Talk like a Pirate Day be September 19!

[Lasher]

A tankard of ale and a fiesty wench, har harrr!

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

[HopeHoops]

1. AAAAaarrggghh!!!

TRUE STORY:

Our bank has a "pet appreciation week" every month - the 1st through the 7th - where they have a treat bin out for any pet you bring into the bank. I was in the van waiting for my wife about the 5th of this month and saw a guy in a denim jacket walk in with a large green parrot on his shoulder. Last week I went in and asked my main dude there if they had any treats for it and he admitted that they didn't, but they planned on getting some for October.

AAAARRRGGHH!!!

[Lasher]

2. I once had one of those things get on my shoulder at a pet shop.

I thought everybody would think I was cool. Damned thing bit the shit out of me and wouldn't let go! I had to say, "Arrr me hearties, get this beast from Hell offa me!" One of the employees came by to pry the evil fucker off.

Then my son got a big parrot for a pet. I thought it would be tame because it had a stable home or something and I gave it some of its favorite food as a peace offering. Avast, da ungrateful bag o' feathers did fasten onta me fanger and drew blood, did he!

After that I decided to wring the fucking thing's neck but my son never left me alone with it after that. Acquainted too well with Cap'n Lasher's ways, he is.

Winches, I say! Winches! And a tankard of ale, says me!