Yesterday I watched my uncle bust open a safe from the 1930's

[SallyMander]

He and my cousin drilled it out and opened it up. There was a lot of old paperwork, checks, records that the previous owner had tucked away in there. A penny from 1926, and an old skeleton key. And when we pried the bottom up to look for secret treasures, we found......................



A pornographic poem! On Easter, with the whole fam around to witness the dramatic reading by my (special) husband.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


I was thinking of having Iza scan it, because it's a riot, but it would *certainly* get this thread locked!

[lizziegrace]

1. Hehe!

So PM it to me. :)

[SallyMander]

4. Hahahaa

I'll see if Iza will scan it tonight, and I'll send you the pdf. It is scandalous! :o

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

9. If it's a PDF

you better email it. ;)

[SallyMander]

14. Scanner is acting up

Might have to wait until tomorrow. x(

[lizziegrace]

15. No hurry

:)

[Arugula Latte]

2. Hmmm ... let me guess:

"It really raised my staff
When I got a glimpse of your calf"

:D

[SallyMander]

5. No way! It is ummmm explicit

We'll put it that way... a downright crappy poem though. :rofl:

[SPKrazy]

3. Is Your Uncle Geraldo?

:rofl: :rofl:

porn poems :P

[SallyMander]

6. Nope! Otherwise there might have been

something more interesting in the safe. :rofl:

[Richard Steele]

7. That's so cool. I always wanted to crack a safe, but it's never come up in real life.

At least not YET. I remain hopeful.

[SallyMander]

8. He picked this up at an auction

out in the country -- it was pretty cool! The safe itself was from the 1800s, and really neat looking!

[Haole Girl]

10. That's really funny!

Poor guy who owned it. Must have died thinking, "I needed to clean out the safe..."

:rofl:

[SallyMander]

12. LOL! I know!

Luckily we found it, which means hopefully his wife didn't. ;-)

[jobycom]

21. We have a safe at work no one can crack.

It was there when my bosses bought the building, and probably dates back forty years or more. Every now and then one of us gets the urge and plays with it, but no one has opened it yet. If we would ever have developed a system, we could have tried every number by now.

[Richard Steele]

29. Once I earn some "vacation days" from my job, can I spend them at your office?

That would be cool.

[Lavender Brown]

11. Post it... it's not lockable if it's of historical and/or literary interest

:popcorn: :rofl:

[SallyMander]

13. LOL! I'd upload it, but now our darn scanner isn't working!

x(


I suppose i could type it out, but you lose some of the effect without the blotchy typewriter text...

[krispos42]

16. Take a picture with a digital camera

If you crank up the resolution and hold it steady it can come out pretty well.


In this picture, when you look at the original 1728x2592 picture I took with my digital camera, you can read the newspaper text.

[SallyMander]

18. Oh, I'll give that a try

:D

[krispos42]

19. dupe n/t

[krispos42]

20. Just, yanno, don't post it on DU or anything...

:scared:

[DarkTirade]

17. If you get it scanned or typed out or whatever, PM it to me!

I'm curious. :)

[SallyMander]

25. See post 23

:hi:

[jobycom]

22. Post the puppy.

Even if it's locked, we can have a laugh at it, and it will doubtless inspire many subsequent threads, sig lines, and NARWAL-esque routines.

[SallyMander]

26. Page 1 is posted below

:D

[SallyMander]

23. ***** OK, here is page 1 of 4 (!) *****

You can read the rest by clicking "next" in my Photobucket. Don't say I didn't warn you though!!! :rofl:

(ETA, or just change the page # in the URL)

[achtung_circus]

24. Classic stuff

in its way. Somewhat doggerel-ish, but human.

[SallyMander]

27. Yup, pretty bad

:rofl:

My husband and I were debating the authorship -- I have a strong feeling it was written by a man, despite the female first-person!

[achtung_circus]

28. Yeah, I get that sense, too. n/t.

[Haole Girl]

30. Between the bosom and "titties" reference...

I believe a woman wrote that. Women of that generation didn't even use the word underware... they had a kinds of euphemisms for the word! :)

[SallyMander]

31. Did you read the rest though?

There is some decidedly unladylike language in there! :scared:

[Haole Girl]

32. I'm on my iPhone ....hubby is doing taxes on the computer...

I'll try to read it again.

[Haole Girl]

42. Well, I finally read the rest...

unladylike indeed. I didn't even know they used the "C" word back then!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

33. My dear SallyMander!

I love it! It's very cute and charming too!

But how do I access your Photobucket?

I want to read the rest of it!

:bounce: :bounce:

[SallyMander]

34. Peggy, be warned, it gets much less cute!

:rofl:

Here is the URL for that image -- remove the space after http, then you can just change the page number (there are 4) to read the rest!

http ://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff144/katyrose_g/Poem/page1.jpg

[CaliforniaPeggy]

35. No worries, sweetie!

I am, after all, an adult female, and I can be less cute too!

Thanks...

:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

36. Wow! Crude is right!

But I still think it's kind of charming!

Certainly explicit too!

Nice, and thank you sooooooooo much for sharing!

:9

[SallyMander]

37. Haha! Well I'm glad you liked it!

:hi:

[merh]

38. . . . on the Delaware *sigh*

:rofl: :rofl:


This is priceless - thanks for posting it. :rofl:

[SallyMander]

39. I think you mean the Deleware

:rofl:


Glad you liked it! :D :hi:

[merh]

40. LOL - whoops you are right

I was too caught up in the ending of the poem, what an ending

Some say it's dangerous, damned if I care
For I wasn't knocked up on the DEleware.

:rofl: :rofl:

:hi:

[SallyMander]

41. LOL! It was a moving ending, wasn't it?

Sigh....


:rofl: