My Firebird and I got pulled over this afternoon.

[BeachBaby]

Officer: "Good afternoon. I'm Officer Smolsky from the Franklin Township Police Department. Do you know why I pulled you over today?"

Me: "Actually, no. Smolsky, eh? One of my Polish brethren."

Smolsky: *laughing* "Yeah, there aren't too many of us around here, huh. Anyway, you were talking on a cellphone."

Me: "Oh."

Smolsky: "Could you please present your DL, insurance, and registration, please?"

Me: "Sure."

*I start digging around my glove compartment*

Smolsky: "You sound like you're not feeling well."

Me: "Yeah, I'm battling a head cold."

Smolsky: "Seems to be going around."

*I hand him all the stuff and he heads back to his cruiser*

My son Justin (in the front seat - 13 years old): "Jeez. It's a nice day. Why do they have to ruin it?"

Me: "Well, it was my fault. I should have used my headset."

Justin: "You've never gotten a ticket before, have you?"

Me: "Nope. This will be my first."

My son Ian (in the back seat - 10 year old smartass): "Mom - you had your first accident and your first ticket pretty much at the same time. I gotta tell my friends about this. Wow."

Me: "Um, NO."

Ian: "Why? Do you want me to lie?"

Me: "No. I don't want you to offer information that's nobody's business."

Ian: "But this is cool stuff! We've seen a lot of cops lately."

Me: "You still thinking about being a cop?"

Ian: "NOW I am - this is cool!!!"

*Justin and I look at each other and promptly roll our eyes - Smolsky heads back to talk to me*

Smolsky: "I see you aren't wearing your seatbelt properly, either."

Me: "Well, when I wear it over my shoulder, it digs into my clavicle. It hurts." (I had it tucked under my arm)

Smolsky: "If you go to Advance Auto Parts or Pep Boys, you can find pads for your seatbelt so it won't hurt you anymore."

Me: "Okay."

Smolsky: "Okay. I ran your information through. You have a clean record. I'm not going to be the one to mar it. Do yourself a favor and buy yourself a headset for that phone."

Me: "I have one. I forgot to bring it with me today."

Smolsky: "Enjoy the rest of your day and holiday. Hope you feel better soon."

Me: "Thanks, Officer. Same to you."

*Officer Smolsky walks away*

Justin: "Whew. That was close. He was pretty nice."

Me: "Yeah. I got lucky."

Justin: "I think he liked you." *boyish cackle-laugh*

*a moment of silence as I put my stuff back in the glove compartment*

Ian: "I won't do that. If I'm a policeman, and I pull a car over, somebody's getting a ticket."

[Fleshdancer]

1. ROFL!

Funny story BeachBaby. This Ian kid cracks me up! :rofl:

[TZ]

3. Officer Ian the terror of South Jersey!

I've met her kids and let me tell you Ian is one funny smart kid...BB is gonna have her hands full very very soon! :rofl:

[TZ]

2. oh your kids are such a hoot

"I think he likes you..." sounds like one observant child....: rofl:

[MrCoffee]

4. Chicks...always flirting with cops

"Me: 'Actually, no. Smolsky, eh? One of my Polish brethren.'"

I'm sure you didn't drop your voice an octave or tug gently at your collar while you said that, huh.

:eyes:

[TZ]

6. Ruh Roh

Can you say ground up coffee beans...;)

[MrCoffee]

8. I bet she just *had* to apply some lip gloss right then, too.

[TZ]

9. What is Mr. Coffee is going to die soon for $1,000 Alex...

Keep digging that hole Java boy...:rofl:

[CreekDog]

16. yeah but it was the big hair that did the trick

:think: :hide:

[3.14158675309]

5. You are like Adrienne Barbeau in a Lambo Countach, BeachBaby

I hope you never get pulled over by a female officer! :rofl:

And that Ian child of yours-- he must be a result of some karma payback thing.... :hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

7. Has the teabagging started early?

Sorry, honey.

:hide:

[TZ]

10. Just found: video of Ian in a few years...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyf3rNzU99I

[CreekDog]

11. I was definitely like Ian

:eyes:

I used to harass my mother for breaking the speed limit. :hide:

But when my grandfather got pulled over on the Thruway and I argued with the cop, they got mad at me :wtf: Hey, i took our side!!!

I guess telling the cop that he only pulled my grandfather over because he had Jersey plates was not the most helpful thing to say. :dilemma:

By the way, that Justin, I'm sure his teachers must love him. Wayyyy nice kid.

[graywarrior]

12. GRATULACJE!

WY ZACHWYCALIŚCIE JEGO

[flvegan]

13. How many shirtbuttons did you have undone?

[MrCoffee]

14. In your face, TZ!!!

[flvegan]

20. TZ is a student of BB's ways of...Jedi boob tricks.

[TZ]

24. These are not the boobies you are looking for.....

Move along...:rofl: I have actually never gotten a ticket...:P

[3.14158675309]

15. Eggsacally!

Actually, it could have been a zipper....

[TZ]

17. HEY--don't you start troublemaker!

Attention Java boy, Vegan Boy and irrational number I was in the car with her during her accident...and I can assure you she was probably just being her normal self..of course that normal self causes all the guys at the Wawa to watch her pump gas....:hide:

[3.14158675309]

18. Um, I thought that the Wawa guys pumped it for you

hehe, that sounded pevvy..... :evilgrin:

[TZ]

19. Oh yeah

But true story..she didn't even have to get out of her car to attract attention...:rofl:

[flvegan]

21. She thinks she has us fooled.

Like she's got this "perfect record" based on responsibility and even-headedness.

Imagine that!

[3.14158675309]

23. FUCK YEAH!!1 I for one won't be sucked in by her charms....

Oh, wait.... nevermind. :hide:

[flvegan]

25. You've got one two-letter preposition too many there, bud.

"Charms" is a cute pet word for...nevermind.

:rofl:

[SacredCow]

22. We don't have that law yet.

I never get out of tickets...

:(