True story. So I went walking in the woods. And of course

[struggle4progress]

Poll question: True story. So I went walking in the woods. And of course

a tree fell -- and I saw and heard it fall

[HopeHoops]

1. Was it wearing a condom?

And was the pope shitting in the woods with a catholic bear? And if no woman was there when the man spoke, was he still wrong? Inquiring minds NEED TO KNOW!

If you get through all of that, was there a Narwhal (FUCK YEAH!!!1) eating a cheese sandwich at Olive Garden while all of this happened?

WRITE THIS DOWN! CALL CONGRESS - well, at least let FOX know about it - they'll get Geraldo on the scene immediately, live from Aruba even!