Could it get any worse? I just broke down crying (& I am not a crier)

[caledesi]

Well folks this is what is going in my life right now and I feel so overwhelmed, I don't think I can take anymore.

My husband was laid off last Sep after 18 years. Received severance which we were living on because he couldn't find a job. Well he got a temporary job less than 3 months that could have led to full time with a major company. Yesterday, we found out the temporary job will be over next week.

Meanwhile, our health insurance ended on July 31st, Citigroup was still paying for the health insurance as part of his severance.

Now keep this all in mind, I just had an MRI for suspected MS. I will be meeting with my neurologist on Thurs to find out what is going on.

Course we won't mention that I am in menopause to boot. (hot flashes, insomnia...the whole bit).

Now we don't have health insurance, so if there is something seriously wrong with me...(need more tests, prescriptions) etc...I have no way of paying on my own. This is what has me most worried, bec if the diagnosis is MS, it is vital to start treatment asap. Well that won't be happening!

I work from home - small biz - develop Web sites for the legal community. I have done NOTHING for 2 weeks about the biz. Just answer the phone. That's it.

So now my husband must find another job. I believe he can collect unemployment based on his years with Citigroup.

Here I am not feeling well, not even able to come up with a "plan" to feel better about things. I am just overwhelmed.

The only "bright" spot is that we have land up for sale in Indiana and if it sells, we would be home-free ($200,000 worth of free). But that transaction could take a year. The land was zoned rural for years and not worth much, but recently it got zoned residential because that area which was once rural is booming (condos, houses, restaurants etc), and that's why we decided to sell.

Did I say I loathe *. Yes, because my husband lost his job as an indirect result of 9/11. (He worked in the Travellers Cheques area) and about 500 people got laid off.

I loathe this man because of what he has done to this great country of ours. 9/11 would not have happened under Gore...I am convinced of this. And if any of you have read the John Dean article...THEY FLEW - BUSH KNEW.

Thanks for listening...I have said it before but it's worth repeating...one of the biggest difference between freeperville and DU is that you NEVER see any personal messages and what is going on in their lives....we are like a community.

[TXlib]

1. ***HUG***

I'm sorry you guys are having such a rough time.

[leftofthedial]

2. hang in there

I wish I could help. Many of us are in the same boat.

We will get this band of thieves out of power.

We will turn this country back around.

[Coldwulf]

3. so sorry

;(

my heart breaks for you...

and burns with hatred for *

[Booberdawg]

4. You should still be able to get COBRA

"Meanwhile, our health insurance ended on July 31st, Citigroup was still paying for the health insurance as part of his severance."

You should still be able to get COBRA insurance for 18 months. It IS expensive, especially for husband and wife or family coverage.

I was laid off in January and the company paid 2 months of health insurance and I've paid for COBRA since then. You still have time to get it within the grace period if it just ended on July 31st.

[roughsatori]

10. My Cobra was about 360$ a month, and I am single NT

[Booberdawg]

25. Mine runs about $380 with dental and prescription drug coverage

It runs as high as $800 for a couple and $1,000 for a family. Pretty outrageous if your only source of income is unemployment. :(

[NewYorkerfromMass]

30. paying $850 for a family here in NYC

and that runs out in 6 mo.
This is pretty sucky news from caledesi. I have 2 friends with MS so I know how bad that can be on top of all this.

[SoCalDem]

5. Shit shit shit shit

I do know how you feel.. My husband got laid off years back after working his ASS off for a guy ..It was the last week of November and he was 54 yrs old.. We were scared shitless, but lucky for us, he found a better job.. but that was THEN...and this is NOW..:(

As bad as you feel, he probably feels worse.. The two of you need to go off and do something fun this weekend.. Not as celebration, but as re-affirmation..:)

Talk to your doctor.. He may be able to help you out.. Maybe by advancing you prescirptions before your coverage runs out.. or with samples..

And I will cross fingers, toes, eyes..anything.. to you.. hoiping that land sells :):)

[cap]

6. big hugggsssssss.........

have a goooooooooddddddd cry....bawl yer eyes out....

here's a shoulder and a hankie....

can your husband still get COBRA????

if he can't, check the university hospitals around to be part of a study on MS.

Can your husband help you with your business while he's looking? Maybe keeping your business growing would be a good thing.

