Stupidest things you've done to yourself.

[The Backlash Cometh]

Me. Moving quickly past a pokey bush, I ducked down to avoid some of the branches, and coming up I nearly impaled my eardrum when a tiny branch went in my ear. My fast momentum forward created the entire problem. Thankfully, I didn't hit the eardrum.

Not quite a Darwin Award, but, still, stupid.

[City of Mills]

1. I don't want to get into details

But it involved a heavy, sharp piece of sheet metal and my left forearm. On the plus side, I have something cooler than a tattoo!

[Bertha Venation]

2. Being a total klutz, I should've known not to run down the stairs.

Missed the bottom step, broke my ankle and fell ass over teakettle into the stairwell. A fun time was had by all.

[The Backlash Cometh]

29. Sounds like a Pot's Fracture?

[Bertha Venation]

53. I don't know if it has a name

a tendon pulled a chip off the malleolus, and the fifth metatarsal -?- was cracked. But really, what was worse was the sprain.

[hippywife]

149. That would be an avulsion fracture.

http://orthopedics.about.com/od/brokenbones/a/avulsion.htm

Did that a couple of summers ago carrying stuff outta the house on the way to a county Dem fundraiser I was chairing. Came down on the right side of my right foot and broke the 5th met. I still drove to the fundraiser and got things ready and worked it from a chair, drove home and went to the doc the next day.

:hi:

[City of Mills]

3. Another good one

My ex-wife, when she was in college - she tripped on the top step of a short 4-step carpeted stairway and twisted her ankle...but while she was falling she threw her hands out and accidentally grabbed and pulled down the dorm's emergency fire alarm lever, so everyone in the building got to see her sprawled out on the floor...a couple of her girlfriends carried her out of the building. By the way, she was a freshman :) Everyone knew who she was after that!

[The Backlash Cometh]

30. LOL!

In college, that, actually, would be cool.

[Patiod]

4. Skinning dipping at late at night. Drunk. Right before a storm

when the ocean was running pretty much paralell to the beach.

The worst that happened was that we temporarily lost our clothes (and the guy later married one of my best friends, so I have to see him at parties and events.)

It's amazing that I survived my 20s and am still here.

[The Backlash Cometh]

31. I had someone who was a few years older than I was,

claim that he and his young adult 60's generation ruined it for everybody else because of the STD's.

I really don't know how we survived our 20s.

[Patiod]

120. I not only survived, but survived w/o getting any STDs

My S.O. and I are amazed that we both survived at all, much less w/o STDs.

We often joke about not wanting to climb back in that pool again.

[Blue Diadem]

5. ahem *clears throat* I got silly one day

DH was watching tv on the bed. I decided to clean the bedroom in the buff. I stood on the bed to take off the glass light cover on the ceiling fan and as I was getting down it broke and sliced my fingers.

DH had to dress me to take me to the ER to get stitches.

[The Backlash Cometh]

32. I just bested my dumb act from yesterday.

Today, I left a set of plyers on the top of a ladder. Then I went out to bring in the ladder and forgot the plyers. So when I pulled the ladder towards me, the plyers slid off and hit me on the head. I mean, what the hell?

[Blue Diadem]

50. I chipped a bone in my nose by opening a car door.

We'd just got rid of a car with a frameless window on the door and got a new car with the frame around the window. I had a duh moment.

I stuck my head in the open window after my youngest got in the car and found the horn at the end of the turn signal thingy. He was so happy he found it and he just kept beeeeeeeep...beeeeeeeeep. I asked him to stop and he just pressed it again and gave me a big smile. I went to open the door while still leaning over talking to him and smack, saw stars and nearly passed out.

God that hurt like crazy for a very long time too.

I hope your head is ok. DH just said he understands, he's done the forgetting tools on the ladder too.

[The Backlash Cometh]

59. Oh, that's bad when someone actually sees you. Only my dog got to

see me, and he just rolled his eyes.

Thank your DH for me. I'm usually not this bad, but I think my problem is that I have too much on my mind.

[NV Whino]

6. Too numerous to mention.

It's a wonder I'm still here.

