Have you ever made a non-apology apology?

[bluestateguy]

Have you ever been forced to apologize for something where deep down, you did not feel that an apology was owed? Hence, you made a non-apology apology? ("I certainly did not mean to offend anyone...if my remarks were construed as offensive to anyone, that was not the intention, and I regret that...").

[crim son]

1. Yes.

At work, any number of times.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

2. Oh, yeah ............

Sometimes you've just got to take a dive so that you can get past whatever the situation is and get moving.

It's easy and it means nothing.......................

[LeftyMom]

3. Daily, I used to work in retail.

Gee, Mrs. Whateverthefuck, I'm awfully sorry you had to wait in line for ten minutes at a toy store five days before Christmas and one of the 37 toys on little Timmy's wish list was out of stock. That must be frustrating. Would you like me to call a manager up to discuss your concern?

:eyes:

[jeff30997]

4. So that was you ?

Mrs.Whateverthefuck is my mother! You evil lady !

- Timmy

[realisticphish]

17. oh, hell yes

"I'm very sorry that we are out of this sale item. The truck comes tomorrow, however. No, we don't actually manufacture the product in the back of the store. No, I'm afraid I can't make the truck come faster"

I had one customer complain when we were out of a size of dog collar. "You guys are pathetic. How hard is it to keep these in the back somewhere?"

Yeah, sir, I'm sorry we don't have that size as well, because then I could have shoved it up your ass

[petronius]

5. I don't think I've ever been absolutely forced to give an apology, but I have

non-apologized just to shut someone up. Even then, it would take a real ignoramous to mistake one of my non-apologies for the real thing - they're usually carefully crafted to be as insulting as possible...

[Akoto]

6. When I worked in customer service, all the day long.

"Mr. Johnson, I'm terribly sorry that you were inconvenienced by the personal mistake you're blaming on us. We deeply regret the trouble you've caused for yourself. Once you've finished screaming at me like a megalomaniacal chimp, would you prefer to speak with a supervisor?"

It's almost enough to make me grateful that I ended up disabled. :P

[Tommy_Carcetti]

7. No, but I once told a girl....

"I lub you".

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. yes, to my step father. its been 13 years and i still regret that i had to apologize

because he was clearly in the wrong.

[Deep13]

9. I don't remember if I did, but I know I received enough of them. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. Yes.

[Strong Atheist]

11. I'm sorry that you think I may have made such an apology. nt.

[arbusto_baboso]

12. John Sheridan's apology from "The Fall of Night" episode of Babylon 5....

"Ahem... I apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry we had to defend ourselves against an unwarranted attack. I'm sorry that your crew was stupid enough to fire on a station filled with a quarter million civilians including your own people. And I'm sorry I waited as long as I did before I blew them all straight to hell.

As with everything else it's... the thought that counts."

[TrogL]

13. Does "I'm sorry you're so stupid" count?

[Rambis]

14. Yes, and I signed the email FYTP

I told the person it was Fondly Yours and my initials when everyone know it really means Fuck You Too Pal!

[arbusto_baboso]

15. In my office, FYI unofficially means...

"Fuck You, Idiot".

[Rambis]

16. Nice! (nm)

x

[Moondog]

18. Of course. Hasn't everybody?

[Ikonoklast]

19. In working retail, all the time.

"Yes, Ma'am, I am truly sorry that although there has been a snowstorm of epic proportion over the Great Plains for the last five days not seen since Europeans set foot on this continent, that you cannot get your butter lettuce today because not one produce shipment in forty states is moving anywhere, let alone from the Central Valley of California to Northern Ohio, and that I am an idiot for not having any because you came out of your home in sub-zero weather and a gale-force wind, risking life and limb, just for that and some Salem cigarettes."

Thank the Creator that I don't ever have to do that ever again.

[EastTennesseeDem]

20. When I worked at the zoo

"I'm sorry we don't give free carousel rides. I understand we should just give them out for free even though this thing cost three million dollars to build and that we would be here till midnight while everyone in the line gets back in it sixty times because their parent doesn't have to drop the one dollar that is a donation to the place anyway which will lead to more exhibits.

Shithead."

[Mike 03]

21. Yes, many times. I'm a Buddhist and this practice is called "Taking all blame."

You just accept the blame for anything, regardless.

Who cares?

Then you preserve the relationship and move on.

It's harmless, and it doesn't hurt.

(ON EDIT)

I would only add that in no circumstance did I feel "forced" to accept blame. I just voluntarily surrendered it.

Deep down, people know if they are wrong or not; if they are incapable of knowing, then it is hard to hold them responsible for their lack of awareness.

Also, I don't like to burn bridges, because if this is someone who may need help someday, she or he will not call me if I've been so stubborn to terminate that relationship by being stubborn.

[mwooldri]

22. Anyone in customer service does it all the time.

Since I work in the credit card industry, I often have to apologize to customers for them getting late fees, finance charges, etc. Various apologies I have had to "make":

"I'm sorry that Girls Gone Wild are still charging your credit card even though you asked them to stop."

"I'm sorry you don't remember the charge at the Wal-Mart on that particular Saturday, yes I know you shop there all the time, I'm sorry I can help you more about the charge except that it was made at 4:28pm in the evening and then at 6:04pm you paid for dinner at Golden Corral.",

"I'm sorry you were having difficulties using the card. Does the store you were going to take Discover? They don't take Discover?"