[roughsatori]

7. Wow Your posts always seem so up-beat

I would never have realized your hard times. Hang in there. There is a newer test for MS called "Evoke Potentials." Ask about it from your neurologist. It is not dangerous like a spinal-tap. I was supposed to have one 2 years ago but my insurance ran out and I can't afford it right now. At least a brain-tumor was ruled out. I was told that the MRI showed a lot of plaque in the brain. And under the Shrub misadministration I don't see us getting help soon. And MS on top of bi-polar, life can be funny. I hope you are not offended, but I will say a prayer for you. Good Luck.

[Fenris]

8. You have my sympathy, caledesi

:hug:

Good luck to you and yours.

:hi:

Neil

[molly]

9. Take a deep breath - depression immobilizes you

I know. Try to make a list of everything going on - when you feel a tad better - take it slow. The really really really good thing is that you have some hope and if that land sells, you can stop worrying for a while.

Did you get Cobra? If they were still paying, it had not kicked in. They needed to notify you legally that you are now eligble. You can get it for 18 months past the date they quit paying. It may be expensive, but it's better than none. Do you have anyone that you can borrow from? Perhaps you could even borrow on your land with a short note from the bank?

I'm better at other people's problems, but I've been thru something similar. Keep us posted.

on edit - if they have not notified you by certified mail about the Cobra, call them immediately. Cobra is a federal law and they will get in deep doo-doo if they don't offer it to you. You will have a specified amount of time to sign up - not long tho.

[Dhalgren]

11. The America

that you are part of, that thinks of you as family, is out there. It's never gone away. The scurilous bastards that have highjacked our country has managed to sever the conections that use to be and feel so strong in and within our nation. Those connections are still there, the loving and concerned people are still there - we just have to reconnect. And we will. Stay strong. The dawn is coming.

[Cheswick2.0]

34. dhalgren

thank you, that was a very inspiring message.

[supernova]

12. Wow! Don't blame you for being overwhelmed

right now. That's a lot for anybody to deal with.

((((caledesi))))

I can empathize. Come Labor Day, I'll have been unemployed for 1 year now. x( It gets harder every day to stay structured and motivated. But I don't have financial pressures and impending chronic illnes either, thank god!

I've had times when all bad things seemed to be happening at once. Among your myriad of problems, take some time to sort out what is most important to deal with right now.

And don't take it as a given that the real estate deal won't happen sooner than a year from now. You never know.

[SeattleDem]

13. so sorry, Caledesi

Wishing you the best and keeping fingers crossed that the neurologist has good news Thursday.

COBRA might be a good investment if you can still get it. Some of the MS drugs, should you need something soon, are biotech drugs that can be expensive. It is probably "cheaper" to pay the COBRA to get the drug coverage (assuming it's part of the deal) than to try to pay out of pocket expenses. Also, if your doctor recommends drug therapy, talk to him about your situation. Most drug companies offer "patient assistance" programs for people with low incomes and having an unemployed spouse may qualify you for some of these programs. It may take several phone calls, but it's worth checking out before you start any particular therapy. Get the names of all possible drugs he would consider, google to find the manufacturer, then call the company and inquire about their patient assistance program. The company many only want to deal directly with your doctor, and he can also ask the companies' drug reps for details.

Please hang in there - we're all hoping for good news for you and your husband.

[terrisan]

18. Thanks for Posting

I am very sorry for your current problems. I hope the property investment pays off soon.
I am researching ms for a young family member who has some ms symptoms and an atypical mri. The first neurologist suggests monitoring with annual mri to see if there are changes; we just got a 2nd opinion from a neurologist who suggests more testing-for possible ms and lyme disease encephalopathy. There is a lot of information on the internet about the advisability of considering the lyme disease possibility (treatment is antibiotics).

Let us know what happens and best wishes.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

14. OH no!

I'm so sorry to hear that. *big hugs*

[glarius]

15. Bless you.....I pray everything works out for you..Reading the posts here

really makes me angry to think that all you wonderful, caring people do not have Universal Health care like we do here in Canada (and in every other civilized country)...I read some of the posts referring to not being able to get the tests needed because you can't afford them, etc....And paying $360 a month for COBRA insurance (is that some sort of temporary deal?)....That's unbelievable...With my husband's health problems and my high blood pressure we could never make it without our medical and prescription plans we have here (we pay NOTHING extra. Our taxes take care of it all) And don't let the right wingers down there tell you that Canadians are paying too high of taxes. Every poll shows that we overwhelmingly are satisfied with our health care even if it could use some improvements...I pray that you deserving people will SOON get universal health care too...:loveya:

[Lady President]

16. No advice, but much empathy

I was laid off about two months ago and although I've had a couple interviews nothing has panned out for me either. Coincidently, I lost my insurance on July 31 too. I did my best to go to every doctor imaginable prior to the 31st and filled all my prescriptions, but the thought of something unforseen happening scares me to death. I know it's a huge expense, but could you swing COBRA for a month or two to cover your testing?