[HopeHoops]

7. Trying to race a 6' Norwegian who ran 10 miles a day while shitfaced... read on...

This was also just after I met my wife-to-be (24 years ago), but she married me anyway, and the Saturday before I started a new job. I showed up Monday morning with a huge wad of gauze taped to my face. The wound on my shoulder was much larger. I think I made it about three steps before eating pavement.

[The Backlash Cometh]

33. God bless your wife.

[evlbstrd]

8. Falling in love.

[The Backlash Cometh]

34. Aw, you'll get over it.

I look back now and realize that everything happened for a purpose.

[evlbstrd]

36. True.

Doesn't make it easier, though.

[rug]

9. I set my pants on fire.

I tossed a butt and it landed in a hole in my jeans. I didn't realize it was there smoldering until a woman walked up to me and said, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know your pants are on fire?"

[Rosie1223]

18. You made that up

liar

:evilgrin:

[Arugula Latte]

19. hanging on a telephone wire!

[The Backlash Cometh]

37. Me, swinging from a metal electrical conduit.

Oh, and I was a bit of a gymnast, until one day, my toe got stuck in the chain link of the hanging chainlink-thingies-with-the-metal-handles. I was hanging upside down for a while, wondering if I would have to lose a toe. Somehow, it dislodge on its own.

[Arugula Latte]

70. Ouch-chihuahua!

x(

[rug]

77. I wish.

I won't even mention the time I tossed a butt out the car window and it flew back in and set some newspapers in the back seat on fire. I drove about five miles before I noticed.

[The Backlash Cometh]

80. Yikes!

[old mark]

10. First time I got married. Still makes me sick to think about it and that

was 40 years ago.


mark

[LynneSin]

11. Fell down the steps after sleepwalking on ambien

ouch

[DevonRex]

21. Invited my entire RW wacko family for Christmas while on Ambien.

It was bad.

[The Backlash Cometh]

39. For them, or for you?

[DevonRex]

43. I made it great for them. For me, it was hell listening to their

RW wacko fundie BS.

[The Backlash Cometh]

38. I just read about the sideeffects in an article!

[dana_b]

144. it's the devil's drug, I tell you!!

seriously... I took it for over a year (half dose)and would occasionally "trip". Then one time at a friend's house, I took it and had an episode of "depersonalization". Basically I didn't recognize my daughter or friend while still being awake. I do remember their faces being "melted". It scared the shit out of my kid and made her angry too (don't blame her). I stopped taking that crap right after this.

[SoxFan]

12. Zoo. Fence. Radiology lab. Sling.

It sounds much better this way...

[SeattleGirl]

13. Not THE stupidest thing, but just this morning, I missed the bottom step

as I was going downstairs, and went sprawling.

Now I have bruised knees, and a big scrape on my right palm.

Ouch.

[Throd]

14. Never start a barbecue with acetone

The wood was a little wet so in my drunken wisdom I doused it with a liberal dose of acetone. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

[dana_b]

145. wth?!

wow - hopefully you didn't get burned!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

15. Almost flipped a lawn tractor (with trailer) driving it drunk on my stepdad's CT property

[DevonRex]

23. OMG...

So glad it didn't flip. A boy from my home town was killed when the lawn tractor he was driving overturned on him. He was mowing along the road on a slant.

:hug:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

26. Yeah, I was riding it up a slant

Didn't make that mistake again.

[flvegan]

66. Yeah, like THAT is/was a rare event.

:eyes:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

71. Um...yeah, it was

I usually use the ATV to get the gear from the boat to the house, duh.

:eyes:

[Dangerously Amused]

16. In general? Or just today?

[The Backlash Cometh]

40. I'm having a bad week, too.

Probably enough to keep this thread going for a while.

[Richard Steele]

17. I once stapled my index fingers together with a desk stapler.

That's probably not the STUPIDEST thing,
but it's one of the funniest.

[hibbing]

115. hmm

Hi,
Hehe, is there more to this story, just wondering about the logistics of doing such a thing.

