What do you do

[quakerboy]

When you find yourself with a problem that cannot be fixed, cannot be escaped, and cannot be accepted?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear quakerboy...

I would seriously talk to someone who could help me.

Sometimes you need the perspective of another person...

Otherwise, I'd work on acceptance.


You have my sympathies...

:hug:

[quakerboy]

3. I am not sure that there is anyone

With a perspective that can make a difference. My hope is that time will eventually teach a lesson that can work towards relieving this. I suspect it shall never be solved.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. You can always hire a psychologist...

They are highly trained and skilled at this sort of thing.

I've been there; I know whereof I speak.

[quakerboy]

9. They are

Ive been there, back when I was a youth. Although I suspect I learned all the wrong lessons from it.

I like your idea. It does rely on having the resources to hire, however.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. One idea about resources:

Sometimes you can find a clinic where there are students learning their trade. These clinics often have a sliding scale arrangement for payment.

It's worth a look.

[seabeyond]

2. detach and move on.

interesting question. you have me so curious what this problem could be.

i am really good at emotionally detaching myself if i chose.

but i guess that can be "cannot be escaped"

[quakerboy]

6. Ah, but if you could not?

I can. But the problem is not directly my own.

[seabeyond]

14. ah. i see. a little more info.

there are times in peoples life where their journey is to live the pain, because they chose to not do any of the following. and this is not blaming the person or whatever. but if they are incapable of detaching (because ultimately they chose), or they cannot accept, then their experience in the journey is to live in the pain, and maybe that is the lesson.

then it would be, how can you watch this person live this.

that is your experience in the journey. understanding and accepting that they are going to live the pain. and how you do that is yours.

(really, all this is shooting in the dark)

[krispos42]

4. Denial?

A mental retreat into a rich fantasy?

Alcohol? Drugs? Alcohol AND drugs?

[quakerboy]

7. Denial, I think would fall under "cannot be ignored"

There are only so much Alcohol and drugs one can use and remain functional for the other parts of life.

Mental retreat kinda verges on both of those, effecting functionality and ignoring.

[denbot]

8. It is simple.

What cannot be fixed, escaped, or accepted, must simply be endured. I am sorry I don't have any better suggestions.
Peace

[quakerboy]

10. No worries, no need for sorry

I didn't expect to get a miracle cure for an unstated problem. I am more curious to see how people think through and address the impossible.

What do you do if it is unendurable?

[denbot]

12. Again a simple answer.

Survive.

[rug]

13. Wait.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. patience --

the only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable. - Rimbaud

[RandomThoughts]

17. Patience is a form of acceptance.

Although in some forms it can be ok, you can not let it hold you back.

Having patience, people to help, people to heal, people to care for, yes a person should have that, and the nobility of doctors.

But to just wait and do nothing, does not seem best, so not doing nothing, while doing nothing seems best.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. of course, you are right. --

one could ignore it perhaps. but then that would mean admitting that it existed in the first place. one could take care of other issues in the hopes this issue would resolve itself. one could walk away, go under, over or around the issue entirely.

[Brickbat]

16. I can't think of ever having a problem like that.

[jotsy]

19. My two road response.

In Richard Bach's illusions, the handbook for advanced souls tells us "There is no such ting as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

Years ago, when my youngest was new and my oldest was giving me a major dose of what for, I got lucky and was able to spend an hour a week with a master's candidate who was a counselor. Here I learned of a thing called choice theory. My nutshell recollection goes something like this. See your life as a car you are driving, it is front wheel drive. The four tires are how we feel and physiology as rear tires, and what we think and do as the 'drivers' upfront. The back of the rig will go where the front tires lead, so to change how we feel, we must think and do things differently from what we were or are doing or thinking in order to facilitate the transition. Hope this helps.

<http://www.choicetheory.com/>

[yankeepants]

20. For immediate practical release

I find it constructive to go somewhere (woods, shore, field) where there is no one else around and walk and say everything you are feeling out loud. Yell it if you must but hold a conversation with all your voices addressing every aspect of your conflict. Then just breathe and listen.

It's a different sort of therapy but I find it helps a great deal.

All best, yankeepants

[BarenakedLady]

21. Ride the wave.

Hold on and hope for the best.

[Iggo]

22. No such thing.

EDIT: Once you realize it cannot be fixed, you HAVE accepted it.