States differ regarding their unemployment coverage, so be sure to check the state's website to see how they'll determine your coverage. Between his temp job and prior full-time job, I'm sure your husband will have enough hours to qualify.

I put a lot of the blame on my unemployment on Bush too. I worked for a low income housing company, but with the economy so horrible and the dividend tax cut, no company needs tax relief. ARGG! So frustrating!

Anyway, I don't have much advice, but I'm sending you tons of positive vibes.

[catmandu57]

17. We're here for you

This family of ours will do anything we can to help out, we're all going to need each other in one way or another. Have you been in contact with the MSSOCIETY, there is a chance that they can help with your medical problems and they would know of any tests or trials you could participate in.

[bif]

19. I feel for ya!

I was off for over a year. Wife and 2 kids. COBRA ws outrageous--almost $800 a month. But, somehow we made it through. Just hang in there and keep plugging away. Something will come through for you!

[cherryperry]

20. We all do love you here, caledesi!

It's all well and good to bring up coulda-beens/shoulda-beens, but right now you are in fact dealing with some incredibly stressful events and there are just too many of them attacking you and your husband at once for any sane human being not to cry!

Listen, if COBRA was in fact over on July 31st, how about this? Does Florida provide some help to people in your type of situation? By that, I mean free city/county/state-paid medical care? In my county in California, we have something called "County Medical Services" which assesses your situation and assigns a co-pay or not, depending on the situation. Depending on the earnings you currently receive from your web business and fluctuating depending on any earnings your husband may or may not be bringing in, they would assign a co-pay of $-0- through whatever for ANYTHING you need, including tests and prescriptions. Please investigate Florida for something similar! Now, I hope you don't ascribe a stigma to mental as well as physical health because IMO our bodies incude our heads, right? Therefore, to forestall any more crying spells and to nip any beginnings of interspousal eruptions, I respectfully request a mental as well as physical referral. In California, that is also covered in the same system as the physcial medical care and so only one visit by both of you unlocks the door to treatment for the head as well as the rest of your body; perhaps that would be in order. If you or your husband don't believe in it, just investigate the 'medical' services w/o realizing yours will probably include the whole person and you can decide on whether or not you want to use it or not.

I wish you peace and love and the realization that you will get through this; I promise!

[wryter2000]

21. Kaiser Permanente

Do you live anywhere that there's Kaiser Permanente health insurance? I work for them, and they're truly great. They might insure you at a reasonable cost even with a pre-existing condition. They're NON-PROFIT, the two most important words in health care.

[Kat45]

22. I'm so sorry about this.

I was planning to PM you to ask if you had your medical tests yet. If it does turn out to be MS, feel free to PM me; I mentioned to you before that I have it. The companies that make the MS drugs have programs to help patients pay for the drugs, and with the situation you and your husband are in, I would think you'd be eligible.

Man, your husband's problem coupled with yours--it's always all at once, isn't it. I would think he'd be eligible for unemployment, and definitely check out cobra. It is expensive, but it will be worth it if you'll have medical costs adding up. It's important to not have a gap in your insurance coverage (eg, between jobs) to avoid insur co calling something a pre-existing condition. My job ends in a couple of weeks, and if I don't have another job yet, I'll find a way to do cobra somehow because my meds alone (not for the ms) cost over $200 a month.

I wish you the best.

[cally]

23. Damn

Lots of hugs and empathy. I hope the doctor's report comes out great. :loveya:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. I'm so sorry

Talk with your doctors about insurance options. They know what kinds of programs are available to help the uninsured.

You might want to talk with your doctor or an herbalist about things you can do to alleviate the discomfort of menopause. I've found the following website to be tremendously helpful with regard to understanding and treating perimenopause: http://www.drweil.com

You've taken a major step toward making yourself feel better by posting here, Caledesi. You have a tremendous burden on your shoulders right now...unloading it for awhile and accepting the support of caring friends is exactly what you need.

Please keep us posted...