Peace

[Richard Steele]

134. NOPE. If there was MORE to the story, it wouldn't be so stupid.

It was 7th or 8th grade, I was assigned to a project
in the "special" class I atttended 4 periods per day,
and my partners on the project cut me out of the creative
process and relegated me to stapling the finished pieces
of the project to the bulletin board.

At one point, there was a lull in the stapling-
they were squabbling over placement of what went where.
I got bored, and so I began exploring the strength of
the stapler's internal spring by squeezing it between my thumbs
and index fingers.

I found the EXACT limit of that spring's strength when
the stapler made a "k'chung" noise and my index fingers
were suddenly connected by a shiny 1cm-long piece of metal.

After 2 or 3 seconds, I realized that it was the top of a staple
whose LEGS were buried in my fingers.

I'm a GENIUS, y'know. :eyes:

[DevonRex]

20. Dance floor. Beer spill. Torn ACL. That's all I'm gonna say.

[lizerdbits]

22. Frying bacon in a jog bra and shorts.

At least I wasn't topless, that would have hurt even more.

[mcctatas]

24. checked to see if my curling iron was hot.....

with my tongue (it was), I wish I could say this was when I was young and dumb, but it was within the last 5 years :crazy:

[The Backlash Cometh]

42. LOL!

[DevonRex]

48. I can't use a curling iron. I always burn my forehead.

And the last time I used my flat iron, I closed it on my ear and burned it.

[Shell Beau]

64. Oh no!! Ouch!

My mom did a really idiotic thing once. She'd been driving in her car for a while. Got out and thought her tail pipe looked kinda low. She grabbed it to pull it up! IDIOT! Her fingers almost melted to the pipe.

[hunter]

131. My brother did that too!

Maybe they should put a warning label on those things...

[noamnety]

110. Sadly, this makes sense to me.

I burnt my tongue badly feeling a butcher knife to see if it was hot - I was heating it up on the burner, and using it to jam into the freezer to melt through the block of ice there (the old style freezer where ice would build up and you had to defrost it).

[Lucian]

25. I don't even know where to start.

[hunter]

27. I was a cocky under 21 who played with explosives.

Now they scare me. If something goes wrong you don't remember what happened.

:scared:

The slow "explosions" and gunfire in action movies and video games really pisses me off. I want to beat the crap out of anyone who produces those fantasies. I think a lot of kids join the military thinking that's reality. The great horror of explosions and bullets is that they are instantaneous.

[The Backlash Cometh]

44. I hate that split second when you know it's too late and that things

will never be the same again, afterwards.

[hunter]

132. I remember that "split second" in my worst car accident...

...but not in this one. It's that void that's most chilling. Any memories I may have had of the split second must have got thrown out as my brain reset and rebooted.

These days concussion injuries are considered to be much more serious than they used to be. For example, no competent high school coach tells a football player who's been knocked senseless to get up, walk it off, and get back on the field.

[hobbit709]

111. Tripped after lighting fuse on charge

[Tikki]

28. ...and I did it twice....

...ironed my skirt while I was wearing it...steam burns...both times..
second time was the last time, though....


Tikki

[Shell Beau]

41. I ironed my shirt naked once. I burned my belly.

I won't do that again.

[NYC_SKP]

95. Me too!

Sadly, I have the scar to prove it. Do you think it is something the coroners will chat about when the time arises?:eyes:

[The Backlash Cometh]

45. I don't even want to go there. LOL!

[Blue Diadem]

51. I've done that too. Ouch.

I'd always think I'll just be more careful than the last time. Didn't work.

[LoveMyCali]

57. Glad I'm not the only one

I burned my belly ironing a blouse that I was wearing. Now I try to just stick to that wrinkle release spray.

[Shell Beau]

35. Not the stupidest, but I was running barefooted drunk one night

to the neighbor's house (a friend). I ran in his garage and didn't know there was a concrete step in front of the door. I broke my big toe. I think being drunk helped the pain although this wouldn't have happened if I weren't drunk. We all got a kick out of it. The whole reason I was running over there involved me wanting a hot dog! :shrug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

46. I had a couple Margaritas once (It only takes two)

and I put out a flame on a candle with my finger and thumb. Well, I picked a piece of the hot wax when I pinched and burned it into my skin. I just sat there and stared at it all night saying, "You think this would hurt more." By the next day, it was too cauterized to be painful.

