I've just started writing my new hard-boiled private eye novel, "The Bride Wore Bacon."

[Amerigo Vespucci]

It's gonna be so good that if Raymond Chandler could come back from the dead he'd say "Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that's all. Kick my ass. Enjoy. Come on. I'm not asking, I'm telling with this. Kick my ass."

And I WOULD, because this is going to be one kick-ass detective novel. Bend over, Chandler. School's in session.

It's going to have it ALL.

Sex.

Romance.

Guns.

Fistfights.

Intrigue.

And BACON.

I may even have a scratch-and-sniff strip that smells like BACON.

Stay tuned.

:eyes:

:rofl:

[Skittles]

1. EGREGIOUS

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

10. No degrees of separation from that Bacon

Proving that bacon is best served at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

:hi:

[texanwitch]

2. Cooked or uncooked bacon.

The bride could get very stinky if the bacon is left uncooked.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

5. The story is set in Antarctica

I covered all the bases.

:rofl:

[jobycom]

3. So it's going to be a real heart stopper, eh?

A real high pressure, hardened novel about a gum shoe with gum in his veins? Plenty of meat, no empty fiber, and a painful, ripping finale at the end of the tunnel.

[SwampG8r]

4. YOU JUST WROTE THE BACK COVER!

[MiddleFingerMom]

6. AV has asked me to illustrate his sure-to-be-classic...

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...and here's a sample:
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"Chapter 4: Wedding Night Blues - Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?"
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WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
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.NSFW!!! NSFW!!! NSFW!!! NSFW!!!
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[Steely_Dan]

7. Sounds Like A....

Firesign Theater skit.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

8. I used to love those guys...saw them perform at Stanford

"Everything You Know Is Wrong" is my all-time favorite...I appreciate the other "classics," but that album is my go-to Firesign album.

:toast:

[Steely_Dan]

12. It Is An Absolute Classic

I have to agree, EYKIW ("I'm no Sterno bum.") is probably my favorite as well. However, I am also partial to "Side Five." "Follow along as we learn three new words in Turkish." Bath, Towel, may I see your passport please.

-P

[miscsoc]

9. If you genuinely write a full length hard boiled private eye novel based around bacon

I promise to buy it.

[xchrom]

11. I want an autographed copy and a pound of thick sliced

Apple wood smoked please.

[Dr Morbius]

13. I admit to being old-fashioned. I see "bacon" and "hard-boiled", and...

...I don't think of a private eye. I think eggs. Thinking with my stomach, perhaps.