I need an assistant.

[flvegan]

Anybody here want the job? Basically, I need someone to answer my two work phones and clear out my 47 voice mails. I can stay on top of my e-mail, so that's all good. The corporate home office says we're on a hiring freeze, so I can't really pay you anything. We'll have to call it an internship.

The benefits? Hmmm. Well, you might learn a thing or two about real property title underwriting.:eyes: There's always baseball or football (soccer) on in the background. You can pet all the dogs you want. Oh, and you get to bask in the glory that is me all day long. Yeah, there's a lot of non-inside-voice talking and cursing and I usually pace when I'm on the phone which is annoying I'm sure. But seriously, imagine the fun!!

:silly:



So, any takers?

[TZ]

1. Two issues

I believe that the non-payment and "the basking in the glory that is " you all day long are mutually exclusive I believe...in other words..you couldn't pay me enough.....:hide:

[flvegan]

3. Zoot, you'd love it.

We could talk baseball all day. I love talking about your favorite team.

[TZ]

5. ummmm

Would you be providing the prozac and valium? Cause I'd be needing LOTS AND LOTS to stomach that..:rofl:

[LeftyMom]

2. Can I work in my underwear and have sex with the boss?

Edit: It'll go faster that way since most of the voice mail is from me.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Sending BoyM down on the next flight.

:thumbsup:

Thanks! He's all yours!

[lizziegrace]

6. If it will further my career

;)


:silly:

[Rambis]

7. I have a habit of yelling

John Terry is a feckin knacker! every time I see a blue shirt will that be an issue?

[flvegan]

8. I see we won't be able to watch Chelsea games on the job.

:rofl:

[Rambis]

9. Cheers!

No Chelsea TV either it makes my ears bleed :hi:

[redqueen]

19. A knacker...

:rofl:

Aww look, you made him cry. :(

[Rambis]

31. Well done

One of the worst guys in football although Arsely Cole is right in line if Michael Bollocks doesn't push him in the back so he can cut in:toast:

[BeachBaby]

10. I'd let you drive my car.

[flvegan]

11. The Eagles Firebird?

[BeachBaby]

12. Yeah. I'm thinking about upgrading her to a 350, but still.....

she hauls some serious ass. Kinda pretty, too.



Ask TZ for verification of the Bird's ass-hauling abilities, since she has experienced it firsthand.

[flvegan]

15. Why stop there? If you're going small block upgrade

why not go with a 383 stroker? Naturally aspirated, you can easily go over 500hp.

My first engine swap in my first Vette was a 383. B&M roots-style blower. You'd have to lose the hood to fit that, but 650 hp feels like nothing else. You'll want to do some suspension and brake upgrades, though. Oh, and be ready for 10mpg.

[Jamastiene]

28. *swoon*

Whatta car. :wow: :drool:

[TZ]

14. That's some car she has

I can attest to it's speed...I drive a sports car but not in quite the same class..and in BB drives FAST...we went to the beach but I had to ask her to slow down a bit ...that was about as fast as I have ever gone...:wow:

[flvegan]

16. You're saying BB is fast, huh?

[TZ]

17. uh...

Ask Pi Guy about that...:hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

18. Oh, please. I could tempt him with a 2007 minivan if I chose to.

but I don't. :eyes:

[XemaSab]

13. Will there be Thai food?

:shrug:

[belladonna]

20. Seems like you're the only one hiring down there

Too bad I need a job that actually pays money, eh? I'll just keep on looking, I guess.... one day soon,

I hope to get a nibble or two from all those resumes I've thrown out there. The dogs would be a real bonus, tho!!

[flvegan]

21. You didn't get a single nibble?

If you want to send me your resume and requirements, I can circulate it. I know I'm not in the field you're in, but who knows.

[belladonna]

27. Nope

I think I may have to take a deep breath and take my brother up on his offer to come stay there for a bit. I think the fact that I'm so far away is sending my resume to the bottom of the stack. Problem is, I have a pretty good job here that I hate to give up without having something solid waiting for me, so I can't really bring myself to do it. My other option is to swallow my pride and try to get back with Medquist, working from home and such, since I could move and just pick it back up once I'm settled in in Florida. Decisions, decisions....

If you know of any dermatologists, especially ones specializing in Mohs surgery, in the Tampa area, I'll definitely send you my resume :D

[Pierre.Suave]

22. Dood, you live in Florida...

Surely you can find an adequately proportioned "assistant" easily...

:P

[flvegan]

24. But one that'll work for no money?

There's the...uh, rub.

[Pierre.Suave]

26. Surely you have something to offer the lass...

;)

[Mike 03]

23. This post is a good idea.

At first, I was thinking of posting a Howard Stern type thread like this, but then when I read it, I thought: I could use an assistant just like this. In fact, I desperately could use one.

But your post is so subtle, I can't tell if you are kidding or serious.

Let us know if you get any serious applicants.

[TZ]

25. Never take flvegan seriously

....most people here don't. ;)

[Mike 03]

29. I was afraid you were going to say that!

But he actually has good advice tonight.

[Chan790]

30. Ya know...

if you were paying, I'd take it in a heartbeat. It'd be by-far the best job I've ever had...you have no idea how terrible life can be when you work food service or commissioned sales. I used to stand between someone and their coffee. I now am forced to have conversations like: "Do you have...a...um...ya know, the doo-dad that does that thing that makes the engine move." (I'm concerned because after 20 minutes it was determined that he was looking for a 4-ton cable-lift to remove the engine from his car. He insisted it be 4-ton capacity...I don't even want to hazard a guess as to what kind of engine or car he's using this on.)