[Kali]

47. the stupidest is letting myself get fat

but that is one of too many to list (note my sig line - it is funny to me for good reason)

[The Backlash Cometh]

61. A few months ago, my calendar opened up, you might say.

Suddenly, three-quarters of my obligations vanished. Poof. Maybe it took a few weeks to sink in. But one day, I'm struggling to get into a pair of pants, screaming at my husband that the dryer is shrinking all my clothes, and he just spits up with laughter. Well, long story about the scale in my house, but let's say that I bought another one that day and I found out I was five pounds over what I thought I was. Suddenly, I'm looking at myself and asking myself, how the hell did this happen? How could I have been so preoccupied that I didn't see pounds that were creeping up on me.

[Blue Diadem]

67. I've gotten bigger over the years and even though

I realize I have, there's something that really brought it front and center for me. The first time I used my daughter/granddaughter's Wii fit and stood on that thing for the body test, it startled me when it yelped ouch in this high pitched voice. I was :wow: :rofl:

My youngest son didn't believe me so I had to show him. He makes it yelp too. :rofl:

[Inchworm]

49. Mine usually involves beer

and I can round all the stupid thing up by saying...

drank too much beer.

:beer:

:hi:

[MrScorpio]

52. Attended a General Public concert without ear protection

Serious hearing loss

[dana_b]

146. have done that a LOT too!!

Last time I forgot the ear plugs and went to a club concert where Tom Morello (from Rage Against the Machine) and Joe Satriani amongst others were playing their hearts out. Now after 35+ years of loud rock concerts, I have permanent tinnitus.

Take care! ear plugs are our friends!

[Flaxbee]

54. had a shop-vac (one of the good - sized wet/dry vacuums)

plugged in and was too lazy to walk over to the socket to unplug it, so I tugged viciously on the cord. The plug then came flying out of the wall and smacked me hard right between the eyes. Nice little cut. Just lucky it didn't hit either of my eyes.

Other dumb things, no doubt.

[bif]

55. I jumped off our toolshed when I was a kid

Not realizing there was a large brick in the brush where I landed. It caught thee back of my heel and I nearly broke my ankle. It was so sprained I couldn't walk on it for a week. What's that saying? Look before you leap?

[MountainLaurel]

56. Um, where do I begin?

A few doozies:

Walking backward in a playground as I was leaving, to say something to a friend. Turned around and stepped directly and at full force into the steel pole holding up the slide, with the pole hitting me directly across the bridge of my nose.

Swished my foot in the town creek to wash mud of my sandals (dog had pulled me in after I threw a stick in the water). Sliced toe open.

Missed a step coming out of a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Japan and landed on the concrete with all of my weight and probably a 20lb backpack, directly onto my kneecap.

Dropped a vacuum cleaner on my toe -- the nail is still all screwed up, 10 years later.

[NMDemDist2]

58. I was screwing around with a staple gun one day

stapled my thumb to the desk. one prong of the staple right through the thumbnail into the wood

I was 13 at the time

:banghead:

and edit to add this one

my boyfriend was asleep one morning, thought I'd wake him with *ahem* a little oral stimulation

as I kissed my way up his leg, he jerked his knee. Broke my nose and threw me across the room into the closet, breaking the closet door simultaneously

:hide:

[pengillian101]

76. I hope you dumped him after that!

my boyfriend was asleep one morning, thought I'd wake him with *ahem* a little oral stimulation

as I kissed my way up his leg, he jerked his knee. Broke my nose and threw me across the room into the closet, breaking the closet door simultaneously

[NMDemDist2]

82. wasn't his fault, he was sound asleep n/t

[The Backlash Cometh]

90. Whaaaat? And I thought that I had a klutzy boyfriend when he poked

me in the eye whenever he tried to put his arm around me.

