They're releasing the LOTR Extended Editions to theaters?!

[pokerfan]

Are f'ing s'ing me? If you thought the theatrical releases were long wait until you've sat through all 11 hours and 21 minutes of the extended versions.

Before June 28, when your Blu-ray player can finally take the long route to Mordor, the entire extended edition of Peter Jackson‘s Oscar-winning Lord of the Rings trilogy returns to the big screen. AMC, which has been playing a lot of classic films in anticipation of big Blu-ray releases, will show the extended editions of The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers and The Return of the King on consecutive weeks in June, opening on the 14th, 21st and 28th respectively. Read more after the break.

http://www.slashfilm.com/lord-rings-extended-editions-coming-theaters-june

[gratuitous]

1. Yessssssss!!!!!

Maw, get me my sittin' britches. There's movies to watch!

[pokerfan]

2. The Jackson films are abominations!

They should release the http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Sharkey%27s_Purist_Editions">Purist Editions to the theaters.

[gratuitous]

7. Excellent

I don't want to miss any of it, so I can send you for popcorn and drink refills. Since we all know you're totally going to be there.

[TheMightyFavog]

13. Just go during the Liv Tyler scenes.

That's what I did.

[pokerfan]

20. You mean the Liv Glorfindel scenes?

:banghead:

[TZ]

10. When did The Lord of the Rings become the Bible...

where anything thats NOT JUST EXACTLY FROM TEH BOOKS IS TEH EVIL?! God, purists are annoying as hell. Jackson's LOTR was well done and as much faithful to the books as any movie can possibly be. I have news for the purists out there. Tolkiens books aren't perfect and I think editing out some of it was appropriate. FOR YEARS I could not read the books because they were so boring to start with.

[Brickbat]

4. Oh my God, I am totally adding "sittin' britches" to my vocabulary.

I salute you. :patriot:

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. I never finished re-reading the trilogy due to how much time they took in the damned swamp.

Swamp of the damned, whatever. Argh...

[pokerfan]

5. Got "bogged" down

in the Dead Marshes, eh?

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. It's Ross Perot's "giant sucking sound", I swear!

Or was that me losing my boot in the muck...

*(Struggling mightily to remember anything that would rhyme/phoenetic/pun with "fen")*

[pokerfan]

8. You were past the halfway point...

"Dreary and wearisome. Cold, clammy winter still held sway in this forsaken country. The only green was the scum of livid weed on the dark greasy surfaces of the sullen waters. Dead grasses and rotting reeds loomed up in the mists like ragged shadows of long forgotten summers."

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. See? I'm exhausted already.

Let me try...

"It's a fucking swamp. They're in the fucking swamp. They want out of the fucking swamp as much as you, the reader, want them out of the fucking swamp. There, they're out! On to Mordor."

Hey, this is easy. ;)

[pokerfan]

15. LOL

You might like the National Lampoon version: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bored_of_the_Rings



"Do you like what you doth see...?" said the voluptuous elf-maiden as she provocatively parted the folds of her robe to reveal the rounded, shadowy glories within. Frito's throat was dry, though his head reeled with desire and ale.

She slipped off the flimsy garment and strode toward the fascinated boggie unashamed of her nakedness. She ran a perfect hand along his hairy toes, and he helplessly watched them curl with the fierce insistent wanting of her.

"Let me make thee more comfortable," she whispered hoarsely, fiddling with the clasps of his jerkin, loosening his sword belt with a laugh. "Touch me, oh touch me," she crooned.

Frito's hand, as though of its own will, reached out and traced the delicate swelling of her elf-breast, while the other slowly crept around her tiny, flawless waist, crushing her to his barrel chest.

"Toes, I love hairy toes," she moaned, forcing him down on the silvered carpet. Her tiny pink toes caressed the luxuriant fur of his instep while Frito's nose sought out the warmth of her precious elf-navel.

"But I'm so small and hairy, and...and you're so beautiful," Frito whimpered, slipping clumsily out of his crossed garters.

The elf-maiden said nothing, but only sighed deep in her throat and held him more firmly to her faunlike body. "There is one thing you must do for me first," she whispered into one tufted ear.

"Anything," sobbed Frito, growing frantic with his need. "Anything!"

She closed her eyes and then opened them to the ceiling. "The Ring," she said. "I must have your Ring."

Frito's whole body tensed. "Oh no," he cried, "not that! Anything but...that."

"I must have it," she said both tenderly and fiercely. "I must have the Ring!"

Frito's eyes blurred with tears and confusion. "I can't," he said. "I musn't!"

But he knew resolve was no longer strong in him. Slowly, the elf-maiden's hand inched toward the chain in his vest pocket, closer and closer it came to the Ring Frito had guarded so faithfully...

[gratuitous]

18. Douglas C. Kenney was a genius

And left the party way too soon.

[pokerfan]

19. That he did

"What the hell are we supposed to do, ya moron?" - Stork, Animal House

[KurtNYC]

9. they added a total of 2 hours more of close-ups of Elijah Woods eyes looking anxious

that's not my line -- actually Sean Astin's made that joke about the trilogy. He said every other shot in the films is Elijah Wood, mouth slightly agape, and big blue eyes filled with anxiety and intensity.

[CBGLuthier]

11. I liked them when they made them. Have not thought twice about them since.

Whole thing was kind of overblown and lacking dramatically.

But I always have preferred "modern" fantasy like Zelazny's Amber series to stories about elves and fairies and made up hobbits and such.

Except for Hawk the Slayer. Now that movie rules!! :-)

[pokerfan]

14. The movies are an abomination

To experience Tolkien, one must read Tolkien. That's where one gets the full flavor of his writing, the style, the vocabulary. The man was an Oxford professor of English and created completely plausible languages along with a plausible fictional Anglo-Saxon mythology. None of which transfer easily to the big screen.

Jackson did as good of a job as anyone I suppose but still, some of his decisions and --even worse-- some of his inventions from whole cloth are unforgivable. Book vs. movie:

http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Book_vs._Movie:_Peter_Jackson%27s_The_Fellowship_of_the_Ring">The Fellowship of the Ring
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Book_vs._Movie:_Peter_Jackson%27s_The_Two_Towers">The Two Towers
http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Book_vs._Movie:_Peter_Jackson%27s_The_Return_of_the_King">The Return of the King

I have a love/hate relationship with the films. I suppose that the films encouraged some to read the books but on the other hand I fear that there are many more that feel that they've been exposed to Tolkien and that there's no need to read the book and that's a little tragic to me.

[LanternWaste]

16. I've always watched and judged a movie on its own merits

I've always watched and judged a movie on its own merits, regardless of the source material.

The two mediums can conflict quite often-- (e.g., exposition in literature is fun, exposition on film is tiring), and removing or editing one of those conflicts from the original medium to the new to allow better story telling may easily result in change of pacing, mood or even character or plot.

[Ikonoklast]

17. They make up for it with an added seven hours of Tom Bombadil footage

played by Charlie Sheen.

[pokerfan]

21. ‘Duh! Winning!’

I always thought that Tom Baker (Doctor Who) would have made a good Bombadil.