please tell me to stop feeling guilty about having migraine, please

[elehhhhna]

got whompped w/ one that started yesterday, home from work and jacked up on meds.

when i don't have one I don't think about them. When I DO have one - especially when I should be at work, I feel guilty as hell. WHY? It's like this inherited neurological event is a frikkin personal failing.

My hubs and kids are understanding (generally)and my boss is cool enough about it but I soooo don't need well meaning coworkers, not to mention said boss, offering their anecdotal crap "oh my sister had them really bad but she takes something now and they're gone" or "Excedrin Migraine gets rid of mine" RIGHT-O! Never thought of trying THAT! Or "Can't you take something to prevent them?" I ALREADY DO, EINSTEIN.
Shit.

Thank you for letting me vent.

[Orrex]

1. You get migraines because you secretly think that Showgirls is a good film

Not a "so bad it's good" film, and not a "camp classic" film. Just a straight-up piece of unambiguously fine cinema. And for that reason you should feel guilty.



But as to the migraines themselves, you have my deepest sympathy! :hug:

[elehhhhna]

2. it's a superb film - except for the script, plot, and acting

but hotrods to hell is better and plan 9 from outer space is the best ever.

[zanana1]

3. Guilt is a useless emotion.

If nothing can be changed by your sense of guilt and if there's no real reason for your guilt, you're just putting yourself in even more pain for nothing. Take it from someone who used to feel guilty about just about anything.

[redwitch]

4. I have a young friend who gets migraines.

I spent a day in the ER with her a few months back, have never seen anyone so sick and in so much pain. You have my sympathy and no need to feel guilty. From what I have seen migraines really, really suck. Hope this one passes quickly. :hug:

[Dappleganger]

15. You're a great friend!

Truly, you really are. :hi:

When we first moved to this area, one morning I came down with a horrific migraine and one of our neighbors drove me to the doctor (he was waiting for me w/a shot). I'll never forget the kindness and empathy she showed, as she was also a fellow migraine sufferer. There's no public transportation here into the city and there was no way I would drive (couldn't even sit up).

[Love Bug]

5. Quit telling your coworkers why you are out

It's none of their damn business.

[elehhhhna]

6. got a point there. For ADA purposes I had to telll my boss -- who

isn't a jerk about it, thank jah. Fact is, i haven't accepted a job offer in 20 years without first letting my potential boss know I have migraine. Still sucks though.

[AngryAmish]

8. or just tell them that you are suffering from tertiary syphilis

[Brickbat]

14. Yep.

[tigereye]

7. hope you feel better soon - try not to feel guilty.

:hug:

[Lucian]

9. People always ask the stupidest questions.

I get asked hundreds of stupid questions daily. I'm going to start berating and mocking people who ask stupid questions. It's so goddamn annoying.

As for the migraines, they suck. I get immobilized when I get them. I have to lay down in a dark room for a few hours for them to go away.

[sarge43]

10. You feel guilty because you don't have enough pain in your life.

I kid. If your family and boss understand and support you, they're all that matter. The Peanut Gallery doesn't.

You have a full plate; please stop trying to pile on more.

:hug:

[elehhhhna]

11. you're twisted.

I LOVE that in a person.

Thank you for the very good advice.

[sarge43]

13. That's what my fan club says.

You take care of you and remember a Bedouin saying which has served me well: The dogs bark, but my caravan moves on.

[Deep13]

12. Do they hurt? Did you volunteer for migraines?

That's what I thought. You are only responsible for things that you do voluntarily. Illness is not one of those things.

[Dappleganger]

16. Having lived with migraines and chronic pain for years...

I have found that my doctors care, my spouse cares as well as our children and a couple of very close friends (and my sister). Outside of that, NOBODY cares. It just doesn't help that everyone knows what is going on unless it is a boss. My attitude is that as long as the job gets done everyone else can go to hell. They all think that their tiny little caffeine headache or hangover is the same, so when they go into it my eyes glaze over and I smile and nod politely. When you have all those issues you just have to go into a different mode and protect yourself and your job by not giving in to the guilt. The only thing I ever feel guilty about is if it affects my family, that's it.

BTW, going on a heart medication made a huge difference with the frequency and severity of my migraines and brought it down to a more manageable number.