[NMDemDist2]

96. poor bastard

woken up out of a sound sleep with the sound of smashing doors and his girlfriend, naked in the closet crying, with blood pouring down her face

:rofl:

[The Backlash Cometh]

102. And he can't even blame Ambien.

[XemaSab]

60. Shoveling manure barefoot with a rusty pitchfork

Yes, I *did* put one of the tines through my foot. :banghead:

[The Backlash Cometh]

62. Ohhhh. Just working around manure barefoot would have won you the award.

[Are_grits_groceries]

63. I ran over myself.

I was parked off a steep driveway at my cousin's house. She had piles of branches around the yard. I got out to make sure there wasn't a pile behind my car. *Note to self: Always turn the car off and set every possible brake before going behind it. The car started rolling towards me. With my infinite superpowers, I held up my hand and said "Stop!"

Since I forgot my secret amulet the car kept rolling and I turned to the side just in time to avoid getting completely run down. The car caught my calf and thigh on a tree. The car rolled on down the hill while I became melodramatic and turned into Little Nell. I was thinking, "Woe is me. To die so cruelly and alone in the night." I got over that and called for help. Then all hell broke loose.

My cousin called 911, and told them I was pinned in the car. Meanwhile my other cousin had brought a blanket to me. It was a slow night in small towns. Every rescue vehicle for miles came. There were 13 at my last count. One man looked just like Father Mulcahey from M*A*S*H. Some of the rescuers were determined to use "the jaws of life" even though I wasn't in the car. It took my cousin 20 minutes to make them leave it alone. Boys will be boys.

Then a POlicewoman showed up to join the fun. She was going to give me a ticket for hitting a pedestrian or something. I asked her how long she thought my arms were. I also told her I never left private property so she could go. Then she wanted to give me a ticket for something else. She even followed me to the hospital. That woman was determined to find something to fine me for. I told her to go the hell away. My leg hurt, and I didn't care who she was.

They gave me morphine and then I didn't care about anything. I broke my fibula in one place. I crushed every muscle and whatever else. I never knew a leg could turn black like that.

I was lucky.

[The Backlash Cometh]

83. OMIGOD!

What a story. You got lucky, though.

[tabbycat31]

65. put my flash drive with all my schoolwork through the wash

Happened this Saturday. LUckily it survived and all my documets are fine.

[The Backlash Cometh]

84. They do survive pretty good.

[tabbycat31]

117. I was so relieved when it survived

and I have since bought another one and started bringing my laptop to school (instead of relying on teh school library's computers when I do homework).

[gardenista]

68. Jumped over a crevasse, landed in a squat, stood up real fast

and the top of my head smashed into a big ol' tree branch. It actually made a giant sound, and I almost passed out on the edge of a 50' waterfall. I'm pretty sure that's why I'm even stupider today.

But lucky, too!

[The Backlash Cometh]

85. Almost won the Darwin Award with that one.

[gardenista]

143. Yep, and the worst thing was that lots of people saw it happen

This was at Cunningham Falls State Park in Maryland, and there were probably a hundred people at the falls that day.

I almost think that so many people were worried that I'd pass out and plunge down the rocks, they willed me to stay conscious.

So stooopid people sometimes get by with a little help from our friends.

[gardenista]

69. Oh yeah, then there was the hot thai pepper tender bits saga.

Cooked up some spicy thai food with freshly harvested peppers (only two, their super tiny, too) from the garden.

After cutting up the peppers, my fingertips were burning, but I washed my hands really well, and thought that was the end of it.

Well, I had to attend to some female business, and the burning proceeded to totally inflame my nether regions, leading me to scream and jump around.

Last thing I remember is a suitor chasing me through the house with a big vat of plain yogurt and yelling, "Take off your pants, take off your pants!!!"

Good times.

[latebloomer]

78. ha ha!

That was funny!

I've done something similar, but not quite as painful. :D

[The Backlash Cometh]

86. LOL!

Generally, when someone is running around screaming that their privates are on fire, most people scratch them off their dance list.

[gardenista]

142. Yes, that would be the normal response, but I'm sure he

had only the best intentions, and wanted to help!

;-)

He was a very helpful guy...

