BREAKING: Obama issues full pardon to man who allegedly killed Roberta Flack softly with his song

[Amerigo Vespucci]

CNN BREAKING, WASHINGTON DC: President Barack Obama signed a full Presidential pardon in the Oval Office earlier today for Lester Diamond, the man immortalized in Roberta Flack's 1973 smash hit "Killing Me Softly."

"Ms. Flack, I understand, is alive and well, so no actual crime has been committed. I hope that Mr. Diamond will enjoy his remaining years as a free, contributing member of society."

When asked about Flack's assertion that Diamond "Strumm(ed) (her) pain with his fingers," the President replied "Vice PResident Biden supervised a full medical examination at Ms. Flack's home, and medical examiners found that she was not only alive, but had no evidence of physical abuse resulting from Mr. Diamond or anyone else strumming her pain."

Ms. Flack could not be reached for comment. Mr. Diamond informed CNN reporters that he plans to immediately resume his career as a roadie for the blues-rock band Foghat.

MORE: Flack Not Attacked, Says Obama

[ReggieVeggie]

1. Strumming his pain with my fingers

Ummm.........yeah. Strumming his pain. He was singing my whole life!

[ReggieVeggie]

2. wow this lounge is dead

when does it pick up?

[ChoralScholar]

10. Am I the only one who thinks that line sounds dirty?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

12. So far, the answer seems to be "yes..."

:rofl:

[CBGLuthier]

3. Don McLean?

[ReggieVeggie]

4. Don McLean.....?

[CBGLuthier]

6. Yes, Don McLean

http://www.don-mclean.com/killingmesoftly.asp


“Don McLean,” she said simply. “I saw him at the Troubadour in LA last year. (”And there he was this young boy / A stranger to my eyes”) I had heard about him from some friends but up to then all I knew about him really was what others had told me. But I was moved by his performance, by the way he developed his numbers, he got right through to me. (”Strumming my pain with his fingers / Killing me softly with his sond/ Telling my whole life with his words.”)




Norman Gimbel picked up the story. “Lori is only 20 and she really is a very private person,” he said. “She told us about this strong experience she had listening to McLean” (”I felt all flushed with fever / Embarassed by the crowd / I felt he had found my letters / And read each one out loud / I prayed that he would finish / But he kept just right on…”)

[ReggieVeggie]

7. oh cool

did not realize that

[Amerigo Vespucci]

9. "Lester Diamond" is the character James Woods played in "Casino"...

...Sharon Stone's ex-boyfriend/pimp.

I knew the song was about Don McLean, but why put accurate details in a spoof ya know?

:toast:

[Lance_Boyle]

5. Norman Gimbel?

Summarizing Lori Lieberman's poem?

[elleng]

8. and FINALLY, here she is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5o_i4bOE_A

[KamaAina]

11. Thanks for the earworm

NOT! :banghead: