SHRUG. OF. ETERNITY. (fair warning)

[otherlander]

"It came from afar and traveled sedately on, a shrug of eternity."- Last line of Darkness at Noon.
Fuck yeah, Koestler, that's what it is. It's raining, you know. WHY don't we have universal healthcare yet? What the fuck is wrong with people? Why do I have to steal antibiotic ointment so that my friend has some form of something vaguely helpful other than baby powder? Fuck I've been reading about economics and battle strategy, all the books where people are known quantities with self interests and scientific paths to follow as groups, History and Class Consciousness, all the shit, and god damn it, the MADNESS of war and destruction begins to look SO VERY RATIONAL and logical indeed when compared to matters of the human heart... Do you realize this woman is dying? Kids walk around calling themselves revolutionaries and radicals and would rather spend money on cheap or expensive chemicals to alter their PERCEPTIONS of reality, than on something that could actually alter the MATERIAL reality of another human being's life for the better... Go ahead, bastards, and trip your little Mohammedan-angel minds out on LSD while my comrades are dying in the streets. And the sun will come back. But then one day it won't. Every day it doesn't for someone who will be me eventually. And this 9 p.m. rain will become the totality, the be-all and end-all, there will be nothing after, and the insurgency of flesh-temperature warmth, of eating and lovemaking and thinking and talking and wandering, will reach its last throes and its insurrectionary love will give way to the cold, never to be reclaimed, and under the earth we will go forever... And then they talk about Marx, but I fear that perhaps Marx was wrong about the idea that we will one day have a classless society, and George Orwell was right when he said that the future will just be a boot stomping on a human face forever.

Why does everything suck so much?

[otherlander]

1. I swear to god I tried.

I swear to god I tried.
I swear to every singly fucking god that I with all my heart wish existed.

[otherlander]

2. There should be a Heaven for these people.

There should be a Hell for the people who did this to them.
I know... build. Here. Now. As much of paradise as we can make for each other on earth.
And I've been fighting, I swear I have been.
But don't we have the right to mourn?
After all of this- And we can argue about ethics and argue about morality, but what else is there to do sometimes? It's not the same, in a living room, debating philosophy- Out there, before sleep, before arrests, the red hotel lights, the acidic air, the seeping in of night, so far from the earth-
WHEN DID WE FORGET? WHEN DID WE FORGET HOW TO BE HUMAN?

This is too bad to be reality.