[SKKY]

72. Probably breaking up with Salma Hayek...

...I just didn't want to be tied down at the time. :shrug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

87. I heard she was Republican. No biggie.

[Haole Girl]

73. It is, by far, gaining too much weight. (nt)

[The Backlash Cometh]

89. Welcome to the group.

[Deja Q]

74. Like cutting myself?

:shrug:

[The Backlash Cometh]

88. Accidentally or on purpose?

[Zavulon]

75. Broke my collarbone falling UP the stairs.

Don't even ask.

[rrneck]

79. Uh

Nail gun, left hand.

Motorycle, right knee (at 3 mph)

Half the time when I get pissed off and throw something it bounces back and smacks me between the eyes.

[The Backlash Cometh]

91. God is trying to tell you something.

That is funny, though.

[JTG of the PRB]

81. I punched myself in the head today. Does that count?

Not the face fortunately, but kind of on the top of my head. I was moving a heavy box, the cardboard ripped, and my hand came flying back at me.

[The Backlash Cometh]

92. Why do I get the impression that this thread could last forever?

[bluedigger]

93. Where to start....

Fell off a railroad trestle head first (yes, drunk). Luckily, I broke the fall eight feet down on the granite abutment...with my face. Thirteen stitches.

A year later fooling around with friends late at night at the elementary school playground (drunk again, sigh) - fell off a horsey on a spring and broke my fall in the exact same place. Nine more stitches.

Unrolled a 2" diameter wire comm cable on a 3' spool in the army super fast. The other end came off the spool, hit me in the forehead, drove my rank insignia into my head, and dropped me like I was pole-axed. Seven stitches.

Tied a pair of root clippers to a rope to throw the line over a branch. Bounced off the tree right back at me, so I caught it...and impaled my hand. No stitches (YAY!). Just public humiliation in front of my coworkers.

Trashed boss's snowmachine by rolling it at 60 MPH on a lake at night. Hit an ice ridge. (Oh yeah - drunk.) Somehow, I walked away unscathed from that one. Slid on the ice for a hell of a long way, though!

I could go on, unfortunately, but hey, you'll need a laugh some other day...

[The Backlash Cometh]

94. What amazes me, is that you can remember all of that.

I would have forgotten about half of it.

[dana_b]

147. ummm.. many things but the stupidest??

just sex with random people in my teens and 20s. too much alcohol and hormones are a baaaad combination. very stupid.

[dana_b]

148. ummm.. many things but the stupidest??

just sex with random people in my teens and 20s. too much alcohol and hormones are a baaaad combination. very stupid.

[GOPisEvil]

97. Hurdling a hula hoop lengthwise.

A friend rolled the hula hoop toward me, and I was going to jump over it. Consider that (a) I have short legs to begin with and (b) I have ZERO hang time, I think you get the picture.

There was much rolling on the ground in agony. :eyes:

[The Backlash Cometh]

103. I don't think you were alone on this one.

[applegrove]

98. As a teenager I was at the bottom of a ski hill. A toboggan load of our friends

was coming down the hill right at us. People in my group at the bottom of the hill wrapped each arm around the person beside them and pretended they weren't going to get out of the way. At the last minute they broke apart and ran out of the way. I fainted which was a bad and a good thing. People said that when the tobaggan hit me I flew through the air like a rag doll. I regained consciousness after I hit the ground. People were really upset and worried. I didn't have a scratch or a bruise on me. I didn't remember fainting or being hit.Faiting probably saved my ass.

[The Backlash Cometh]

104. Damn. Good story too.

[applegrove]

112. I remember now. I think I fainted because when the crowd at the bottom

dispursed my boots were stuck and I couldn't move. !!! I hadn't thought of that in years.

[denem]

99. Testing the wall sockets with a steel knife, &

'helping' my dad by filling the lawn mower with gas while it was still running.

(Both about age 3. PTSD prevents me from remembering what happened next: Dad was not happy!)

[The Backlash Cometh]

105. Seems to me the spanking strategy failed if you can't remember it?

[blondeatlast]

100. When I was a toddler, I ran the hose into the lawnmower gas tank--and drank the gas

as it came out.

Yep, I really did; plenty of witnesses to it in Winfield, KS.

