Advice sought on what I should do...

[RedCloud]

Dear DUers,

This involves the estates of Momma and Poppa Red Cloud who both passed away late last year. Their land is many miles (over 1,000) from where I reside so I am not able to travel there frequently.

About 1 day ago one of my siblings screwed up in a phone call and mentioned a very embarrassing item.

That he and my sister had both exhausted my mother's bank account for fear the state was coming to take it. They never gave me a source for who said the state was coming. All this time I was under the very mistaken belief that they were somewhat civilized and in great need. I was appointed to be executor once the probate attorney stepped aside (which he has not done). So I was assigning them things out of brotherly concern and now I feel like a fool. A very used fool. They each got more from one bank account than they make in an entire year. And they pilfered it. This is exactly why my parents wanted me to be the executor: I will see their legacy lasts as long as possible for the betterment of all.

Poppa Red Cloud babied the youngest one way too much. When he finally saw how much evil the youngest one had in him, he tried to get his name off everything. The younger one sought to declare him mentally unsound and threatened and badgered lawyers to block things.

The youngest one has taken from the estate anything he can without waiting for the attorney to get down to business.

So should I have them investigated for the good of my parents memory and the other brother who is on the opposite coast and in declining health? And other advice much appreciated as I am at a crossroad where there does not appear to be a shining path ahead. Even humor would be appreciated.

[hobbit709]

1. I'd be talking to an attorney.

[RedCloud]

4. Most likely I will do this later today.

And if possible figure out which attorney was being intimidated as he may have a "pro bonum" (is that right?)to burn.

[struggle4progress]

2. What hobbit said.

[RedCloud]

6. And what your quote said!

Grant me the courage to change things I can change, the patience to accept things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off -- St Francis, revisited

:rofl:

[struggle4progress]

8. I stole that from an old labor organizer

:)

[MilesColtrane]

3. You and your brother in ill health were cheated out of your rightful inheritance.

Even if you can forgive, and see no benefit from trying to get the money back, your brother may not feel that way, and it sounds like he could use the money.

It is your duty as executor to do every reasonable thing possible to get his share of the money to him.

Unfortunately, it sounds to me like your siblings who raided the account are the types to have already spent it.

[RedCloud]

5. Advice well received. Thanks!

[MilesColtrane]

7. Good luck with a very difficult situation.

[BrendaBrick]

9. I'm so sorry to hear this RedCloud,

Please try not to feel like a fool, because YOU ARE NOT!!!

You have a good heart with good intentions which is probably why YOU were appointed the Executor!

Here is a link which you may want to try:

http://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/can-my-sister-executor-of--father-s-estate--bypass-151386.html

Though the topic doesn't address your concern, perhaps you can do a free search there to find out where you (and your other brother who is in declining health) might stand legally.

At least, it might be a good starting point.

It maybe that the monies already spent would have to be paid back to the estate if there are clear indications of any wrong-doing on BOTH your younger brothers' part and maybe even this particular probate attorney as well.

http://www.lawyerratingz.com/ShowThingCats.jsp

I've never used the link above personally, but I have used something similar: vimo.com to research a questionable physician and found his license to have been revoked in 2 other states!

It maybe that you might want to make a decision right now on just how much time, money and effort you are willing to invest beforehand in this situation and then let it go...(knowing full well in your heart of hearts that you did the absolute best you could under these circumstances which seem largely out of your control due to not only the logistics but to the character of your brother - which you have no control over!) Otherwise, it might start to consume you and if you aren't careful - could really take a toll on your own well-being., and I don't think that is something your parents would have wanted either!

However this turns out, please DO take solace in the fact that you can sleep well at night....and in the end - that's worth more than any amount of money that you have not compromised your values or ethics for the sake of greed!!!!

Be well.

[RedCloud]

10. Update!

Thanks for your kind words BrendaBrick :hug: and welcome to DU! :hi:

Well I got in touch with the second probate attorney last night and he is quite ticked at the two siblings. They will get considerably less the day the lands and large tangibles get assigned.

I will travel there in about two weeks and ask them if they even thought of our brother's needs when they started pocketing money?

The second lawyer states that there never was any imminent threat to take everything by the "state". Paranoia strikes deep, they say.

My next task is to find the original probate lawyer and see if he was threatened by the youngest one. This would probably mean the youngest one would not be free to wander about and most likely intimidated/blocked our parents not to change their will.

[BrendaBrick]

11. Thanks for the update.

...and for the welcome :-)

Sounds like you are getting the ball rolling on this with the second probate attorney. Good for you!

All the best with this and keep us updated...

[kimi]

12. Sounds like you've gotten good advice and have a plan

which is a great start. I have no words of advice, but can say from deep, bitter, and personal experience - grown adults who rob, cheat and frighten elderly parents, or their own family, are some of the worst out there. YOU never did anything to deserve it, nor did your brother or parents. I've been there in the middle of a traumatic struggle over an estate, which lasted almost 5 years, aged my mom terribly, cost her almost a quarter of a million dollars in legal fees, and the end result - next to zip. But she could hold her head up and say that she did the right thing - the 2 scum who challenged her I hold nothing but deep contempt for and it sounds harsh, but I hope the memory of what they did sticks with them like bad swamp mud till the days they die.

I hope that you have a MUCH better outcome, do take care.