My turkey chili and quinoa may yet lead to the formation of a new world religion

[Bossy Monkey]

... Granted, I still need to get somebody else to try it besides me. But it could happen!:D

[tigereye]

1. mm, feel like sharing the recipe?

Speaking of recipes, it's about time to flee to the Cooking forum. There's too much Boyle discussion and castigation of Obama going on for me tonight.

[Bossy Monkey]

6. Well, you start with ground Susan Boyle and a half cup of blame Obama...

Ewww! Sorry about that.

There was a time not too long ago when I wouldn't cook anything without a recipe, and stuck to the words on the page religiously. Credit must go to my former girlfriend for shaking me loose from this tendency, though it's possible I've now gone too far in the other direction. At the moment, I'm still not totally satisfied with the spices in my chili; it's still a little too spicy. Not 4-alarm or even one-alarm; I just want the exiting to be as pleasant as the entering, if you know what I mean.

Forgive it please if this sounds like an ad for Aldi; I'm a major fan (but not paid by them in any way).

Let's see. These days, I'm still using kidney beans, but I'll probably be switching to pintos as a) they're probably a bit more authentic; and b) they're the only dry beans carried by Aldi.(See?) I had good success this time out soaking them all morning, draining, putting them in a stew pot almost filled with water, bringing to a boil, then simmering, covered for two hours. (This was a cup of kidney beans, sorry. Told you I'm rusty at this recipe stuff.:))

I cut up a bell pepper and a sweet onion. For a skillet I use something my late mom called a Dutch oven and the stores call a 12" chicken fryer. It's a great big pan with a lid. I covered the bottom of the pan in oil; this time it was soybean oil, with which I wasn't so happy. Usually it's canola which works better (or anyway has less of a distinct taste and smell). I've toyed with going all Rachael Ray and using EVOO, but just can't go through with it. Regardless, I throw in a tablespoon of minced garlic (yeah, I'm a criminal; sue me) and put the burner on high for a minute. Then bring it down to medium and throw in the onion and bell pepper. I'm still calculating when is the best time to cut up the meat to minimize chances of food poisoning; usually I just do it after cutting up the onion and pepper and take my chances, but if you want to be safest, you could do it now. As it's ground turkey (the 20 oz package from Aldi, or from any other store in the country; Cargill Meat Solutions is very hard-working), there's not a lot of point to cutting it up small, as the pieces just glue back together. I just cut a dozen and throw 'em in.

I marinate (or anyway sprinkle) with gluten-free tamari pretty liberally. Unless you're also celiac, you can go with soy sauce or regular tamari. I also grind black pepper over the pan like an over-amped Olive Garden server. Give it five minutes on one side, flip everything and tamari and pepper it all again, give it another five minutes, and go in with the pancake turner to cut up the meat as small as you can get it, or anyway down to mouthful size. Another five minutes to be on the safe side. If things start drying up, it's probably shrewd to throw in a little water; not being shrewd I haven't done this yet, but will in the future.

Throw in the beans (I didn't mention it, but you drained them again, right?), a can of diced tomatoes (I was happy with the 14.5 oz size, but you could easily go with larger, or two cans) and spices. At the moment, I'm going with two teaspoons each of chili powder, cumin and crushed red pepper. I think it's actually the chili powder that's making it a scotch too spicy, but common sense says cut the red pepper first, so next time it'll be only a teaspoon of the latter. Also I throw in most of a (tomato) can's worth of water at this point, stir like a madman and let the unholy mess rumble along at medium heat for 10 minutes. Then I lower the heat down to 1, cover, and let simmer for an hour. I think two hours or more would be better, but I can never hold out that long.

The quinoa I got lucky with this time. I bought it from the bulk bin without any directions provided, and just made it the same way I'd made the boxed version. It was only later that I thought that bulk quinoa probably needs a lot more washing than the boxed kind, but it turned out fine. To be on the safe side, go with the box. (The boxed quinoa from Trader Joe's is excellent if you have a TJ's where you live; I have to drive to Charlotte, so it's a rare treat (Trader Joe's, not the quinoa, which I can get nearly anywhere)). Anyway, just follow the package directions; I substitute chicken broth (Kitchen Basics, in my case) for water. This time out, I used a full cup of quinoa, which proved to be a load; half that is probably better.

Results? Well not orgasmic, but damned tasty.

[tigereye]

7. thanks, it sounds very good.

[MissMillie]

2. Do the followers of

the Flying Spaghetti Monster have something to worry about?