[The Backlash Cometh]

107. And you lived through it. Truly amazing.

[blondeatlast]

114. At the hospital, they just made me drink as much water as I could and pee it out.

and then pee it out; they said that that was the best they could do--and that was when people could smoke in hospitals.

When I think back--YIKES!

[littlebit]

101. I started to get out of my truck and I

grabbed the handrail with my left hand. I haven't been able to really grip anything with that hand in years. I went to step down and lost my footing and fell on the ground. I not only gave myself a concussion I also dislocated my left shoulder. But the worse part of the whole ordeal was I ended up getting chiggers on both of my arms and my neck.

[The Backlash Cometh]

108. You know what's worse than getting chiggers?

Getting them and being afraid to tell your mom about them, because she didn't like the girl who invited you out to the farm, in the first place.

[chknltl]

106. There were witnesses!

Long ago when I was in Jr. High....
I was in an art class that had a large supply room. This supply room was large enough to have had a table with perhaps 6 chairs around it, each chair occupied by a student hard at work on a project and the teacher was there giving out advice. I walked into this room seeking out the teacher. As I entered the room I stepped on something and then WHAM!!!!! I get clobbered painfully across my forehead and nose driving me down to the floor. When the stars cleared I could see that what I had stepped on was the end of a push-broom that was again innocently laying prone on the floor. I had stepped on it in such a way that the handle came up and smacked me HARD on the bridge of my nose and center of my forehead. Although I doubt that anyone saw the broom handle come up and attack my head everyone must have heard the thunk and saw me collapse to the floor.

The students were all standing around me looking concerned, the teacher was there too to help me up. The teacher naturally asked if I was all right and wanted to know EXACTLY what had just happened.
So.....
I walked back outside the supply room. I turned around and told her that; "I was walking in here to see you... like this....and I guess I must have stepped on the end of the push-broom.... like this...
and....." yep WHAM AGAIN!!!!!!!!

It hurt even worse the second time around and compounding the pain... this time....
.....EVERYONE watched me do it!


On edit: At a very young age, I somehow got into daddy's car and played grownup by pushing in the cigarette lighter. When it popped out ready to use, I pulled it out and used it! Sadly this four year old hadn't planned well enough to have included a cigarette in his mouth when using it. Burned the hell out of my lips that day!

[The Backlash Cometh]

109. Oh, God. That reminds me of what I hope was an urban legend...

about the dad who picked up his kid by the ears, just fooling around, and broke his neck. When he went to the hospital, the doctors asked him to explain what he did, and he demonstrated by doing the same thing to his second son ...

[Joey Liberal]

113. Consumed a foot long hoagie

After drinking beer all night. Got really sick. That was a very rough night:)..............

[The Backlash Cometh]

123. Sounds like a typical frat night.

:-)

[FloridaJudy]

116. I accidentally died my hair green once

PSA - when 'Loving Care' says 'not for use on bleached hair' they really mean it! That stuff was not designed to compensate for the efforts of a friend who got a little too enthusiastic with the peroxide the night you decided to highlight each others tresses.

That night I also discovered that the combination of tequila and hair dye is rarely a good idea. Thank the gods we didn't have digital cameras and Facebook or MySpace back then, or else I'd still be known as 'the nurse with the green hair'.

eta: whenever a really drunk friend declares 'I can fix this', run as fast as you can in the opposite direction! This applies to automotive problems as well.

[The Backlash Cometh]

124. True about the over-helpful friends

When I was very young, the girls with green hair meant they were competitive swimmers, and, of course, usually blonde.

[lightningandsnow]

118. When I was 13, I decided to jump over half of a flight of stairs at school.

I forgot about the low concrete overhang over said flight of stairs.

I now have a permanent dent in my skull.

[The Backlash Cometh]

125. Now that one is truly a precious "stupid moment."

That's what I'm talking about. When the mind is incapable of multi-tasking.

[amyrose2712]

119. Started posting on DU. nt

[The Backlash Cometh]

126. Let me guess. An Obama fan?

I'm a fan too, but, also a realist. On that point, I can see that somes friends, are not good friends.