~hugggggggggs~

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

26. I am so sorry to hear this

I can only wish you a miracle.

[AnnabelLee]

27. Oh, no, Caledesi

I'm so sorry to hear about all of the troubles you are having. I wish I had some very profound advice for you...all I can offer is to say--as much as you can, take it one day at a time.:-(

[NJCher]

28. so sorry, both of you

caldesi and roughsatori. I will light white candles on your behalf.

I learned something interesting from a business associate the other day. He said there is reasonable health insurance available for individuals--it's just that insurance agents don't want to bother with it. Can you believe it? This guy is credible, btw. He told me another associate of ours bought health insurance for $160 a month. This is a divorced mother of about 40 years in age.


Cher

[private_ryan]

29. he got lucky to buy insurance at $160 a month in NJ

the ones I saw start at $200 and have a deductible of $10,000. So much for insurance.

You will have to pay some $500 a month to get a decent health plan

[soleft]

31. Sending good vibes for your land deal

And wishing you comfort and stength with your health issues.

[Uzybone]

32. Wishing you the best

I know quite a few people who have seen a lot go to shit the last few years. I hope all ends up going well for you guys.

[Cheswick2.0]

33. you can handle this

I promise. Your husband can collect un-employment and you can cut back and manage this. You have no idea how powerful you will feel when you thwart the credit monster from taking you down.
AS for your health, take it one day at a time. First find out what is wrong and then worry about how to pay for it. It may work out better than you think, trust in God or the universe or whatever......
What is the worst that can happen? Can you survive that? Yes you can. You are lucky to have a husband/family to care for you. That is what really matters.

It sucks to hit the wall, but now you can climb over it or go around it or whatever you have to do.

[DEM FAN]

35. I Will Pray For You. Please Keep Your Chin Up.

:loveya:

[JCMach1]

36. Big hugs... (no pun intended)

Things will turn around...

:)

[UrbScotty]

37. Best wishes

Hoping for a turn for the better soon!

[Darranar]

38. I'm sorry, caledesi!

For your sake, and the sake of the millions of Americans who are unemployed without health insurance, we will kick Bush out of office!

[blondeatlast]

39. Oh cale--prayers and a million hugs.

All I can send now is my love and karma. We're here for you.

(((caledesi)))

[MaineDem]

40. I hope that land sells soon!

Hang in there. (HUG)

[DUreader]

41. Caldesi, There Are Alternatives if You Need Them, Yoga is One

Any Relaxation/Stress Reduction has an impact on MS

Google returns too many results but if you can access some of

the Med. Journals you will find several alternatives to approach

this even if you cannot get the coverage.

I wish I could offer something more specific, but please don't despair.

[ScreamingMeemie]

42. Caledesi, what a raw deal. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope

that A. you don't have MS B. that land sells really d*mn quick C. We elect someone in '04 who will get your hubby a job and you universal health care. I am pulling for you. Try and keep your chin up.:loveya:

[DagmarK]

43. Goodness......bless your heart!

To answer your question...yes, it could be worse. You could be alone....and you are not. You have a special mate by your side. That is a blessing. And he has you.

There are many people in dire straights who do not have a piece of land for sale that will bring in big cash. Go to the land and bury a St. Jude (patron saint of lost causes) right side up on the property.....it is said to bring luck in real estate sales! Worth a try.....

But that doesn't mean anything really -- because we all have our own crosses to bear...and lord, you have some heavy things to overcome, and I pray that it all turns around for you and hubby.......

I just can't believe we have allowed the corporate thieves and politicians to treat us -- their primary revenue sources -- so horribly.

[bif]

44. this too shall pass

Remember, we survived the McCarthy era, Nixon and Reagan. And Democrats WON the last three elections. So the general population is moving in the right direction.

[devilgrrl]

45. Hugs, hugs and more hugs...

Sorry you kids are having a tough time. :-(

[SyracuseDemocrat]

46. I'm so sorry

:(

[Section_43]

47. I know exactly what you're going through

I lost my job of six years in December of 2002 (two weeks before xmas) my severance covered insurance for two months, we have been w/out since March. Meds for us both are about $400 a month. Have gone through all of my 401K, unemployment benefits end Oct. 31. My depression is the worst it has ever been (I can hardly leave the house) and can't afford the Dr. visit to get my meds changed.

We are trying to open our own business.

Hang in there, better days are ahead, they HAVE to be!