Nation Dumbfounded As To Why Little-Leaguer's Favorite Player Is Chipper Jones

[Blue_Tires]

DANVILLE, IN—The U.S. populace reacted with confusion, astonishment, and mild disgust upon discovering that 12-year-old little-leaguer Jonathan Keefer's favorite major-league baseball player is none other than Atlanta Braves third baseman Chipper Jones.

Though Jones, who some called a "decent enough player" and "consistent, at least," is a six-time All Star, many are having a difficult time accepting that the 1999 MVP could actually be somebody's all-time favorite player.
"I know I shouldn't care, but I don't quite get it," San Francisco resident Fred Lynn, 52, told reporters. "This kid could have picked anyone he wanted, so what about Jeter, David Ortiz, CC Sabathia, or David Wright? I mean, even A-Rod would make more sense than this. I wouldn't like it, but I'd understand."

"Keefer loving Chipper Jones is like me worshipping Al Oliver instead of Willie Mays," Lynn added. "Al Oliver wasn't bad. He was actually pretty good. But do you remember who Al Oliver was? Of course not. He just kind of faded into the background."

According to official Little League Baseball records, Keefer is the only little-leaguer in the last 10 years to list Chipper Jones as his favorite player. Moreover, Little League sources confirmed that even during the height of Jones' popularity in the mid- to late '90s, only 14 young players considered him to be among their favorites, with a total of zero actually idolizing him.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nation_dumbfounded_as_to_why?utm_source=a-section

of course, the story leaves out the best part of Larry's career: knocking up a Hooters waitress!