hey there, Jimmy, what I want to know is What you're gonna do about AIG Bank of America Abusive debt collectors
Well, you ask me if there's still time to save The land of the free and the home of the brave You've got the hope, but I've got the audacity My to-do list I pursue with tenacity I chase DINOs Make love to Lindsay Lohan Catch hell from Samantha Ronson
:bounce::bounce::bounce:
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