[Bossy Monkey]

5. Yes. Yes they do.

Actually, I'm more aiming at the Roman Catholics. No sin, no penance, good taste and a comfortable belly. I think this'll sell, theologically.:D

[Beer Snob-50]

8. No sin??

What good is that?

[Bossy Monkey]

12. No concept of sin. At least not per se. Thus, do what you want, as long as it doesn't hurt others

(Obviously, the turkeys feel that they should be counted under "others," but you can't please everybody.:)

[Beer Snob-50]

14. turkeys have no souls per se

so not a big deal. chili always leads to beer and beer should always lead to sin.

[midnight armadillo]

3. Just drop a bowl of it in the mail

So long as ground shipping takes under 2 hours I'll be able to avoid food poisoning and let you know how it is.

[Bossy Monkey]

4. We just need that pneumatic tube system finally to come online

Are you listening Ted Stevens? This may be the cue for your comeback!:P

[Jamastiene]

9. Unass the recipe.

Please. I want to try that based on the name alone. :9

[Bossy Monkey]

11. Don't know what "unass" is, but the recipe (such as it is) is at #6 above

You're just angling to be archbishop for North Carolina, aren't you?:P

[Jamastiene]

18. Oh, I thought everyone knew that one. Here is the definition.

It's definition #2.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=unass#



:P

Thanks for the recipe. I'm going to the grocery store soon. It'll be nice to have something new and different to cook. :D

[Bossy Monkey]

19. Lemme know how it turns out. Quinoa can be found in the yuppie-ass grocery section

or the health foods, or next to the couscous (which is probably in the yuppie-ass section anyway). Grocery stores are so hard to figure out.:)

[Beer Snob-50]

10. btw, what is quinoa?

yes, i am an ignorant person (maybe i am a closet rw'er)

[Bossy Monkey]

13. I hadn't either (so I'm a fellow ignorant person, or closet right-winger)

It's a seed. Like a grain, but not. (I'd explain, but I don't understand it either.) Said to be a complete protein, a superfood, and all that stuff. From South America, grown in the Andes. Pronounced keen-wah (stress on either syllable). Looks like couscous, mouth feel and texture are more like barley. Taste, such as it is, is pleasant and mild, unless you get it unwashed and fail to wash it, in which case it's said to taste like soap. The boxed varieties are supposed to be always thoroughly washed, which is why I recommend the boxed quinoa in my recipe. Wikipedia has a lot more information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinoa I've seen quinoa pasta and quinoa breakfast cereal, both of which I'm itching to try. But to be honest, if celiac sprue hadn't put wheat, oats and barley out of my reach, I probably never would have looked into this stuff at all. This all started 'cause I missed couscous. Still looking for an adequate substitute, though I may just settle for rice.

[Beer Snob-50]

15. thank you.

btw, is your celiac newly diagnosted (sp). i ask because i know of 3-4 people in their late 40's early 50's who have just discovered that they have it.

[Bossy Monkey]

16. Now you know 4 or 5. Yes, but only self-diagnosed, at age 45.

Couldn't figure out how a boy of Northern European descent could develop lactose intolerance at age 40. Also I was still having, uh, explosive symptoms even with LactAid. DUers (mainly supernova and leftymom) helped me to the realization that I'm most likely celiac. Quit gluten, had my anxiety disorders mostly evaporate immediately, lost twenty pounds almost immediately, and over the intervening year and a half lost 5 inches in the waist and several chins. And the lactose intolerance went away. I don't know if that qualifies as a definitive diagnosis, but I'm willing to live with it.

[Beer Snob-50]

17. my boss has regular checkups concerning his celiac

btw, he is of polish descent. he has had bone density checks and colonoscopy's due to this disease.

[Bossy Monkey]

20. Somewhere back there, somebody probably married an Irish or Italian person

It's also uncommon in Ireland or Italy, but commoner than in the rest of Europe. That's what happened with me. (Thanks loads, great-grandma Tighe!)

Celiac disease makes you unable to process magnesium, which makes your bones leak calcium. Unless the colonoscopies are continuing on to the small intestine I'm not sure how much good they would do, because it's the small intestine where all the damage is done. If I had money or insurance, I would be taking this to a doctor, too, but as I don't, I just avoid gluten, take multi-vitamins and B12, eat spinach and hope for the best. (I think they said quinoa has a lot of magnesium, too, but I'm not sure and don't feel like looking it up again.:)) If he can keep off gluten completely, his intestine is supposed to return to fully normal in some relatively short period, assuming cancer hasn't gotten there first, of course. Crossing my fingers for him, your other friends, and me.