Why do 16 year olds give one headaches?

[SPKrazy]

Having a lot of trouble with one, a boy, my son, right now.

A lot of trouble. :(

[nolabear]

1. Because they're trying to figure out how to leave home and become someone.

And it's incredibly hard. They're half kid and half grownup, all territory is new territory, they think everyone on earth knows something they don't know, that they're always in danger of being the cast-off, and their chief job is to beat on you from within the safety of your love.

Yep, it's miserable, and if you keep your eyes on the prize and have the patience of a saint and let them know you love them unflinchingly but you won't let them do stupid or dangerous shit, it gets way better later.

Be brave.

(shrink, mother of two grown sons who took me around the block a few times and are stellar human beings).

[SPKrazy]

10. Stupid and dangerous shit

seems to be the plan of the hour for him right now.

[whistler162]

2. It is a reward given to your parents by the gods for

your actions as a 16 year old!

Someday you will like wise be rewarded.

[SPKrazy]

15. Well I was a pain at 16

at least I think I listened a little :shrug:

[Dappleganger]

3. It's their job...

and usually they're damned good at it!

Time out is good for parents, too--take one and leave him at home to stew awhile, go grab some coffee and enjoy the quiet. ;)

[SPKrazy]

20. He's left us

and the peace is not so bad

[struggle4progress]

4. He's only gave you one headaches? You're is lucky. I are'm sure I gived my parents

much more many than one headaches

[SPKrazy]

19. One after another it should be

constantly

[murielm99]

5. Send him to boarding school. n/t

[SPKrazy]

17. That may be the direction he's going

he doesn't wish to live here and the courts don't agree with his decision

[Kaleva]

6. 16 year old are very close to being out of the house.

One day my wife was very pissed at her 16 year old for taking off to places unknown without informing her of his whereabouts. She said she was going to ground him. I told her that he can only be grounded if he agrees to be grounded. He plays fullback and middle linebacker for the high school football team, has a drivers license and his own vehicle. My wife, still upset, said "Fine, you talk to him when he returns home!" When he returned late that night, I asked him where he was at. He said he was fishing with some friends. I then said that his mom was very worried and next time, please leave a note letting us know where he is going to be and he said "Okay.".

One winter evening, my wife's sister and mother were over visiting and the boys decided to snowboard off the roof of the house. The women were all excited about that and were going to go outside to put a stop to it. I said no to that so my wife told me to go outside and tell the boys to stop. I went outside, watched and laughed as the boys sledded off the roof and if I had been thirty years younger, I would have joined them. I went back inside and my wife asked me what I did. I said "Nothing. They are fine.". I got a lecture from the three of them about it was going to be me then that was going to bring the boys to the hospital when they get hurt and I agreed to do so if that were to happen. Other then ending up sore from smacking the driveway pretty hard, the boys lived thru it.

[SPKrazy]

18. Yes

They hate the rules, but can't make it on their own- at least I can't imagine he can. I'm not sure he can boil water, who will cook, clean, do his laundry, buy his gas, provide him a vehicle, nice place to live, a car to drive, pay his insurance, and give him allowance money, pay for cable, internet, phone, video games, whatever else?

I think I'm done with a lot of that as he would rather stay with his aunt in a trailer with her two kids and drunken boyfriend.

:shrug: I don't get it.

[Kali]

30. if you're doing all that for a 16 year-old, I'd say its time for him to do some of it

or at least try - he needs some life experience - tell him you love him, will be there always and for dog's sake let him learn how to do something for himself

[SPKrazy]

31. I agree

he is a product of guilt of a parent, and over indulgence.

[mzteris]

7. because they can . . .

isn't that their job???


Hey you!! Haven't talked to you in forever! How're things going? (besides the headache causing kid!)

Will a :hug: help?

[SPKrazy]

11. Yes

a :hug: helps

and the insanity continues with the son :crazy:

[Bucky]

8. I have 167 16-18 year olds. Fortunately the limited space in my head reduces the cumulative headache

[SPKrazy]

21. Good thought Bucky

I think I'll hang on to that :D

[alphafemale]

9. Because your parents cursed you.

Remember that day your Mom or Dad screamed: "Someday I hope you have a kid JUST LIKE YOU!"

Just kidding. It does get better.

My son was an unholy terror and absolute fire-breather for awhile at around 16. He now 20 and calls me all the time and is an absolute sweetheart.

[SPKrazy]

13. I am probably reaping the joys of my years as a teenager and am cursed.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement.

[Skittles]

12. you want I should kick some teenaged-boy ass, SPKrazy?

LEMME AT HIM

[SPKrazy]

14. Oh Yeah!!!

He needs some of that Skittles!!!

Get him!!!

:grr:

[Skittles]

16. when I was 16 it was my dad who was out of control

at least the natural order of things is in place for you :o

[SPKrazy]

22. Well I am preparing

for 3 boys who will all be teens at the same time :crazy: in the future, and not so distant :scared:

[Skittles]

23. maybe that's what drove my dad literally nuts

I had a brother 11 months older and one 11 months younger than me, plus three MORE younger brothers :o

[SPKrazy]

24. I'm already nuts

:crazy:

I dread the future

[Skittles]

25. you'll get through it

look at how close my siblings were in age:

[grasswire]

27. I Love that picture

And I love the furniture. Which one are you?

[Skittles]

29. I WILL KICK GREENWIRE ASS!

I AM THE GIRL! :D

[Ikonoklast]

33. Buncha kids with drinking problems.

:P

[blueknight]

26. I'VE been through it 5 times

no wonder im as nutty as a shithouse rat:crazy:

[jobycom]

28. Because they've learned all the can from you and are looking for other teachers.

Not that you've got nothing left to teach them, but by sixteen they've learned the big lessons you'll teach them, and are now looking to see what else they can learn that you won't. He's trying to learn how to live without you because he will have to learn that soon, and he's trying to learn how to do the stuff he needs to know for the rest of his life--how to form relationships, how to handle sex and love, how far he can go without losing himself, how far he can lose himself and still make it back, where his real limits are.

Some things he has to learn on his own, and for those, you are in his way. You probably should be in his way, at least enough to make sure he doesn't find it all too easy, and hopefully enough to keep him from screwing up too badly (although the screw-ups are a big part of what he's learning), but just remember that it's really not you he's rebelling against. He's just trying to understand the world he has to live in, and you are the one slowing him down (as you should be, to a large extent). So you're the one he clashes with.

Just my thoughts. Then again, my 17 year old is a piece of cake. And believe me, that scares me a lot more than if she was out rebelling.

[lost-in-nj]

32. SPK

sorry your going through this....
it's some of the toughest crap that will be thrown at you.....

I went through HELL with my daughter....

Tough love.... it worked for me....

I HOPE you find the help or discipline your family needs


:pals:

if you need to vent you know where to go


lost

[MissMillie]

34. it's in their job description

seriously... I can sympathize