[amyrose2712]

Actually, that isn't the prob.

Quite the opposite. I am simply too critical of the great US of A. Right, now I am a pirate "apologist" For trying to see it from the side of the pirate and the underlying causes.

[The Backlash Cometh]

129. Oh, in that case, keep up the good work.

When you're out in the fringes that way, you won't make any friends. But, it's important work to challenge everyone around you, so they don't get too complacent. That's the road to Dittoheadlandia. If you wait long enough, you'll find someone else "discover" your way of thinking. That's when you know that you have increased the delta of thought in the net community.

[amyrose2712]

130. WOW! Thanks.

That is the most encouraging thing I have heard on hear for a while. I have been in fear of posting anything that could be taken as anti-Obama. I am not anti-Obama at all. But, I am left of the left, so I expected not to be happy with all his decisions. But, more and more I am feeling disappointed. Thanks for the pep talk.

[The Backlash Cometh]

133. No prob.

I'd tell you that we should start a support group, but I would insist on reserving the right to flame you if I ever disagreed with your opinion. ;-)

You're doing the right thing.

[TZ]

121. Walking straight into an ice covered pine tree branch

And subsequently taking public transportation into work with a sap covered swollen and bleeding nose..:eyes:

[The Backlash Cometh]

127. Back in grade school, Christian school to be exact, we were taught

to follow strict rules. We went everywhere in single file. If you began to drift to one side or other, they would yell at you to pay attention, so, you learn to walk looking to the side, with the person in front of you in your peripheral. Well, one day, the person in front of me headed straight for a pole, and veered at the last second to avoid it. Since they were in a foggy blur in my peripheral (because I was peeking into the classroom we were walking by, I ran right into the pole. I rang like a bell when I hit the metal pole.

[unpossibles]

122. I don't have time to compile such a list....

... let's just say that I tend to use up all of my luck staying alive...

;)

[The Backlash Cometh]

128. LOL! I have days like that.

[quakerboy]

135. most dramatic: Gardening with a Samuri Sword.

9 double stiches from a older nurse who felt my stupidity did not deserve anesthetic while she cleaned the wound

Runner up, standing too close to a School bus after it dropped me off, and getting my feet run over.

Also, crossing a highly trafficked street at night in dark clothing as I ran away from home. I am told I went up over the car. I lost my favorite shirt when they cut it off of me.

Stayed up reading under the blankets as a kid, with a clip on 60 watt bulb. Fell asleep. Still have the scar.

Then there are the ones that left no marks. Did you know that gasoline in a tennis ball, with a paper fuse does not burn slowly, then explode? It burns the fuse quick, then burns the gas slow in a large puddle over dry autumn leaves. Fortunantly, I was the master mind watching from the far side of a canyon on that one.

Or climbing from vehicle to vehicle at 60mph? Passing notes between cars at 80 MPH? Head butting a goat?

Those are the "fun" ones. After that it starts getting depressing thinking of the idiot moves with no redemptive quality.

[The Backlash Cometh]

138. OHMIGOD! Write the book!

[quakerboy]

141. A bit of advice for all the upandcommers here

If you happen to be gardening with a samurai sword, stop if your hands start feeling the least bit tired. Thats REALLY the time to stop.

[RoyGBiv]

136. Golf injury ...

And that's all I'm sayin'.

[The Backlash Cometh]

139. My imagination wanders.

[1gobluedem]

137. Oh, so many

Closed a glass storm door with the flat of my hand; hand went through it.

Tripped and fell on a barbecue grill while grilling hot dogs at an all campus-picnic; both arms had 2nd degree burns.

Tripped over a tree root in the water; broke my middle toe.

Dropped a pine topped TV tray on my foot; cracked it right where the toes meet the foot.

Used a string trimmer while wearing shorts instead of long pants; still have a mark from the welt.

Sliced my little toe open on the edge of a metal-edged trunk when making the bed; I was on a timetable and refused to go to Emergency, just wrapped band-aids around it. It bled for three days.

In short, I'm a klutz. I know there are many more but this is all I can think of for the moment.

[The Backlash Cometh]

140. I think life has something against your toes.